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My dad, his gf and her little brat of a 12 year old son came by today, my dad was instaling a ceiling fan in out bedroom(ahh bliss btw) and he had one of those current checkers to make sure hes not going to get shocked, well the 12 year old was playing with it put it against my stomach and of course it didnt beep or anything and he goes "oh well the babys dead!", and started laughing! then his mom actually giggled, i told my dad what he said when he came in the room and my dad of course was disgusted but put in a very wierd spot. My husband says to let it go but im really upset by the comment and of course my mind starts wondering maybe the baby is dead and i dont know! I dont know if i should bring the comment up to my dad again or just let it go?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>caiesmommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11608822"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My dad, his gf and her little brat of a 12 year old son came by today, my dad was instaling a ceiling fan in out bedroom(ahh bliss btw) and he had one of those current checkers to make sure hes not going to get shocked, well the 12 year old was playing with it put it against my stomach and of course it didnt beep or anything and he goes "oh well the babys dead!", and started laughing! then his mom actually giggled, i told my dad what he said when he came in the room and my dad of course was disgusted but put in a very wierd spot. My husband says to let it go but im really upset by the comment and of course my mind starts wondering maybe the baby is dead and i dont know! I dont know if i should bring the comment up to my dad again or just let it go?</div>
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sweetie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s Just let it go, dead to a 12 year old is different the dead to an adult, especially and anxious first trimester mom who doesn't know how this pregnancy is going<br><br>
you're fine, your baby is alive and well sit down and meditate and feel your baby and you'll be ok.
 

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I know how easy it is to let your mind wonder when things like that are said. My nephew said something like "Aunt is not having any more babies." right when I got pregnant. I was like "What if he's right and there is something wrong with the baby?"<br><br>
That said, the kid is a kid. The Mom is an a$$ and should have said something to him about it being inappropriate. I understand it hurting!
 

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Your baby is doing great... I think the baby's getting ready to wiggle the toes right now to let you know everything is okay inside, but you can't feel it because he is still pretty tiny. Everything is okay. Trust me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> People.. ugh.<br><br>
I woulda taken the thing and put on his head and when it didn't beep I would said "Hey, you've got no brain! You're stupid!" His mom woulda laughed at that too right?<br><br>
But I'm mean like that. Especially when someone makes stupid jokes about the unborn baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Awww <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am so sorry he said that to you. But I too am sure your baby is just fine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>quietserena</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11615950"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> People.. ugh.<br><br>
I woulda taken the thing and put on his head and when it didn't beep I would said "Hey, you've got no brain! You're stupid!"</div>
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Except for the last part ("You're stupid" is non-productive) I think that sounds like the perfect response.<br><br>
Either that or cry at him. Most likely, he'd be horrified and realize that his actions/words have consequences.<br><br>
I'm sure he didn't mean anything about it, just a dumb kid joke. It's very unlikely he even understood what he said, certainly not the implications. Pregnancy is a very vague concept at his age, too.
 

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I couldn't hold back even in what is for me a hypothetical situation. I should know better. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hide.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hide">: I blame the hormones.
 

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I teach 12 year olds. It's a great age for turning the tables, asking them to work a little bit at having empathy, using right speech, smoothing things out after social blunders, etc. But it sounds like your dad's gf is encouraging rather than redirecting these adolescent social missteps. Too bad for the boy--sounds like a great learning opportunity was missed.<br><br>
You know, I might bring it up with him again. Him, not your dad. I might call or go over, have a real sit-down, say that your feelings were hurt, tell him how much everyone was looking forward to <i>him</i> coming when he was in utero, and how devastating it was for you to think of a dead baby. You could ask him to be more respectful of your feelings, and to help you by thinking of the baby as healthy, active, and growing to be born in January. You might then talk to your dad and tell him what you said, and ask your dad to kind of back you up.<br><br>
The boy might blow you off, but I bet somewhere that conversation would stick in his mind. And you might feel better for letting your feelings be known.
 
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