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Please help me

641 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Avonlea
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Have you tried talking about why he is so upset? I know with my son if I come right out and say it he always looks so appreciative. They just don't have the words and your saying it validates his feelings. If he's missing his Dad say it: "You miss your Dad. Dad's a great guy. I wish he were home to come and give you a big hug. When he gets home, let's go to Dad and give him a big hug." And no 'buts' ("but he's not home right now") just say how you think he feels. If you must ask questions to determine what is upsetting him make them yes or no answerable questions.

And know that it is up to you to pull out of this vicious circle, the annoying child/annoyed mother/annoying child circle. Summon all of your patience (I know this is really hard) and just don't get annoyed. Take the high road. Tap into some inner calm and let the annoying behaviours run off your back. You are serene Mommy, saintly Mommy, mature Mommy, you don't participate in petty childish squabbles. With my ds after a few days of this his behaviour improves remarkably and I feel pretty damn good about myself!

You are a great Mom. We all get into these bad spots when the rest of our lives demand more than we've got. Hang in there!
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First of all=

I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this right now..I can really relate to it..ALL of it!

My son and I have reached this place before as well.and we are stilloccasionally struggling with it. I have days where I go to bed ashamed of myself all the way to my deepest inner core. I know I have hurt him, I know I could have reacted differently..and I didn't and I am sorry.

When he cries like this for his Dad, is there a way you could call your Dh on the phone OR have him call during his lunch time? Maybe a little bit of contact when is ok would help..sort of "touching base". Or would that make it worse?

What about a picture album of just daddy photos to look at and talk about?

There is also nothing wrong with admitting not only your son but also yourself that you really CAN'T deal with the emotional turmiol of his crying and let him be alone ith it sometimes. Maybe give him his glass of water and say" Mom needs to take a break..when you are done being so sad we wil talk about this".

It is SO HARD to have a new house,new baby,new staying,,,etc. I was so sad to have my mom leave but it haas also calmed down considerably too....

I am so sorry. This is not an easy time, but this too shall pass.I promise.
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Wow! I thought My Mother was the only person on the face of the earth to be insulted by her Own Daughter wanting to do laundry!

We had almost the same problem with noise as well. I usually have the tv volume set at the lowest setting, which is Mother would have it up to 15! It was awful. I did not want to be rude or hurt her, but on the other ahnd some days I just wanted to tell her that she wasw way too dan loud!

My son also started to have these power struggles with her. It started off great..and yet towards the end he would juts push and push..she kept telling me he needed spanked..and he would be upset ove something due to the fact that really he was either hungry or tired, and she would say something sarcastic about " the joy of being 3'..which made me juts so angry.

It was hard to see her falling back into some of the patterns she had with us as little kids.

I could go on, but I think you understand. She came out hre and was an incredibly great help..but I was also MORE than ready to have her go home so we could get back to "normal" for us.

Now I can turn the tv off, and relax, and wash my own clothes and load my dishwasher the "right" way...and soon and so forth.

It will get better, I promise. It just sucks in the meanwhile.

You take care!!!

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