please help... I am feeling desperate here!

518 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by Lula's Mom, Jun 5, 2005

gentlemama

Discussion Starter · Jun 3, 2005

To some this post may sound very selfish...I even feel guilty myself but here goes. I bf my 20 month old dd. I am pregnant with #2, I am about 11 weeks along. I am having the hardest time with her nursing. It hurts soooo bad. And it scares me because when she nurses, I get bad cramps in my uterus. I tried to withhold the breast but she screams and cries until I give in (yes I know I shuold not let her cry...I feel out of control in the situation). Also, I do not know anyone who bf this long and all my family and friends are giving me a hard time. I used to deal with it pretty well, but now with my pain, the cramps, their fussing.... I am at my wits end. What should I do?

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seekermage

· #2 · Jun 3, 2005

I dont have any personal experience yet with nursing while pregnant(hopefully soon), but let me atleast try. I think that there are two different schools of thought on cramping while nursing. One being that its ok, just your uterus preparing itself and getting ready for growing baby....the other that its not a good thing as nipple stimulation later in pregnancy can be used to induce labor. I might be wrong on this, so take it with a grain of salt.

Are you ready to wean dd? If not maybe try different positions, make sure she has a proper latch, and are you getting enough fluids? Maybe because your milk starts to dry up some she is sucking harder to pull more out? Im really not sure but thats the only thing I can think of. Hopefully it will get easier or DD weans, which ever your prefer. Another thing to try, maybe she is wanting the comfort more then the nursing. Make sure to give her some "quality" cuddle time like she gets while nursing. This might calm down the screaming. I know its hard when you have a screamer....little

I too have one who doestnt want to nurse much, instead her current screaming fits are for sticks of butter....yep butter!

Good luck mama....hopefully you will have a better time soon!

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gethane

· #3 · Jun 3, 2005

gentlemama, I empathize. I'm at my wits end with my 18.5 month old. I'm currently 6-8 weeks pregnant and my toddler wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. I don't mind nursing him, I don't even mind nursing him once an hour. But I HATE how he wants to take a quick suck every 15 minutes! And night has become a battleground. He's no longer content to nurse each side and roll over back to sleep. He wants the nipple in his mouth all the time and I just can't do that. I have to get up to pee, I have to roll over occasionally. He just cries and thrashes. I try and rub his back but he's so mad at me that he rolls away from me and continues crying. I don't mind nursing him 2 or 3 times (at night), but I can't do that constant attached thing.

I'm really frustrated and sad at the same time.

*hugs*

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Mamabeakley

· #4 · Jun 4, 2005

Okay, I, too, have no experience. However, a thing I have heard that sounds very wise to me is that if you are trying, for whatever reason, to limit nursing with a toddler, that it can be very helpful to let them know when and how much they ARE allowed to nurse. I.e., no, we can't nurse now, but we will at nap-time. Or, you can nurse till I count to 10.

Also, I have a baby who WOULDN'T let me get up at night to pee. I have had success with this problem! I take his wet diaper off (usually him fussing about his diaper is what woke me up), and escape to the bathroom. He finds being diaperless very relaxing and lies there peacefully till I come back and put a dry one on. Then it's back to the sleep-boob.

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Lula's Mom

· #5 · Jun 5, 2005

Mama Beakley's advice about counting was what worked for me when I was pregnant. My daughter was 2 1/2 when I got pregnant, so older than yours, but I know she would have understood at 20 months. Nursing hurt so bad until I reached the second trimester, and then it was just fine again. Our nursing relationship went back to the way it was, and continues to be great.

eta: I had a few episodes of strong contractions early on in the pregnancy, but that went away too.

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