[Media Mama]

Ok Mamas, every now and then I feel guilty about this, so I thought I'd check in to see where other mamas stand. My 2 1/2 year old has a few somewhat regular playmates (two boys and a girl), but lately we've not been seeing much of them even (especially since one of the boys just moved away this week). She clearly enjoys playing one-on-one with kids, so when a whole week goes by and it's been just us playing, I start to think I'm depriving her.

How often do your toddlers have playdates? Should I start actively seeking out new friends so we have more people to call when our (now only) two options are busy or out of town?

 

[earthmama369]

Every kid's different. Does she start to act out after not having a playdate for a few days or is she also happy playing with you? And is there maybe a playgroup in your area that meets regularly to take the pressure off having to always arrange playdates?

My daughter's 20 months old and we go to a playgroup or have a playdate 4-6 times a week. But that's just us. She's extremely social and I find her energy levels easier to handle if we have a couple hours out and about most mornings. I'm also finding out that I'm a lot more social than I thought I was and I enjoy getting together and talking to other parents. But if that wasn't working for either one of us, I'd be looking for a different way of doing things. I don't think there's one standard to hold your lifestyle up to.

 

[Samjm]

We never have playdates. I WOH, so any playgroups / playdates happen while I'm at work, and despite my best efforts, I have not ben able to find any that meet on weekends or in the evenings.

She is at an in-home daycare with a couple of younger kids, but nobody else her own age.

DD is VERY social, and I feel bad that we don't have more friends for her.

 

[AugustineM]

DS is almost two and loves playing with other kids his age. He only had a couple playmates up until a couple months ago when I actively sought out some other groups & mamas. Now he talks constantly about them and always asks to go play with them. It's great and I like the connection with other mamas too. But I think it depends a lot on your personality and your child's. GL!

 

[elmh23]

We have an AP playgroup that meets every Thursday and Friday. My 20 month old loves these days. She's usually the youngest, but the "older" kids aren't much older. If it wasn't for this group, we wouldn't play with other kids much because I can't stand to watch mainstream parenting and that's what I'm surrounded by.

Good luck!

 

[reezley]

I'm home with my ds who is 21 months. We recently (well, 6 months ago..) moved back to my hometown and I still don't know anyone here with kids. Well, there's one woman I am somewhat acquainted with, but she works during the day so daytime playdates with her are out, unfortunately. So, we have no playmates. We get out to the playground almost every day, partly to see if there are any kids for him to at least see and play near (usually there is nobody there)! He would usually be just as happy to just play here in the yard, but I feel he should have *some* interaction with other kids his age. Once a week he plays with his older cousins (two boys, 7 and 10 years old). I also would like to find some other moms/toddlers, maybe more for me than ds...

 

[AugustineM]

Just to add -- you might look in the "Finding Your Tribe" section of the forums to see if any other like-minded mamas are interested in getting together. I've met several friends that way.

 

[Media Mama]

No doubt the ideal situation would be like-minded mamas with toddlers. I work at home and have been really, really busy all summer, but now with a slow down (thank goddess) and a new baby coming this fall, I think I'm finally ready to take on more playdates/play groups. The reason I posted the question in the first place is because ds is so easy going that she's happy playing with other kids or me. There doesn't seem to be any ill effects either way, so I was wondering how unusual we were for not having many playmates.

Used to be I just tried to find like-minded friends (easy in Portland). Now I have to find like-minded friends with toddlers who get along with my toddler!

 

[LynnS6]

We NEVER had playdates when ds was that age. Dd started daycare part time at 15 months, so she has "friends" there, but we don't do playdates on the days when she's not at daycare. OK, I'm an introvert and so is ds, so we really didn't care. Dd is more extroverted, but is OK with the interaction she gets from us and her brother, plus what she gets at 'school'.

2 year olds do not need playdates. Most kids are 3 or 3 1/2 before they crave the interaction.

Check out Mom and Me classes, or the Finding Your Tribe links if you need some connection.

 

[ilikethedesert]

I feel your pain. We don't have playdated every week either. Although- we do attend one of two playgroups once a week. We help a friend at the farmers market once a week during the season and the mom I help has two kids, so I count that! I find having a scheduled thing that happens every week makes it easier for me as I tend to be a hermit very easily!

 

[speairson]

We never have playdates either. Sometimes I feel guilty, but my kids are so close in age that they play well together, so I don't sweat it. We're moving in a couple months, so I may try to find friends for them then, but I'm not bothering now. We do go to parks and story times where there are other kids though, but they don't try to interact with the other kids there.

 

[Hoopin' Mama]

We rarely have play dates.
We are active though. These are some things we do so he is around other kids:

Music Together Classes

Parks and Recreation programs for Toddlers (the most bang for your buck)

Playground

Play area at the mall

Children's Museum

Special events at the zoo

And, invite your adult friends over a lot!! Most of my friends don't have kids, and ds gets attention lavished upon him from them.

 

[cyncyn]

Come on over to the PDX tribe! http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=493332
We have lots of moms of toddlers (including me) and get together pretty frequently. Our big summer picnic is coming up too: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=495453
My dd is 3.5 and is home with dh this summer, so I am feeling like she is deprived by not seeing many kids too. I have signed her up for some community education classes & swimming lessons. She is really social and goes up to any kid and introduces herself and wants to play. Dh and I are more introverted, but we try to support her desire to play with others. Maybe I'll see you around town!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Media Mama No doubt the ideal situation would be like-minded mamas with toddlers. I work at home and have been really, really busy all summer, but now with a slow down (thank goddess) and a new baby coming this fall, I think I'm finally ready to take on more playdates/play groups. The reason I posted the question in the first place is because ds is so easy going that she's happy playing with other kids or me. There doesn't seem to be any ill effects either way, so I was wondering how unusual we were for not having many playmates. Used to be I just tried to find like-minded friends (easy in Portland). Now I have to find like-minded friends with toddlers who get along with my toddler!

 

[boatbaby]

We met DS's group of friends via swim class and KinderMusic. They are not super AP, but not really mainstream either. The most important thing is that they are all nice kids and fun parents (2 are stay at home dads) and the kids all play nice.

It is amazing that 2 year olds (less than that when we met) can have so much fun playing together - really together not just around each other. In fact they BEG for each other when they don't have a day together. I feel very lucky!

One thing I did that helped make new friends when I found someone new was to make family business cards. You can make free cards at vistaprint.com
and we have our names/ email/ phone. So when you meet a new mama you like it can break the ice to pass a card and say, drop me an email and let's get the kids together.
Good luck to you!

 

[Media Mama]

I will, thanks!

 

[Rivka5]

My daughter is 16 months old. We have playgroup every other Wednesday (4 other mom/baby pairs), and on the Wednesdays that we don't have playgroup we get together with just my best friend from the group. On Saturday mornings we do toddler story hour at the library.

I find that what she really needs is outings or excursions. We go to the children's museum, zoo, park, arboretum, walking around in the neighborhood, etc. If we don't have lots of that in her schedule, she gets cranky and contrary. She enjoys playgroup, and gets especially excited when we see our best friends from the group, but she doesn't need it the way that she needs to be on the go.

 

[alexsam]

We have playdates fairly often. My 2 year old son really enjoys the interaction.

But equally important is MY interaction! I get to know other moms and we become friends. It's nice to have someone to talk to and we exchange favors sometimes. So really, the playdates are for both of us!

I say, if your daughter enjoys playing with others, it doesn't have to be a group of them to have a good time. I think it is what both of you are comfortable with. But I tell ya, a good mommy friend and a good baby friend pair can really brighten up the week!

 

[2M's Mom]

I am part of a wonderful playgroup in my town. It isn't AP, but everyone is very accepting of most parenting styles. My 2 year old LOVES it. Because I work part time, we usually attend about 6 playdates a month. She also takes a My Gym class on Saturday's and can see her friends there as well. If we go 3-4 days without seeing some of her favorite friends she will ask and beg for them. DD is very social! I am not so sure DS will be that way (although, he does have one little girl friend he adores!).

 

[chanale]

DD doesn't have many individual playdates, but we do get around. There's her toddler tumbling and music classses, and an AP playgroup. We also have a lot of general outings (not to see kids). My childbirth class keeps in touch and gets the kids together every once in awhile, and we would like to come up with a regular weekly playdate soon, but that's mostly because we moms are friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivka5 I find that what she really needs is outings or excursions. We go to the children's museum, zoo, park, arboretum, walking around in the neighborhood, etc. If we don't have lots of that in her schedule, she gets cranky and contrary. She enjoys playgroup, and gets especially excited when we see our best friends from the group, but she doesn't need it the way that she needs to be on the go.

Rivka5 took the words right out of my mouth.

That's DD exactly. As much as she likes hanging out with people of all ages (incl. kids), she lives for outings. I need to take her somewhere at least once a day or things get ugly.

 

[witchbaby]

we don't do playdates usually. i'm supershy and don't feel especially comfortable with other parents (and i'm usually the youngest there). k is extremely verbally and emotionally advanced and gets frustrated with kids her own age and generally prefers to associate with older kids on her same intellectual level, but they're much further ahead physically (she's always been a tiny bit behind in gross motor skills and fell further behind due to a leg break and subsequent cast when she was about 20 months old).
we hang out with friends occassionally who have a little girl 7 months younger than k and she enjoys that, but gets bored because the other little girl isn't quite on her level.
we're praying she potty learns soon (she's being stubborn about it), because we'd like to enroll her in a nearby montessori-- we think she would love being in that setting, especially because there will be older kids in the same classroom.