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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hate just popping in to ask for help, but I really don't know what to do. DS and I sleep in the guest room, while DH sleeps in our bed alone. We've basically had this arrangement for the 2 years since DS was born. I thought it was fine, even though people that know about it think we're nuts, but DH and I are starting to drift apart. He told me the other night that he feels like the fact that we sleep apart is a factor, that we don't have any time together in the evenings to talk. (we have plenty of opportunities for everything else
) Anyway, DH and DS can't sleep together - both too restless. DS still wakes up at least twice a night, and I don't get any sleep playing musical beds all night. So what do I do? I have to respect DH's feelings about this and make an effort, but I don't know what to do. Should I try putting a mattress on the floor in our room for DS? Will that make it harder to eventually transition him to his own room (when he's ready)?
 

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I think the mattress on the floor idea is a good one. But, what about having dates with your dh? I am in the same exact predicament but we have dates. We occasionally have grandma babysit while we go out to lunch. Or, we will let dd watch a dvd and we will have a quickie or take a shower together. After dd goes to sleep, we sometimes snuggle together in the guest room. I know cosleeping couples who even have a scheduled weekly date night with either a babysitter or just after the kids go to sleep. If not, counseling also helps. We've done that too as have other cosleeping friends.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I think we are going to start having a date night. We recently moved to a new city with no family, so I haven't felt comfortable leaving ds with anyone. I still think sleeping separately is making dh feel uncomfortable though, so I might still try the mattress in the floor. Sleep issues are so hard!
 

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I don't have a ton of advice but to allay your fears: Putting a mattress for your ds on the floor of your room does NOT = ds not going to college because he can't bare to sleep anywhere but in your room on the mattress on the floor


He will grow and change and mature. He will not need that much attachment to you to feel secure. I equate cosleeping with babywearing. You don't see many mamas and papas out there lugging around 10 y.o. in the sling. It stopped working for everyone involved.

This is coming from a previously co-slept dd. My vote (not that I get one!
) Move back to your room with your dh and put your ds on the floor. When he's ready he'll move out


Jenne
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenne
...This is coming from a previously co-slept dd. My vote (not that I get one!
) Move back to your room with your dh and put your ds on the floor. When he's ready he'll move out


Jenne
Thank you for that vote, and for your reality check. I know he won't always need to co-sleep. I'll actually miss it when he's too grown up to need me so much
I really think this whole issue has something to do with the fact that dh's mom is coming to visit next month, and she is VERY mainstream, shocked that I'm STILL nursing, thinks I'm generally a little off center, and who knows what she'll think if she finds out our sleep arrangement. She'll notify the whole family and they'll have to stage an intervention or something. He hasn't said that, but I really think that's an issue. I think I will definitely move his mattress and give that a try. That just makes the most sense, and hopefully one of these days ds will sleep all night
: and we won't have to worry about where anyone sleeps. Of course, then I'll have to wake up just to check on ds and watch him sleep
.
 
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