Originally Posted by EdlynsMom
I followed your link in TAO, so I dont know the history here. WHat are your DHs reasons for not wanting a doula?
Other than that, it seems very thorough (very good points about being there for your DD, that alone makes all the sense in the world to me) but a tad defensive. I know that whenever my DH and I get to arguing over something that means more to one than the other, we get that way and it very rarely helps. (sorry!) See if you cant take a breath and step back from it a bit. Maybe talk to a doula on your own and see what she would recommend saying to a reluctant person such as your DH? Of course, like I said, I dont know the history here!!! Hope we can be of help.
Originally Posted by MsElle07
I wouldn't play the all or nothing card. "Either we get a doula, or I give up the right to labor support." That's not fair to you. It's your birth, not his. There are a lot of student doulas who need to get births in to be certified -- if cost is a factor, I bet your MW could put you in touch with resources for one of those. Would your husband forcibly remove a labor support person once they arrived?
Also, can someone else take care of your older child, so he does feel he can be more "with" you during the birth?