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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
please help if you have anything you can think of to help me. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm like 10 days before my due date with #3, and i really thought i was going into labor last night, have had contractions on and off (had my second 3 weeks early, first 5 days early), and it's like i have bad postpartum depression before the baby's born. i can't stop crying. i am scared about the labor, been trying to work through that, have a doula, read tons, and did last time wihtout drugs so intending to again, but it's like this sobbing isn't rational. i'm sitting, looking at my 2 beautiful kids, trying to relax, and i just sob. i just feel like i want out of this situation so badly, i'd sell my soul right now to not have to do this labor, and i don't know why. i really do well in labor, i mean i really was able to relax last time and had a great birth, and i know i can this time, but what's wrong with me? why can't i stop crying? i've felt nauseous and yucky for a couple of days now, but trying to eat and drink enough that that shouldn't be causing my insanity. i'll finally get calmed down and then it's all fine, but it's like it sneaks back in waves and i end up sobbing again. any words of wisdom? thanks, i just feel like i've lost my mind...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by zacsmama
it's like i have bad postpartum depression before the baby's born.
nak

a friend of mine had this same experience. if i were in your situation i would contact my midwife/physician and see what they can do to help.
 

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I don't really know what to say here, but I read your post and just had to reply. Is there someone you can talk to IRL? Is your DP with you, or is there someone whom you trust that can come to your house to be with you? Maybe your doula can help in some way?

I am no expert here, but I think you need to talk to someone quickly. You sound like you are feeling really overwhelmed right now, and I am so sorry for that.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers


In the meantime, try to relax and if you can, trust that your body knows how to birth this baby.

Good luck mama.
 

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Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this! It's rough!!! I usually get really emotional with the final hormone surges before it's labor time. That could be what's going on. It's tough to live like that. How long have you felt like this?

What I experience is usually like the last week, maybe two weeks before delivery. Then, when I finally go into labor I'm SO HAPPY, despite fearing so much. I hope this is the case with you.

I do know that some women are afflicted by prenatal depression. Go on over to the Postpartum Depression board to read about iit. I konw there's info there about it.

Also, talking to your Doula. Ask her to screen you for prenatal depression. I think esp if this has been going on for a while (and not jsut the final hormone surge) then it's best to get help now.

I wish you peace in your heart and calmness in your body soon.
 

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awww, hun. I would talk with somebody - namely your healthcare practioner overseeing your pregnancy. Is everything OK at home? Is your husband supportive? Is it a case of personal stress or a case of hormones? I wouldnt' go into labor feeling as blue as you are, or it could make labor more difficult. I wish you the best
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
thanks for the kind responses! dh is great, but he doesn't know what to do, and it's so hard wit hteh kids, because i want to be normal for them, and they are just playing and being happy and their loud voices just feel like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. my 2 yo is so screechy sometimes, and yet so adorable, and i just can't stand hearing her fuss right now, and my 6 yo is just so sweet but he seems so loud right now. i just feel like climbing into a cave. maybe i'll call my mom, she's a shrink, but the problem is she gets into mom mode and just tries to "fix" things and i don't know how to fix this. feel like the world is caving in on me, and i can hear what you mean re: it would be a relief to just go into labor right now. i'm stressed about the stupidest things about it, like the 2 mile drive to the hospital, hardly far, but i hate that hospital transition. ok, gotta go try to get kids to bed, dh will do most of it, but i can't stand not to see them before bed. thanks for being so nice.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by zacsmama
thanks for the kind responses! dh is great, but he doesn't know what to do, and it's so hard wit hteh kids, because i want to be normal for them, and they are just playing and being happy and their loud voices just feel like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. my 2 yo is so screechy sometimes, and yet so adorable, and i just can't stand hearing her fuss right now, and my 6 yo is just so sweet but he seems so loud right now. i just feel like climbing into a cave. maybe i'll call my mom, she's a shrink, but the problem is she gets into mom mode and just tries to "fix" things and i don't know how to fix this. feel like the world is caving in on me, and i can hear what you mean re: it would be a relief to just go into labor right now. i'm stressed about the stupidest things about it, like the 2 mile drive to the hospital, hardly far, but i hate that hospital transition. ok, gotta go try to get kids to bed, dh will do most of it, but i can't stand not to see them before bed. thanks for being so nice.
Get a sitter, maybe the kids can go to Gramma's for a few days and let you rest.
 

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I am thinking you are in early labour...really really early labour...that you are experiencing some of the feelings that happen for many women in transition. I don't believe that labour starts with contractions...I think many things slip into place weeks before the contractions begin...many hormonal changes...form some this happens over a day or two and for others it's weeks.

The day I went in labour I went into hysterics...I cried and cried...I was in labour but I wouldn't believe it....my midwife thought I was in transition...I wasn't...but I was panicked and I wanted out really really bad...I felt trapped and I didn't want to do it...and trust me...I was really prepared for birth.

I think you are experiencing the same thing...you are getting really really close and your hormones are rushing about and it's really hard to manage.

You will go any time and all will be really great.

In the meantime take care of yourself

 

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I agree with the hormone release thing... maybe you just need to let all those hormones flow... go somewhere quiet...outdoors if your environment permits... let yourself cry if you feel like it.... just allow yourself to feel how you feel. And even though I've never been in labor before, something tells me its pretty close! Maybe your body is getting that emotional release out so that you can concentrate on the birth when it starts happening. Listen to your body and if its telling you that you need to just get out...well maybe you should... get out of your current environment that is... go get yourself refreshed. change of scenery or something might help?
We're all here if ya still need to talk/chat/vent/scream/cry!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
another weird thing is that i feel really agoraphobic, is that the word for not wanting to leave the house? it's 90 degrees here, and that terrifies me, and thank god i have central AC, but by getting out i mean getting out of the situation, not getting out of the house.. talked to my doula last night, she was wonderful, but i swear the responses you guys give are more helpful than what anyone else has said. dh is doing his best, and thankfully the nanny will come today and sweep the kids away for the day, so i can be quiet. it's worse at night, i just feel like this dark cloud is over me and everything is so sad. and i worry this means i'll be extra crazy when baby comes. i hate that postpartum craziness i've felt before, it's so much like that but add terror re: impending birth. i'm going to go to my ob today just because i'm supposed to go in weds anyways, so why not be checked out. i think the nausea is really getting me down too, and i'm probably getting dehydrated but it's hard to drink when you are nauseous. thanks again everyone for listening and being so nice
 

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No amazing advice for you.Just hugs and thoughts of a wonderful birth and brand new baby. We women for get that our bodies were designed to birth babies and feed our babies. Fear can make a labor longer. I hope that you have a quiet day with your kids gone and that it helps you gain perspective again. Blessings to you. Enjoy the last days of being pregnant, it is such a miracle.
 

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I think this could be the adrenaline rush of early labour, making it harder to get everything back into perspective. Another way of looking at this is nesting- like a dog or any other animal, you're trying to find a safe place for your baby to be born, quiet and calm and safe and reassuring- and noise and vulnerable really aren't a good combination at any time. Call it nesting, call it the start of the first stage, the end of the overture- it's a good sign. It means that you can probably count the days, if not the hours, until your babe is here.
 

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This totally happened to me the day before I had my second. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't stop crying. My dh had to go to work, so he called my sil and she came down and stayed with me. Oddly enough, being with someone different, and hadn't ever had kids, was so good for me. We just talked about stuff, none having to do with pregnancy, childbirth or babies. It was so relaxing. I went into labor that night and had my baby at 3:45 that morning.

You KNOW you can have a great labor and you KNOW that everything will be okay. It's the hormones, pure and simple.

You are going to think that I'm crazy, but have someone come over, watch a movie, FORGET ABOUT BEING PREGNANT. It's sounds hard, but your mind needs to relax before this whole process starts....

*hugs* and good birthin' to ya!!!!!
 

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I'm a first time mama, so I can't speak from experience of labor, but it just sounds so much like what I've read about in terms of women's feelings around labor. It's a deep animal instinct to want to be alone, in the quiet, and some times the dark, to birth.

I had horrible mood swings after m/cs and on clomid, and I remember one day just feeling utterly wretched, sobbing, dissatisified with everything in my life, even while I knew it was utterly irrational. DH said with great trepidation "Do you think it might be the clomid?" and I just burst out laughing. I was so relieved I wasn't crazy! This has helped a lot through the bad pregnancy mood swings, which involved just sobbing suddenly with no trigger or anything, while having breakfast mostly.

I've learned not to dismiss these, which makes me feel crazy, or look for reasons for the way I feel, which I can always find and then I stay miserable, but just to let the feelings happen and let them go. It's like a train going by, fast, and sudden and hard, but real and more manageable if I don't try to do anything about it.

I think you've got great advice here, and I'm sure it's incredibly overwhelming in the degree that it's hit you, but I don't think the root of all this is anything other than normal.
 

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Zacsmama....

Definitely check in with the MW/OB, particularly if you are prone to depression after the birth... that way you can get a heads up on what's happening. The melancholy can be completely normal, but no need to endure what's not. I've experienced PPD before... I can relate.

I'm inclined to think as the other mamas... that it's the signal of early labor. It took me 3 births to figure out that about 4 days prior to labor I have a huge, hysterical fight with dh and then I go off by myself for 6 or 7 hours. Just kinda disappear for the evening... Then I come back feeling more prepared.

Hope you don't have to stay in this place long.
 
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