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I am cutting and pasting a part of my post that I posted in the may o6 mamas thread, just because i dont have time to re-write it basically.<br>
My baby girl is 6 weeks old now. She is our rainbow baby and we have waited for her for so long and trust me when I say I will and do sacrifice myself for her wholly. Anything and everything I will do for her-she is my life. So for me to post this is very difficult. Its just that I am really running on empty...I have been sick with a cold on and off since she was born because I basically dont get a break for even a minute.<br><br>
here goes:<br><br>
But seriously, I am at the end of my rope. I dont know what to do. She absolutely WILL NOT under ANY circumstance allow me to put her down. We have tried EVERYTHING. SHe wants to be held, period. And i really cant deal anymore. Well i just tried to put her down as she fell asleep in my arms, but she is awake 3 min later and now crying.<br><br>
I cannot let her cio. I never will. So I am doomed.<br><br>
I am at the point of trying a pacifier though initially I was totally against it, as is my VERY AP pediatrician.<br><br>
So far the ONLY thing that will make her go to sleep and STAY asleep is<br>
having her in the AMAZING Babyhawk carrier (which was a gift from May 06 sweetheart mamas, who remember me losing our angel baby).<br><br>
But, here is the deal-there are times when i need her OFF me. There just are those times.<br><br><b>If anyone has any suggestions/thoughts/insight/ideas/similar experience, they will all be appreciated.</b> I dont know if I will be replying but I will be reading.<br><br>
EDITING TO ADD THAT ALMOST ALL OF THOSE TIMES THAT SHE WANTS TO BE HELD SHE WANTS TO BE SUCKING/SUCKLING. I AM FINE WITH ON DEMAND NURSING, BUT SERIOUSLY WHEN SHE HAS BEEN SUCKING FOR WELL OVER AN HOUR AND I NEED TO PUT HER DOWN, I FEEL SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO KEEP HERSELF HAPPY FOR AT LEAST 10 STINKING MINUTES! BUT NO! What on earth am I doing wrong??? I didnt have any of this with my first...<br><br>
also adding that she is gaining weight properly, i dont eat any dairy...quite often at night she is colicky with gas pains but that i deal with as a given. but now the fussy behaviour is ALL DAY LONG. UNLESS she is being held.<br><br>
love to all<br><br>
ILMS
 

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First off, you are not alone by any means. I have been there and a number of others have been as well. i called my baby the "growth" because he was literally on me every hour of every day. He wouldn't go to my husband because like you said, he wanted to nurse - all the time. It is a blur now. He is 7 months and although still a little demanding.....wants momma, he can sit and entertain himself fo a while - 10 minutes or so. He laughs at me and plays with me. You will be okay and Sofie is a normal baby. Wear her. Trust me, this too shall pass, and you will not remember this. Ask your dh to help, take her for a walk, wear her himself, something to help YOU. Paci's are fine. My ds never took one, but if she will - do it. She is much too young to CIO,although IMO, any age is too young. She wouldn't understand anyway. She NEEDS you, and she NEEDS to suckle. If it helps for you to realize these are her NEEDS. You can do it...one minute at a time.<br>
Blessings,
 

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Will she let herself be held by others? Dh? That was the key for me. But there were definitely times that dd nursed for hours straight too.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7979513"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Will she let herself be held by others? Dh? That was the key for me. But there were definitely times that dd nursed for hours straight too.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
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Ditto. That was the ONLY way I could not hold DD2, if there were another pair of arms to hold her so I could shower or something. My mom would come over and hold her so I could pay some bills or something. She is 6 months old now and still loves to be held for most of the day, but for 10 minutes here and there, I can put her down with a couple toys. Hang in there.
 

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I think there are some good books on parenting the high needs baby...<br><br>
Another thing to look at though, is could it be reflux? The pain of reflux starts around 4 weeks of age usually, and it can cause problems with laying down. Does she arch her back in pain? If you google reflux, you'll probably find lots of info. Both my boys had reflux, and I actually managed to get both of them off meds when I used probiotics (given to DS#1 straight, and given to me for DS#2 - it goes through breastmilk). My babies come a bit early (ok, DS#1 was alot early <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ), and I think that contributes to their reflux.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Peony</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7979548"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ditto. That was the ONLY way I could not hold DD2, if there were another pair of arms to hold her so I could shower or something. My mom would come over and hold her so I could pay some bills or something. She is 6 months old now and still loves to be held for most of the day, but for 10 minutes here and there, I can put her down with a couple toys. Hang in there.</div>
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Ditto for me too. DD was just like this for the first few months, and then it did pass.<br><br>
One thing I wish I had done when I didn't have a family member to help hold her, is hire a mother's helper--maybe a high school or college student to come over and just hold her while I sat down and got a break. I would still be right there, but could get a few minutes to myself.
 

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We called Layla leech. I wasn't able to put her down for a nap until she was almost a year. Oh and a sheepskin was crucial to this. there does seem to be some magic in them somehow. I was worried that she would never crawl/walk. But you know, she will be three in a few weeks and she is an extra special child. I think back on the craziness though. I wish someone would have been able to tell me that I would have loved her as much as I do now. That was the hardest part for me, because she was on me so much I really had a hard tiime bonding with her. I figured that I would never bond with her and sh would always be my leech. But if there was some way to express my joy and love for her now...<br>
But the only thing that helped her was a wrap. I soon could do just about anything with her wrapped. My dh could wrap her every once in awhile. I actually got a boouncer and a swing, neither worked. But maybe if you know someone who has one, so you could try? I am not fond of them, but to get 10 or so minutes here and there..
 

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Sounds like she wants to suck, I would do a paci ASAP! Also, do you swaddle? Maybe she wants to be held beacsue she feels really tight and secure. I woudl try a paci, shhing in her ear and a swaddle.
 

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Can you borrow a swing to see if it works? Both my DDs loved theirs at least some of the time. Also I know how you feel being sick. DD2 is almost 4 weeks old and I have been sick all but maybe 4 or 5 days so far.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/fever.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Fever">:<br><br>
I hope you find a solution and you feel better soon!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nigellas</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7980357"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This is so normal, and I PROMISE - It gets better. (((HUGS)))</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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ok this will be a bit disorganized-got baby on my lap<br><br>
I am pretty sure she does not have reflux. I looked it up and she doesnt have any of the symptoms.<br><br>
we did borrow a swing to try-she HATES it. and so do i- the position she has to be in to sit there seems so unnatural.<br><br>
she also hates the bouncy chair.<br><br>
it does sound like she needs to suck. the paci's have been bought and are about to be sterilized.<br><br>
*crossing fingers*<br><br>
Wild Flowers- what you said makes so much sense...thankfully Luca is not my first. Because Sofie is already 4.5 i KNOW how much Im going to end up loving Luca. So at least thats not the problem-i am totally bonded with her and not scared of not further bonding.<br><br>
And yes, with her in a carrier i can get things done too. But the problem here is that sometimes, just for 5 or 10 minutes i need her OFF me. Completely off me. For sanity, not even talking shower.<br><br>
As far as family members holding her-sadly there arent any in the country, all live very far away. Its just me and DH. He is going to start wearing her from this point on-he did today and it was a big help.
 

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Was it a back and forth swing or a side to side cradle-style swing? Someone lent us a travel swing, and my daughter hated it, but she loved the cradle-style motion. She also liked the motion of the Amby hammock. She also took a paci from a few weeks until about 8 weeks when she decided she was done, and that plus the swing or vibrating chair worked well. But those were for things like eating, peeing, or showering, and most of the time she was on a person, either me or my husband. We had to get good at different carriers quickly to get anything done. If there's a NINO group or a La Leche League chapter near you, you might be able to get access to trying out or borrowing different carriers to make things easier. I found a wrap the easiest.<br><br>
Keep trying things out, I hope you find something and get a break soon!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rosehill</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7980349"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds like she wants to suck, I would do a paci ASAP! Also, do you swaddle? Maybe she wants to be held beacsue she feels really tight and secure. I woudl try a paci, shhing in her ear and a swaddle.</div>
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second that!
 

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One way that sometimes my DS will be OK not being held is to lay him down beside/ontop of a hotwater bottle, so that theres something else warm next to him. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps to keep him occupied for at least 15-30mins so I can jump in the shower or grab something to eat...
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rosehill</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7980349"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds like she wants to suck, I would do a paci ASAP! Also, do you swaddle? Maybe she wants to be held beacsue she feels really tight and secure. I woudl try a paci, shhing in her ear and a swaddle.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Nothing AT ALL wrong with a paci... babies need to suck, some really respond to a paci, and if it is going to restore your sanity, go for it and don't look back. I know exactly what you mean about wanting the baby OFF you. Do you have a friend who could come and hold her sometimes, or someone from church or something?<br><br>
My dd LOVED her pacis. They were so soothing to her. She didn't have them forever and it wasn't even hard for her to give them up.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> i know what u r going through my son was and still is the same way what saved me in and still does is my moby wrap i can breastfed in it and it gives him the closeness of tummy to tummy and my arms r free and i cook clean and even potty with him attched to me and i only take him out when he needs a diaper change lol than put him right back in<br><br>
but sence he has been crawling he doesnt want to be carried as much but their r still times when he wont let me put him down and than i pull out the wrap<br><br>
ayah
 

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I had similar experiences with RObin - I remember eating every meal standing up at the kitchen counter like someone was about to take the food away from me, while DH held her. One of us had to hold her at all times. It turned out she did have reflux, and once we figured that out it got much better.<br><br>
DONT feel bad about the paci's. I would never encourage using them just for kicks, but to sooth a high needs baby, that's what they are for! RObin used one for a few months, then she was over it.<br><br>
If you can get her asleep in the sling, this was my trick: nurse her until she's asleep, then pop her off and into the sling (she'd stir when popped off, then settle when I'd get moving in the sling). Once she was actually hard asleep in the sling, I'd gently and slowly lay her down and sneak myself out of the sling - so she was still bundled up in it and had the warmth and smell of me. This especially worked if I settled her into a bean bag chair - I could make a nook that kept her snuggled and semi-upright, closer to how I carry her.<br><br>
Also, does she like vibration? Does your bouncy seat have vibration? If she likes that, you can also try a bassinet with vibration. We borrowed SIL's and it has a "snooze button" that gives gentle vibration for a few minutes.<br><br>
Also, to put her down for a few minutes at the time, I would try putting her on her side or tummy.<br><br>
ANd last tip - try laying down and nursing her in bed, then when she goes to sleep, sneak away from her - then she doesn't move and might stay down a bit longer. If the paci's work, you can just trade out your nipple for a paci. I would smush blankets up against her body to similate the feeling that she was still snuggling with me.<br><br>
Oh, and a last tip = our babes are getting old enough to actually see things - If you want to put her down when she's awake, make sure she has a mogile or playgym or something to look at. Ceiling fans can work wonders.<br><br>
Good luck and many hugs. Parenting 2 is NO joke
 

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have you tried laying the baby down with your older child? its the only way i could get a minute without the baby (even getting dressed) when my second was little. he would even ocassionally sleep (for 5 or 10 minutes) if i laid him down with his brother. it only worked for a few minutes, but a few minutes here and there really help.
 

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DP wears DS every evening and all the time on weekends, and it's a total lifesaver. I actually didn't wear him at all until a few days before DP had to go back to work (and he's been in a carrier every day since he's been born). Women are NOT meant to parent alone - if all you have is your DH, then every time he's around and she needs to be held but isn't actively eating, get him to wear her (then, since he needs to be up and moving anyway, he can make dinner <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">). That way she gets to be held and to know him and his style of parenting, he gets to have some awesome snuggling time, and you get a desperately needed break. And although I think most babies really don't need pacifiers, and they shouldn't be the ubiquitous baby accessories our society treats them as, sometimes they're necessary for a parent's sanity, as long as you're using it judiciously, and not just to "plug her up" (I know you won't!). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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