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I was sitting on the couch changing my 2 1/2 year olds diaper and he didn't want me to. He started kicking and kicked me twice in the belly really hard. It wouldn't be so bad but I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant! He has done this several times before and every time I tell him that he can't kick mommy in the tummy, because he'll hurt the baby. Well this time it was really hard and I warned him ahead of time not to kick me in the tummy because of the baby. But he did it anyway and I ended up spanking him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I hate doing that and it makes me feel terribly guilty the second my hand hits his butt. He gets his feelings hurt and cries and then I cry. What can I do to control my temper and what can I do to keep him from kicking me every time I change his diaper? Please help a very hormonal and protective mommy!!! I just don't know what to do! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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That's tough.<br>
Diaper changes are rough for us as well. I've lost my patience a couple of times during dipe changes. He's screamed bloody murder during diaper changes since he was a newborn. He's almost 2. That's a LOT of hard diaper changes and I get really frustrated really easily.<br><br>
In your situation, since it's the kicking in the tummy that triggers you, is there any way you can change his diaper where you're not sitting in front of him? Maybe standing over him on the sofa would help, since he wouldn't be able to kick you in the belly? Or at the bed, or changing table?<br><br>
That's all I've got though...it's so hard when you just lash out really quickly, in the heat of hte moment. I have a hard time with that too. With me though, it's yelling. I yell when I get frustrated and then the situation just cycles into something way uglier than it needed to be.<br><br>
Good luck, and hope you figure something out that works for you.
 

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I'm 34 weeks pregnant and when my DD, now 2, accidentally kicks me in my belly while changing her diaper, I react too. It is to the point that any small kick hurts. So now I sit to the side of her and change her diaper. Or I pull her in a little closer to me and have her legs on either side of my belly. It's easier now. You could try that. I know you don't mean to hurt your little one, it's reaction. You are instinctively guarding the unborn life inside you. That's natural. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a great mom. You are trying to find ways to help the little one you already have too. That's a great thing.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hey, don't forget that YOU deserve not to be kicked in the tummy!!! It's not just about the baby! Actually, I wonder if your son may be kicking you because he wants to hurt the baby? Does he kick/hit you in other places as well? Anyway, "don't kick people" is an important lesson with much wider applicability than "don't kick a pregnant woman's tummy," so I'd focus on that and not mention the baby.<br><br>
The only time I've ever hit my child was when he kicked me in the face with a poopy foot during a diaper change. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> Sometimes even mamas get provoked beyond rationality! Try not to do it again--take deep breaths, use your firm voice, move away from him if you can--but forgive yourself for having done it.<br><br>
If you are hurt/upset enough to cry, go ahead and cry. It's better than hitting him. Instead of hurting him back, let him see how he hurt you. Don't MAKE yourself cry or overdo it (that's manipulative) but if his actions make you cry don't suppress it out of fear of hurting his feelings. It sounds like you're sometimes winding up in tears anyway, so let that happen without the spanking. Let the tension break at an earlier point.
 

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I've experienced this. I'm almost 36 wks pregnant and my 20 month old will kick me in the tummy during diaper changes. He'll smack my belly occasionally, too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I'm not sure why he does this but I started asking him to say sorry to the baby (which consists of him kissing my belly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ) and asking him to be gentle. This decreased the incidents considerably.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I was sitting on the couch changing my 2 1/2 year olds diaper and he didn't want me to. He started kicking and kicked me twice in the belly really hard. It wouldn't be so bad but I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant! He has done this several times before and every time I tell him that he can't kick mommy in the tummy, because he'll hurt the baby. Well this time it was really hard and I warned him ahead of time not to kick me in the tummy because of the baby. (</div>
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Hey, do we have the same kid??? I have the the exact same problem - the worst is when he misses the belly and gets my face with SHOES!!!... I have tried "Mamma's crying", talking it through (how do you feel when you get hurt?) and time out - with this issue, it's all a game to him. It is SO frustrating (that and tweaking my nipples hard lately - HUNH????) -I understand your impulse.<br><br>
The only thing that works sometimes is just walking away from him ("Mamma doesn't want to be with a little boy that hurts her"). Although this hasn't curbed it completely, it may be just as good a response for my sake as his. Sometimes we need to walk away from the little monsters, and the big one that lurks within me, too....
 

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We all have bad parenting days (mine was today), so don't beat yourself up. And he's probably not going to hurt the baby -- I'm not saying that you should let him kick you or anything, but it's not likely he's already done any harm to the baby.<br><br>
How would it work to change his diaper with him standing?
 

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Have you heard of the <b>talking diaper technique</b>? Maybe someone could explain it, or you might search in the GD archives. Basically, it is playfully having the diaper talk its way onto the child.<br><br>
But, we changed standing up, with toys to play with. Perhaps, standing facing the couch with toys on the couch, or while watching tv.<br><br><br>
Pat
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for the support and good ideas. Maybe I will try to start changing his diaper when he's standing. He might like that better anyway, especially is he can play with toys at the same time. Maybe one of these days he'll be interested in potty learning and I won't have to deal with getting beat up!!!
 

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Does he know the alphabet song? When all my boys used to fight me or just be so silly I couldn't change their diaper, I would say "Hey, I'll bet I can finish changing your diaper before you finish the alphabet song!"<br><br>
Sometimes I also used to think of something fun to do right after the diaper change, so I could say "Let's hurry and get your new diaper on so we can ____."
 

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Hugs! My 2yo did this while I was pregnant; I had no idea it was so common. It helped us to make a game out of how fast we could get the diaper changed - rushing to the point of silliness, talking superfast, exaggerating. This seems to work with a lot of things - getting shoes on, wiping off faces, picking up blocks.
 

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We have a detachable shower head. When DS was that age I would take him to the bathroom to change him and just hose his back side off with the shower head in one hand and him draped over my other arm. I thought it was much easier and more sanitary than wipes or wash cloths anyway. I wasn't pg at the time so I don't know how feasible that would be.
 

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When my DS starts kicking and we are on the floor or bed (where I am sitting on the same level that he is laying), I pull him in as close as possible and tuck his feet under my legs. That keeps him from kicking without hurting him, though it does make him angry (I say "I know, I'm a mean, mean mama, aren't I").<br><br>
Of course, wiping can be a challenge, though if you tuck just one foot, it's pretty manageable.<br><br>
Good luck!
 
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