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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DD is almost five months old. I'm sure this is related to teething, or finding her feet, or rolling over or some other upcoming milestone, but I just cannot do this.

She used to be an excellent sleeper, going for a good three to four hours, eating and then going right back out. For the past week or so, though, all she wants, all night long, is my boob in her mouth. And she's not content to just lay there and nurse, otherwise, I'd just happily fall asleep, myself. No, she wants to lay there, nurse, pull off, whine, latch back on, smack my face, pull off and whine, latch back on, kick me for a while, fall asleep, wake back up when she pops off, crying, etc etc etc

And this goes on ONCE AN HOUR ALL NIGHT LONG. Last night, I really and seriously, for hte first time ever, contemplated putting her in her crib in the other room, trning off the baby monitor and shutting my door. She's not eating because she's hungry. I know that because, first of all, when she is hungry, she's like a baby on a mission, and second of all, she overfills herself overnight and ends up puking all over herself, me, the bed, and the dog if he happens to be in the general vicinity.

I can't nap with her during the day, I'm WAHMing and WOHMing, so there are days I'm here, but I"m working, and days that I'm gone and working. One way or the other I"m working. She's with me all day, except for about four hours three days a week, and I haven't noticed those nights to be any worse than the days we're together all day.

I.am.so.tired.

Anyone? Help? Suggestions? Encouragement? A shotgun?
 

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I was just about to post the same kind of question. DD is 9 1/2 months now, and has only slept through the night (6 hours) ONCE, and only because she was truly exhausted from going a whole day without napping. A couple of months ago she would sleep for 4 hours, then wake every 2, but for the past two weeks she has been waking up every hour to nurse. Everyone I know is telling me to let her cry it out, that I'm encouraging her to wake up by breastfeeding her in our bed instead of letting her "soothe herself to sleep" in her own crib, that CIO really works, yadda, yadda, yadda... And I've been SO tired that I've actually considered doing it,
:

I was just going to post something along the lines of, "Please remind me why I should not choose CIO". Thanks for posting your story, it helps to remind me why I choose to stay sleep deprived and not let my baby cry.
 

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Thank you for posting that story. Wow.

As for why CIO isn't the right thing to do: Well, how do you feel when your babe is crying? Do you want your babe to trust you? Does leaving someone alone to cry foster trust and love? Someday when you're older, maybe you won't be able to do things for yourself, maybe someone will have to help you. How would you feel if the person who was supposed to be caring for you told you things like, "Oh, you're not thirsty, you just had a drink. You're not hungry, you just ate an hour ago. You're not cold/hot/lonely/etc."

Those are the things I think about when the going gets tough, and it does get tough, doesn't it? Hang in there, mamas.

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)
 

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Another way that I look at it is this:
if your DH/SO was feeling upset, would you ignore him? He is an adult, has more than one way of communicationg, AND has the ability to fix some of the situation himself. Your child has none of those things. His or her communication skills are still very basic and if he is telling you he needs something - you need to respond. Sometimes he might be communicating that he is tired - and your response might be holding and rocking him while he cries if nothing else will help. But to ignore the need - what will that teach your chid about trusting others?
 

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I won't post to talk you out of CIO, the pp have done a good job of giving reasons why CIO is a lousy idea. I did want to offer a suggestion that some might be opposed to, but I felt similarly crazed with a nonstop sucker for a while so I did it.....

A pacifier. If she's sucking for comfort (which is totally normal, and some babies need to suck more than others, I had one), and it's making you lose sleep, be cranky, and start to resent her, that's not a good thing. Nurse her to bed, if she wakes up shortly after try giving her a pacifier instead, then if she wakes up a couple hours later nurse her again cause she likely is hungry then...I'm NOT saying to nightwean or anything, she's awfully young still, just maybe give yourself a break a couple times a night if it seems to be nonstop sucking going on. You're not a horrible person for not wanting your child latching on and off your boob all night.

Just consider it as an alternative, because no matter what anyone says, a pacifier a couple times at night is better than CIO, and if you're getting frustrated enough to be thinking about CIO, she'll sense that and probably want to pull closer, which will make you more frustrated...and though sacrificing and enduring discomfort is part of what a mother does, when it starts to interfere with your waking hours and your feelings towards your child, then you need to look at some alternatives. I've been there.

I slept upright in a rocking chair for a month holding DS through 2 ear infections followed by strep throat, as that was the only way he was comfortable. He would nap only on me or touching me in some form for his first 13 months....he went through the teething/growth spurt deal at about 6 months, and I slept holding him every night for months. Just wanted to be clear that I am not a mom who just tosses her kid a pacifier and says, deal with it yourself, and I do NOT believe in CIO at ALL.

BUT, I am a mother who realizes that I need to be well rested and feel well to be a good mom, and me walking around like a zombie with no patience is not good for anyone. Something has to give. So, I give him a pacifier sometimes. It's not the end of the world. He was and is continuing to thrive and has never had any issues with weight gain or food issues, so it was just another tool in my toolbelt.

Good luck!
 

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I have had a "high needs" babe from day one as well. I *tried* CIO for like 30 seconds when she was about 3-4 months old.
: I honestly don't remmeber what age since I was so sleep deprived at that pont! I just couldn't do it. It went against every fiber of my being as a mother to let her cry like that. I felt so terrible that I just cried and cried even though it lasted like 5 minutes - tops. I have never felt like a more terrible person for not repsonding to my baby. Please do not CIO with your child. I understand how hard it is when you feel like you are at the end of your rope - I really do - but know in your heart you are doing a good thing by repsonding to your baby and being there or them. Take care and know we are all here for you!
 

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APMom98- I read your story and cried! I am not even considering CIO but was frustrated that my 10 week old ds will only sleep on me when he *used* to sleep in the co-sleeper etc. at least for a little while. He was also doing a 5 hour stretch for a week or so at night and just dropped that as well. Tiring it is- especially with a 2yo! I would say that if he was only one then it would be OK- but if memory serves- I went through this w/dd at around this time and was still frustrated...short of the long- your post reminded me to just relax and trust my baby and his needs. After all dd sleeps through the night now and it's only 2 years later!

Hold on with me ladies. It's just a blip of time- it's tough and frustrating...but I believe it IS worth it!

Traci
 

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It sounds like you have considered that your baby is in pain or uncomfortable... have you explored this more? A baby that is unhappy because she is hurting can become really fussy and do a lot of what you are saying here. I would look into it... To me, it sounds like "something else is going on". Pain, discomfort, daytime stress or anxiety, developmental milestone, etc.

With that in mind, directly responding to thoughts of CIO, it makes no sense to leave a baby crying of discomfort or stress to be alone (or any crying baby for that matter- they need something. That is why they are crying/fussing). It doesn't teach anything, and essentially, it is just ignoring her as she asks for help. She is asking in the only way she knows how.

I know it sucks. Man, we've all been there- deep in the land of No Sleep. But I can say, you work through it. I remember just not being able to fathom if DS developed ANOTHER night waking. I actually wrote to MDC here with a new first-time-mother plea of help for my sanity and got and answer like I am writing now (
). Well, he did and we got through it. But in reality, it was kind of like hitting a "runner's wall"... when joggers think they can't go another step and will fall down flat on their faces, but they keep plugging and then find a new rhythm and a second burst of energy and come to terms with their situation and suddenly, it's not so hard again. It's like that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you everyone; that is all exactly what I needed to hear.


I could not get her to sleep for anything last night, and finally gave up and handed her over to my husband, who cuddled with her for a half an hour while she yelled and cried and then finally gave in. She doesn't seem to be in any pain or discomfort, just MAD. She didn't even want to eat last night.

But, once she fell asleep she slept for two hours and then barely woke up to eat, and then only woke up once more. I feel like a new woman today.

It's amazing how strong our emotions get at 3:30am when we haven't slept for a few days, huh? Thank you all, again for your support and encouragement. I'm hoping out nighttime issues are over for a little while, at least.
 
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