Please remind me why I'm doing this?

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Umm I have that child : however keep in mind all kids are diffrent, and mine is young (20 months) s tommorow I could be singing a diffrent tune, Tantrums are very rare in our house and when they occur they last maybe 20 seconds tops. and there more of a whinning type no all out screaming, yes she cries sometimes heck shes only 20 months but is super easy to console. She does almost anything I ask of her "as long as its age appropiate for her" so If I say leave the lights alone, or please don't climb on that ect she stops. I can trust her with crayons, safety sissors ect "within reason", she doesn't hit or kick me and so far has restrained her self with other kids. (no sibbling yet) Bedtime is a cinch a kiss good night no crying, no getting out of bed (shes in a toddler bed and I don'r even bother to close the door anymore) Now she doesn't always eat whats on her plate, but she doesn't throw food and sits "quietly" through a meal... Jealous yet? LOL
Well guess what I have never struck my child , no spanking, no hand slaps, squeezing, pinching ect.. I have never raised my voice above a firm no even that is only when there is danger and I need her to imediently stop for safety reasons. We don't use formal timeouts or other "traditional punishments" We teach by example, lots of redirrection, repeation, talking, ect.
I just want to say GD does work have faith in what you are doing because It does work.

Deanna

I, too, would like a child like that - what heaven! Seriously, do you know any like that? Do you think I could borrow them? At least for a night or so ?

My sister and her husband even more so parent in a very authoritarian way - the way you describe. Her children, 4 and 6 are defiant, aggressive, unpleasant, very angry, dangerous children to be around. Much more so than any child I've met that is GD'd, even if the parents are on the low side of GD.

Actually, the whole family is unpleasant to be around with all the warning about spankings, actual spankings, and quite of bit of yelling and threats going on.

When I start to doubt or get frustrated, I try to do an emotional check-in. What kind of atmosphere do I want to create in my house and family? How do I want my child to feel over the long-haul (day to day is sometimes much more difficult)? Do I want my child to be scared of me, which most children are who are parented that way, or do I want her to love and cuddle with me and share her thoughts, problems, and her life?

Now . . .if you could just send that perfect child over to Florida pronto, I will be happy to "parent" them !

i'm packing her up
http://img33.photobucket.com/albums/...t=P1010030.jpg

Deanna

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*Possibly easier when the kids are small. Easier, but not better.

What happens when the kids are too big to spank? And they know it?!

GD can be much, much tougher than authoritarian parenting. Takes a *lot more work to stay connected and work through problems together than it does to achieve obedience through fear and pain. But it is so worth!

Sounds like you and ds are having a really miserable time right now. Has something changed to trigger his behavior? Hugs for your, mama, and your little guy too (((hugs))))