Please help! Being forced to wean! :(

1715 Views 36 Replies 24 Participants Last post by JFTB1177, Apr 23, 2009

JFTB1177

Discussion Starter · Apr 20, 2009

3

My hubby informed me weeks ago that our finances are horrible and I have to go back to work much sooner than we planned (serious issues- IRS, etc!). We are both freelance techs in the television industry and so basically I have had no real maternity leave, I just have other techs sub for me while I'm gone and then take over when I want to come back. That part is cool, but the uncool part is it is obviously unpaid leave. So we are missing a lot of income right now... we thought we could stay afloat but we're sinking.

Breastfeeding my baby has been AMAZING!!! My first son was bottlefed- I tried so hard to BF him but my milk never really came in (I blame it on my c/s!) and I was in pain from the c/s, etc. I mean I tried and tried and tried to make it work for a few weeks before giving in to formula. It worked out fine with the formula, but I promised myself things would be different the next time.
This time around I had a home birth, and my 2nd baby took to the breast like a champ from day 1!

I have no, I repeat, NO breastfeeding problems whatsoever (with the exception of a small bout of mastitis early on)... tons of milk, etc. Just the wonderful breastfeeding relationship I always dreamed of. Now I am absolutely devastated it has to end... or does it??? I don't want to give it up, the thought makes me cry. Hubby keeps telling me to hurry up and introduce formula but I can't. He gave him a bottle once (my baby was horrified and didn't want to take it) and I literally couldn't watch. I am actually quite surprised at how emotional I've been about this.
I've thought about pumping while I'm at work; I have a $200 pump we bought when I was PG with my first son and it has gotten no use, obviously. But I am a freelance tech, which means I move from studio to studio all day (I do camera and floor directing). I have no office, no desk. I take the subway to work, so there is no sitting in my car. We have a breakroom but I work with 90% men and it's always full. I don't know where I'd pump, but I am so desperate to do anything to keep some sort of breastfeeding relationship going. Btw my mom watches the kids while I work (no daycare, in other words). Also want to add that my work week will be 4 days (Tues-Fri) from like 8-6 and 8-7.
Has anyone here been in my situation before and what did you do? I can't believe that after all I've been through, and then having BF-ing work so well this time, I have to just give it up!

Please help!!!!

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Pumpkin_Pie

· #2 · Apr 20, 2009

What about using your pump with a nursing cover? Not ideal, but at least you would have things "under wraps" a bit in your breakroom full of men. Any chance anyone would loan you an office? That might work too. You could just ask them if you could use it for 20 minutes or so and explain that you need to pump.

If you finances are tight, the cost of formula will only add to your costs. Finding a place to pump will help you in the long run.

JFTB1177

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 20, 2009

Thanks for posting Kim! The atmosphere I work in is so male-dominated and macho, there are only a few of us girls there and I think I'd feel soooo uncomfortable pumping in front of them, even if I was covered up. I know they would feel very uncomfortable and would probably start making immature comments if you kwim. Ugh. Maybe I could ask around to see if anyone has an office they would let me use...

This is a stupid question, but how does the whole pumping process work? Would I need a cooler? Is it safe to keep pumped breastmilk in a cooler? When are you supposed to pump? I am so clueless!

P.S. You are so right about the formula!!!

MCatLvrMom2A&X

· #4 · Apr 20, 2009

If it comes down to it you can always pump at home and give the baby the pumped milk while you are gone. Your body will learn to make more milk when you are home and not as much while you are away.

If you cant do that then you can still bfed when you are home and use formula while you are away.

You do NOT have to give up bfing 100% there are options.

My sil had to go back to work and didnt pump while at work other than hand expression when she had to and then when she got home she would nurse one side and pump the other side. Then in an hour she would pump both sides and save what she was able to pump. She only had to do it for a bit that much but it kept her nursing her babies.

You can keep pumped milk in the cooler all day as long as you have good cold packs. You would need to pump as often as your LO nurses or at least every 4 hours or risk engorgement and infection.

I am not sure about your state but most states have a law protecting bfing mothers and they must provide a place for you to pump.

Personally I would pump in the rest room before not bfing any more.

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Pumpkin_Pie

· #5 · Apr 20, 2009

How soon will you be going back? You might want to start pumping now to build up a freezer stash so your little one will get as much as possible.

As for exactly how it works, you can bring one of those little insulated lunch totes with a freezer pack or two and that will keep the milk cool enough all day. BM can stay at room temp for a LONG time without anything bad happening. I can't remember off the top of my head, as it has been over a year and a half since I pumped, but I used to pump in the evening while I was nursing DS in bed (I donated milk), and I would keep the milk in bottles beside my bed in a cooler bag. It would often be in there for 12 hours or more, and it was still cold when I finally got it into the fridge the next day.

As for frequency, you will want to pump as often as your baby nurses if possible, if not, every 2-3 hours should do it. Just realize that as your little one goes through growth spurts, he will need more milk, so you may need to pump a bit more to catch up to his demand from time to time.

He also may reverse cycle a bit, and take little or no milk while you are gone and make up for it in the evening and at night. Do you co-sleep? Having him close by at night and able to nurse freely throughout the night will definitely help to keep your nursing relationship intact.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

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doctormom

· #6 · Apr 20, 2009

Personally, I would pump in the bathroom before I would pump in a breakroom full of men. I have to relax in order to get a good letdown, and I couldn't manage it with people watching and snickering.

I pumped with no office as a busy medical resident, and I was able to jam the pumped milk-filled bottles, breast horns and all the pump "stuff" into my cooler with the icepack. Tight fit, but it worked. I did not wash the horns between sessions - they were icy cold when I went to pump, but it saved me a few precious minutes each time. As long as my icepack was frozen, I was comfortable with the safety of leaving my milk in the cooler, sometimes for 12 hours at a stretch.

You'll want to practice with the pump now - it takes time to learn how to let down for the pump, so don't wait until your first day back to try it out. I pumped every 3 hours or so, because that's how often my baby was eating. You can do this - you don't have to wean - even if you don't end up pumping, your babe can still nurse at night. You can make this work!

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pumpkinhead

· #7 · Apr 20, 2009

I've pumped in the bathroom before. It's not ideal, but you do what you gotta do.

Good luck to you!

JFTB1177

Discussion Starter · #8 · Apr 20, 2009

Thank you ladies SO MUCH for all of your advice and info! I feel better now knowing I don't have to give it up 100%!

doctormom- how do you let down for a pump? how is it different than for your baby? I guess it's more forced? do you have to think about your baby to make yourself letdown?

Pumpkin_Pie- (gulp) I'm going back next Tuesday!

I know I have waited a long time and should have started earlier, but you see, I was *supposed* to go back to work weeks ago, but I've been begging hubby to let me stay home longer and longer... now he says we just can't stretch it any longer and I have to go back next week. I semi-co-sleep; in other words, he sleeps right by my bed and during some parts of the night he sleeps in his bassinet and other parts of the night he falls asleep at my breast in bed with me (and I fall asleep too-lol).

What kind of supplies would I need to buy to pump- do I need those special steam things to clean the parts with, special bags for the breastmilk, etc? What has worked for you guys? What are really good icepacks that you use?

Would I only pump while at work? I am so confused as to when you are supposed to do it?

One more question- this may be a dumb question but how long does it take to pump (one session)? The same as a BF-ing session?

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kcstar

· #9 · Apr 20, 2009

8

How old is the nursling?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFTB1177

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This is a stupid question, but how does the whole pumping process work? Would I need a cooler? Is it safe to keep pumped breastmilk in a cooler? When are you supposed to pump? I am so clueless!

I've heard some lactivists say breastmilk could be okay for about 8 hours unrefrigerated. I always kept my foam cooler unzipped in the refrigerator, so the main time they might be unrefrigerated was the trip home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

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If it comes down to it you can always give pump at home and give the baby the pumped milk while you are gone. Your body will learn to make more milk when you are home and not as much while you are away.

You can try this. I ran into the problem that my son missed me, and he wanted his mama time when I was home. If not attached at the breast, then at the hip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

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You do NOT have to give up bfing 100% there are options.

: Even with work, you can nurse evenings, mornings, weekends. Do what you can, your best.

Do not stress about the rest. I did that at first. I hated every time I'd come home to find out that my LO had finished all the pumped BM before lunchtime and had formula in the afternoon. The stress was getting in the way of my family and my job both. When I settled for holding the line (he got my milk when I was home, I pumped what I could, if it wasn't all he needed then he got formula), my family was functional again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

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You would need to pump as often as your LO nurses or at least every 4 hours or risk engorgement and infection.

At first, and while you're adjusting. I started with three 20-minute pumping sessions in a 9 hour day (8 hours work plus the pump breaks). As he got bigger and started on solids, I was able to go to two pumping sessions, then one, and then none daytime. But as I said, my son reverse-cycled, so he still nurses at night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie

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How soon will you be going back? You might want to start pumping now to build up a freezer stash so your little one will get as much as possible.

: If your family will let you. Can your husband keep the kids occupied for a few minutes every day? Even two ounces a day will give you a little bit of a stash. I never was able to build a freezer stash, so that factors into what I said above.

Quote:

Originally Posted by doctormom

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You'll want to practice with the pump now - it takes time to learn how to let down for the pump, so don't wait until your first day back to try it out.

One positive thing to come out of my maternity leave hospitalization was that I had a lactation consultant helping me with my first pumping session. It was not what I expected. Is this something you can find help with? Maybe LLL or a friend who pumped?

I have the Medela Pump-in-Style backpack, so there was room for the hoses and "horns" without going in the fridge. I would rinse them after each use, and put them through the dishwasher / trade them out over the weekend.

Most pumps have a window to let you put a picture of your LO. I think my pump included directions like sit down, relax, think about your LO. It may take a little bit before letdown happens, but it usually didn't take me the full five minutes (the "letdown phase" of my two-cycle pump).

Does your pump have variable speeds? You'll need to fiddle with it to find the speed that's right for you. Too high or two low, and you won't see as much milk.

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hotharmony

· #10 · Apr 20, 2009

REMEMBER breastfeeding is not an all or nothing thing, you can FF and BF. I would suggest BF whenever your around him and pump when you can, but some suplimental formula every now and then is nbd.

crazyrunningmama

· #11 · Apr 20, 2009

Please consider contacting a lactation consultant, a La Leche League leader or an experienced pumping friend for more info. I second the co-sleeping idea, you can do a lot of bf'ing in the night. Good luck to you and congratulations on developing an awesome bf'ing relationship.

ElliesMomma

· #12 · Apr 20, 2009

i bought the Lanisol bags or equivalent at target for storing pumped milk. yes, looking at a picture of your baby can help letdown. definitely do the best you can and be content with that. a little formula is no big deal if it keeps your baby fed while you preserve your breastfeeding relationship. depending on your tolerance level for losing a little sleep at night, you could try moving baby into your bed outright for overnight nursing. this will totally help your milk supply to stay strong overall, if he is allowed to nurse at will overnight. of course dependent upon your ability to get by on a little less sleep.

there's feeding pumped breastmilk, and then there's preserving the breastfeeding relationship. as for me, i put preserving the bf relationship at the top, meaning, keep doing it all the time, as you are able, when you are able, no matter if this means spending all of your time nursing every weekend because you can't always do it four other days of the week.

i also like the idea of pumping while you nurse. baby on one side, pump on the other. this can keep your milk supply strong too. eventually baby might think it's neat, too. mine did.

above all, don't wean! just do what you have to do to keep going.

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MCatLvrMom2A&X

· #13 · Apr 20, 2009

You dont need a steamer to clean the pump parts just good old hot water is enough. You can either choose the bm storage bags or small bottles. I found that only freezing 2oz per bag worked best since you can always unthaw more but you cannot refreeze it.

The bags dont cost a lot thank goodness. Because I used the bags I prefered the playtex drop in bottles since they fit right in and both kids would only take that kind of nipple since they where most like the breast.

You may need to try several different bottles and nipples since not all babies will take any nipple. They can be picky little things.

You should try to pump at work and at home at first to get a freezer stash going once you get ahead then you can drop some pumpings somewhere.

You may have no trouble at all letting down while pumping I wasnt able to very well at all but I didnt pump much. You will need to relax and think of you LO and I found that massaging the breast a bit during helped some as well as leaning a bit forward.

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smeep

· #14 · Apr 20, 2009

Not much time, quick response and will come back later with my personal experience. For now, go to kellymom.com She has a whole section on pumping with everything you need to know including tips on bottlefeeding the breastfed baby. She also has info on reverse cycling.

emma1325

· #15 · Apr 20, 2009

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFTB1177

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Thank you ladies SO MUCH for all of your advice and info! I feel better now knowing I don't have to give it up 100%!

doctormom- how do you let down for a pump? how is it different than for your baby? I guess it's more forced? do you have to think about your baby to make yourself letdown?

Pumpkin_Pie- (gulp) I'm going back next Tuesday!

I know I have waited a long time and should have started earlier, but you see, I was *supposed* to go back to work weeks ago, but I've been begging hubby to let me stay home longer and longer... now he says we just can't stretch it any longer and I have to go back next week. I semi-co-sleep; in other words, he sleeps right by my bed and during some parts of the night he sleeps in his bassinet and other parts of the night he falls asleep at my breast in bed with me (and I fall asleep too-lol).

What kind of supplies would I need to buy to pump- do I need those special steam things to clean the parts with, special bags for the breastmilk, etc? What has worked for you guys? What are really good icepacks that you use?

Would I only pump while at work? I am so confused as to when you are supposed to do it?

One more question- this may be a dumb question but how long does it take to pump (one session)? The same as a BF-ing session?

Hi! I wanted to comment on how I pumped. Maybe someone mentioned it already, but I always had a lot of success combining these two methods:

1) pumping first thing in the morning

2) Feeding on one side, pumping the other at the same time.

I very often got 4-5 ounces or more out of one side when I pumped this way.

I worked full time and continued breastfeeding with both of my babies. It certainly wasn't the ideal situation to me, but you do what you have to do, you know? I missed out on a lot of time with my babies when they were very small, but I had them in my heart the entire time and would think about them every time I pumped.

I really hope you can find someplace to pump, such as an office, even if you will attempt reverse cycling. You will probably be more comfortable pumping at least one time throughout the day and lessen the chance of a dramatic drop in supply. Reverse cycling is something that you may find will happen regardless of if you are able to pump. Baby will likely make up for lost time in the middle of the night.

*At one time, I pumped in my car every day. I had tinted windows. Even without tinted windows, if you are able to park someplace fairly remote, and sit in the backseat, hang a shirt or something in front of the windows, and pump away!

You asked if pumped milk needed to stay cold. I don't know if this has been answered or not, but I wanted to say that as long as it stays room temperature, it will stay fresh for a looooong time. Should be fine all day. If you want to leave the milk in your car or someplace else that will get hot, or if you just feel better having it cold, then a cooler pack will do the trick.

Good luck!!!!

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pumpkinhead

· #16 · Apr 20, 2009

Freshly pumped breastmilk is actually good at room temperature for 10-12 hours. With cooler packs, it can be kept for up to 24 hours.

http://breastfeeding.hypermart.net/storagehandling.html

Heba

· #17 · Apr 20, 2009

I think everyone's said what I wanted to say, but *yay you* for wanting to continue, and I'm sure that you will find a way to make it work, whether exclusive bf or mixed feeding.

General advice is to pump whenever your baby would be feeding, but my experience was that I didn't need to do that. I would only pump once or twice a day (with a hand-held single electric pump), and that was fine. I would however pump as soon as I got home (babe fed in one arm, pump with the other hand). See how you go.

I kept the milk in a cool (insulating) bag with ice block. For current LLLI guidelines on milk storage, look here: http://www.llli.org/FAQ/milkstorage.html

Good luck!

Heba

· #18 · Apr 20, 2009

Sorry Pumpkinhead, posted just after you and didn't see that you had already posted link to storage guidelines.

weliveintheforest

· #19 · Apr 20, 2009

You've gotten lots of great advice, but I was wondering if it was possible for your Mom to bring baby to you at lunch time? Even a couple times a week might help if it was doable with your schedules etc.

Mrsboyko

· #20 · Apr 20, 2009

Ideas for pumping at work:
1) Keep a few extra freezer packs in the work freezer. Swap them out midway through the day so you are sure the milk stays cold. Or just store the whole pack in the fridge. Ours is always too full though, so I used the packs.

2) If you are pumping today for tomorrows bottles, you don't ned to waste the milk bags. Get a few cheepie 8 oz bottles with lids and use them to store the milk in. Pump into them, then just keep adding the milk into the big bottle till it is full. When your mom makes him a bottle she can just pour the milk from the big 8 oz bottle in to his smaller feeding bottles.

3) Get multiple pump parts. I have 5 full sets so I am never without one. Leave one full set at work (or in your car) JIC.

4) pump one side while feeding on the other on weekends. This will keep your supply up as well as giving you a little extra milk for days during the week where you may fall short.

5) Any extra milk on Firday (more than what will be used come Monday) can be frozen to build a freezer stash. I don't know if you have your baby at your house or your mom's, but make sure where ever he is that there is at least 10 oz of frozen available to him. This gives you a bit of a buffer for longer days or growth spurts.

Right now my baby is 7 weeks old. I pump 2x at work and get about 12-16 oz a day. Baby boy is eating about 12 oz in the 10 hours while i am gone M-F. It absolutely can be done, don't give up a great relationhip w/o at least trying. A little supplamental formula is not bad either. In fact that is what formula should be used for IMO.

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