Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone --<br><br>
I'm wondering if anyone can help me understand the big picture in terms of developmental delays. My ds just turned 1. He is not yet crawling (though he has been trying for several months) nor is he saying words (though he babbles all his consonants). He's been a bit of a slow developer in all ways -- sitting at 8 months (instead of 6), pushing up to sit at 11 months (instead of 9) etc. He didn't even get a tooth until 10 months and still only has 3. Ultimately, he's developing, covering all the steps, but is several months behind. We will be taking him to a pediatric neurologist to check for anything wrong there, and he has had a CAT scan (which came out negetive) because he had two febrile seizures in a week.<br><br>
Needless to say, it's been a challenging few months as we see him 'almost' hit his milestones, but miss them, while all the other 1 year olds we know are passing him by.<br><br>
So I guess I am just looking for support in terms of what developmental delays really mean. My ds is a bright, funny, playful, peaceful little guy. He's had good head control since birth, loves to stand (with help and since about 3 months old), rolled over early and easily, and just seems like he's okay for the most part. He loves to fly around and doesn't seem to be high needs in any way.<br><br>
The problem since birth has seemed to be located in his arms. They have always been a little shaky and I think that that is what has delayed his ability to push himself up or start to crawl or hang onto things so he can walk around. he didn't 'grab' stuff until he was older than most curious babies, but now has no problem ripping open birthday present packages or putting a spoon (the right end) in his mouth. Our doctor says the muscle tone in his arms may be a little "tight" compared to the rest of his body, but I've often thought of them as week.<br><br>
He also has a pretty small head (10th percentile) which our dr has never been worried about, but has always nagged at me. In addition, he has estropia/strabism in his eyes.<br><br>
He's not terribly motivated in personality and is pretty mellow (plays easily by himself, loves to cuddle), and while he isn't extremely reactive to the world around him, he knows his name, recognizes words and items, and seems alert enough.<br><br>
So I guess I am just wondering if these types of developmental delays can be 'grown out of' or helped by therapy, if they indicate long standing problems, or if there really is no way of telling. Does he, by default, have something like Cerebral Palsy? Or can he just have these slow places that don't mean that he has something big wrong with him?<br><br>
Ultimately, I just want him to be an ordinary boy, who can run and jump, play, laugh and read. And I just don't know if that is the future I am allowed to picture for us.<br><br>
Any words of assurance or wisdom?<br><br>
mskgandn<br><br><br><br>
(Cross-posted)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,971 Posts
First, sorry your here - but feel free to join us in the Not-Quite-Special-Needs thread that's a little below this post (last time I checked.)<br><br>
As for your ds's issues - first, tight muscles can be weak muscles. Because the muscles are tight, he's not using them as much, so they're not as strong as they can be. Tight muscles like that can be a sign of cerebral palsy, which a neurologist should be able to discover. CP is a condition of the muscles, it doesn't actually have anything to do with mental ability - sometimes people think CP is hand in hand with mental retardation of some sort and that isn't true. Yes, sometimes CP is found along with other problems, but sometimes the child only has CP (my friend's son seems to be this way.)<br><br>
Head size can mean something, or it can mean nothing. My friend's ds's both had small heads (like 5% small) and yet they were so much more advanced than my dd.<br><br>
Any sort of cross0-eyedness should be checked out by a pediatric opthamologist. My dd's strabismus is caused by far-sightedness, so she wears glasses to try to correct the problem (the problem right now is keeping them on!) Other ways to correct it is using eye patches, or surgery. My sil had the surgery when she was 16 and it was no big deal with her.<br><br>
As for if being delayed means long-term issues - I wish I knew. My dd has fine and gross motor skill delays, plus speech delays. Socially and emotionally, she is in the normal range, which her pediatrician says is the most important/telling one. That kids who have at least normal social/emotional development tend to catch up. Meanwhile, she gets PT/OT/ST through our local Early Intervention program. I would suggest this to you, since they can do an evaluation to see where his skills are at, and if he qualifies, he can get therapy for free. The bonus for me was that I became friends with other moms of kids in therapy and had a real life person I could talk to that understands what I'm going through.<br><br>
My dd doesn't have a diagnosis. Once we get on new insurance, we'll see a neurologist. If he finds nothing, then we're going to basically stop all testing (unless someone qualified says "Check for this, she may have that!") It's very hard sometimes, not knowing her future, but my dd is a bright, beautiful little girl, an absolute joy to be around. If for some reason she can't take care of herself as an adult, I know that she'll always have three great siblings who will look out after her - they already do. But she's sooooo self-sufficient right now, I think she'll be fine when she grows up. It's just going to take longer for her to catch up, we're on the Scenic Tour here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
But check us out in the Not-Quite-Special-Needs thread - we ALL will know what you're going through <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks so much for your reply. I like that..."we're on the scenic tour". Yes, we will pursue both a neurological and physical evalution. My ds too is bright and beautiful...it's me who needs to step out of this fog of worry. Everyone's support really helps.<br><br>
mskgandn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,971 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mskgandn</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks so much for your reply. I like that..."we're on the scenic tour". Yes, we will pursue both a neurological and physical evalution. My ds too is bright and beautiful...it's me who needs to step out of this fog of worry. Everyone's support really helps.<br></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I can truly feel for you. Dh and I decided long ago (well, it seems long ago, lol) that we were going to get through dd's issues by being obnoxiously positive about it all. I joke that we're taking a vacation in Extended Toddlerhood (most kids her age are talking and potty training and dressing themselves and acting like little people and she's still so babyish in comparision.) I also joke that Maura's doing this b/c she's the fourth and wanted to make sure she got my attention - and boy, did she ever!<br><br>
Another thing to keep in mind is that while we the parent are trying not to freak out and worry and mourning for that vision of a child that will never be, our kids are perfectly happy. Enjoy the happiness while we can.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
330 Posts
I also just wanted to chime in here,as much of your description about your son sounds sooo familiar with what we're going through right now.<br>
Seth is 10 months(will be 11m on 26th March)doesn't sit up,not crawling,stands only with assist,only babbles dadada and other non word sounds,not feeding himself.He is our youngest of six and has totally been my best baby--is very happy and peaceful and social.He along with the two older than him are adopted and the other two boys both have Down Syndrome.I live in a world of delays,I know them well...but this little guy has me stumped!I finally caved and took him to our ped. last week because Seth also does this weird trembling thing sometimes that I thought was going to be our key to solving the mystery.It wasn't,and now we think the sometimes trembling is just an immature nervous system.My doc said the same thing as pp about the social and emotional markers for Seth being fine...but he still does have obvious global delays.He wasn't overly concerned at all,but was going to do a referall to a neurologist just make sure.I think he really was doing that to appease me,honestly.He said sometimes kiddos have global delays and there's no answer as to why.The more I think about it,I'm going to hold off on the neurologist and just have my other boys OT or DT do an informal eval.We are pretty natural and non invasive as far as medical things go---and I really don't want Seth to have his head scanned,esp. more than once,if not totally necessary.I know this is all very frustrating,mainly when you don't have a "reason"or a "word" you can put on it.That's why his delays are so different for me to deal with than my other boys'--I know why they're delayed and can deal with it appropriately and utilize resources and network relating directly to Down Syndrome.I may never know why Seth is slow to reach these "milestones",but I really in my gut don't feel like it's a neuro problem.<br><br>
Sorry so long....take care<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,834 Posts
At 10 months old, they thought my son had brain damage. He's now 26 months old and doing really well. His dx is in the autism spectrum.<br><br>
I would encourage you to read "The Child With Special Needs". It will explain to you (without labels/diagnoses) how even quirks in normal children can lead to changes in how they develop. It's an excellent book.<br><br>
In the end, even if there is a problem--the actual diagnosis isn't going to help. We learned quickly that it didn't matter because for the most--the treatment was by the symptom, not the diagnosis. If he didn't interact with people, it really didn't matter why (so long as it wasn't a physical abnormality)--he would still have to learn XYZ skills through therapy. Does that make sense?<br><br>
And I would seriously encourage you to keep a log. The problems could be as plain as an allergy or intolerance. Keep a spiral book with the hours run down the left edge and mark all sleep, food intake, output (poopy & urine), and behavior. If you're bfing, be sure to keep the same for you (I kept mine to the far right). Start seeing if you can detect patterns. It might take a few months. I know this sounds tedious, but you get used to it really quick and even for a normal child this is a GODSEND (I know--I did it long before my ds had issues) when dealing with doctors.<br><br>
As for the shaking... it's interesting. My son has two kinds of sleep apnea: obstructive (something too large is in the airway) and central (which means his brain "forgets" to tell him to breathe sometimes). The central apnea is something they can't treat, but told me that by doing his therapy it should improve the central apnea because the overall brain function would improve. He also has mild seizures. Again--all about brain funtion and the neurological system. I wonder if the tremors are something similar. All of these things are relatively common in children with significant delays.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sammysmammy</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I also just wanted to chime in here,as much of your description about your son sounds sooo familiar with what we're going through right now.<br>
Seth is 10 months(will be 11m on 26th March)doesn't sit up,not crawling,stands only with assist,only babbles dadada and other non word sounds,not feeding himself.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Hmm, we have friends who have a son about your son's age who is showing many of those same delays, esp re: sitting and standing. It was suggested that they contact a physical therapist, though she is probably going to wait to see if he is just developing on his own time frame (he's a really big boy). I was watching my son play yesterday and I really need to be grateful and appreciative of what he can do. While he doesn't have great control over his hands, he feeds himself slippery grapes and can pick up thin strings off the floor. He sits, can finally go from sitting to lunging to crawl position (where he rocks back and forth, and lifts his hand or foot, but can't get going) and back again -- and this process seems to his way of reaching things and move around the floor. So, he really can do a lot, and I need to be aware of that everyday.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sammysmammy</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The more I think about it,I'm going to hold off on the neurologist and just have my other boys OT or DT do an informal eval.We are pretty natural and non invasive as far as medical things go---and I really don't want Seth to have his head scanned,esp. more than once,if not totally necessary.I know this is all very frustrating,mainly when you don't have a "reason"or a "word" you can put on it.That's why his delays are so different for me to deal with than my other boys'--I know why they're delayed and can deal with it appropriately and utilize resources and network relating directly to Down Syndrome.I may never know why Seth is slow to reach these "milestones",but I really in my gut don't feel like it's a neuro problem.<br><br>
Sorry so long....take care<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I think that is exactly what my 'deal' is. I want to KNOW what is going on. We as mothers spend so much time reading books, looking on line, researching every burp and bump on our babies. Our culture is one that encourages moms to think that we can control everything about our children. We KNOW what to expect. And then our babies do things we don't expect, and we want to know WHY?<br>
How can I help? How can I gain control over this. While the lesson should be, we can never have control over our children. At any rate, this will be one of many, many lessons my son will teach me over the years.<br><br>
mskgandn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Peekyboo --<br><br>
I visited your blog and website. It was really nice to read about what a happy little girl Maura is, and your terrific point of view regarding her delays.<br><br>
mskgandn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>heatherdeg</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At 10 months old, they thought my son had brain damage. He's now 26 months old and doing really well. His dx is in the autism spectrum.<br><br>
I would encourage you to read "The Child With Special Needs". It will explain to you (without labels/diagnoses) how even quirks in normal children can lead to changes in how they develop. It's an excellent book.<br><br>
** I will check it out! Thanks.<br><br>
In the end, even if there is a problem--the actual diagnosis isn't going to help. We learned quickly that it didn't matter because for the most--the treatment was by the symptom, not the diagnosis. If he didn't interact with people, it really didn't matter why (so long as it wasn't a physical abnormality)--he would still have to learn XYZ skills through therapy. Does that make sense?<br><br>
** That makes perfect sense. I have this need to KNOW, to control what is happening because it is different from what I expected. I think if there is some type of diagnoses, I might 'understand' the problem and ultimately come closer to peace with it (instead of imaging the worst -- unless the worst is what we are looking at).<br><br>
And I would seriously encourage you to keep a log. The problems could be as plain as an allergy or intolerance. Keep a spiral book with the hours run down the left edge and mark all sleep, food intake, output (poopy & urine), and behavior. If you're bfing, be sure to keep the same for you (I kept mine to the far right). Start seeing if you can detect patterns. It might take a few months. I know this sounds tedious, but you get used to it really quick and even for a normal child this is a GODSEND (I know--I did it long before my ds had issues) when dealing with doctors.<br><br>
**Huh. I'm interested in this allergy/intolerance thing. Is there any kind of reading out there that talks more about this? How do allergies/intolerances cause developmental delays?<br><br>
**My son hasn't shown any huge allergy reactions (never a day of diaper rash and very seldom spitting up), though he does get mild eczema (pretty bad on his cheeks) that we have alway just thought of as dry skin, and hives from milk. He also had what seemed to be gassier than other babies (though not fussy or colicky).<br><br>
As for the shaking... it's interesting. My son has two kinds of sleep apnea: obstructive (something too large is in the airway) and central (which means his brain "forgets" to tell him to breathe sometimes). The central apnea is something they can't treat, but told me that by doing his therapy it should improve the central apnea because the overall brain function would improve. He also has mild seizures. Again--all about brain funtion and the neurological system. I wonder if the tremors are something similar. All of these things are relatively common in children with significant delays.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Whoops, some of my reply is within the quote above.<br><br>
**I think that it is the fact that his hands and arms still shake occasionally that worries me the most in terms of neurology. But at the same time, he can feed himself slippery foods, pick up strings from the floor, and grap cheerios or tiny teething tablets out of my hand. So there are times when everything seems okay.<br><br>
**Is it weird to just be wondering how much to worry? Like if it is a neurological problem that he may mature out of, fine. If it is a problem that can't be solved and he'll have to deal with it for life, fine. Can I expect him to crawl? Maybe not now, but at some point? Can I expect that he'll be able to read? Will he need therapy? It's the questions that gnaw at me.<br><br>
mskgandn
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top