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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm pretty desperate for some good news, or just honest experiences. My DD is 26 months and I am 24 weeks pregnant. I've never wanted to wean her. Always planned on child-led weaning for my babies. And when I got pregnant was excited about tandem nursing. But for weeks now, I can't stand nursing. It actually ticks me off to nurse. I don't like the feeling, I don't like her little hands all over my boob while she's nursing, I don't like any part of it. But I burst into tears every time I think about weaning. I don't want to wean but at the same time I'm so afraid that once her brother comes I won't start enjoy nursing her again and I'll wean her anyway and then she'll feel resentment toward her brother because the change comes when he does. So I guess my main question is, if you hated nursing while you were pregnant did you enjoy nursing your toddler again as soon as those crazy pregnancy feelings were gone? Did you enjoy tandem nursing? I am also as dry as the desert and wondering when I will get some colstrum (SP?) in so that it's not just dry nursing. I know if I wean I'll regret it but at the same time I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 16 weeks. Help please!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm nursing a 3 month old and a 23 month old right now; it <b>does</b> get better!<br><br>
The best thing I did was set enough limits around nursing while pregnant that I could maintain my sanity. I promised myself that my son would get to nurse at least once a day, and if that was all I could do that was okay. I know I risked encouraging him to wean that way, but if I hadn't done it I would haven't been able to keep nursing him. Finding things to distract myself was incredibly important; if I could keep my mind on something else it was easier.<br><br>
I got colustrum around 30ish weeks or so, and that helped.<br><br>
I still don't enjoy nursing my older son as much as I did before I got pregnant, but it was definitely worth it, for both of us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I had a hard time with nursing during pregnancy--creepy crawly feelings, painful nipples, the whole nine yards--but tandem nursing has been great. I am getting ready to wean my almost-four year old (mother-led) but by the time he weans we will have been tandem nursing for about 19 months.<br><br>
I did find that I had to set some limits--I reached the point where I had to tell my oldest "no touching." He used to fidget with my breasts a lot, poke them with his fingertips, and that started to drive me nuts--so I made a "rule" that he could only lay his hand flat on my breast while nursing, otherwise hands off. Once he adjusted to that restriction, I was fine and I'm really glad that I kept going...tandem nursing has its precious moments and is totally worth it (IMO).<br><br>
Oh, and during the most painful parts of pregnancy, I started "counting." I would say, "You can nurse until I count to twenty-five, and then we'll be all done." He was usually okay with this but if I sensed that he really wanted to keep nursing, I was okay with changing my mind/counting slooowlly/adding to the number.<br><br>
Hope that helps.
 

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just a quick minute but wanted to post<br>
i had similar feelings nursing my 20 month old during pregnancy<br>
dd2 was born when dd1 was 21m old and we tandemed for about 8 months<br>
it DOES get better, i really enjoyed nursing both, they were very special bonding times between the 3 of us and the icky feelings i had nursing during pregnancy all disappeared.<br>
hang in there! it really is special and worth it....
 

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Passionate*Mama, I am in the exact same boat! I feel like I could have written a very similar post. I had decided two days ago to completely wean my 23 mo old DS (I am also 24 weeks pregnant) and we tried no nursing at all yesterday. He cried so hard at bedtime that I gave in and we nursed. I did set some limits on it, though. For example, we only nurse in the rocking chair, not in the bed and he seemed ok with that. Then I woke up this morning and started second guessing my decision and we have already nurse three times today. I don't really want to wean, but I am going nuts nursing too. I'm glad to hear it does get better, because I had really wanted to tandem nurse. I hope it works out for you too!
 

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I got pregnant when my DS was 14mo. I absolutely hated nursing him during the second and third trimesters of my pregnancy. I couldn't stand him touching me and just the feel of him nursing was irritating. I was totally back to normal once the baby was born. I actually wanted to nurse my oldest again. He was wonderful! If one nipple was tender because of the baby or really painfully full, my oldest was great. He knew how to be gentle and would take as much milk as I had. I actually enjoyed nursing him again.<br><br>
We have been tandem nursing for 5 months now and it's fine. I don't mind it, but it's not as wonderful as it was the first month. It's just what we do and everyone is happy with the relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
THANK YOU!! These replies really lifted my spirits!! It's good to know that pushing through will bring joy again to nursing. I do set limits and while she still nurses a handful of times during the day it's for very short periods of time. And if I can't stand nursing her long enough at night to get her to sleep I will nurse as long as I can and then rock her to sleep and that seems to be ok with her although it does take a long time.<br><br>
I can't seem to get her to stop touching. I'll tell her that she can't touch or we will have to be all done, and I follow through but she just won't stop doing it, hopefully I can keep working on that part.<br><br>
Keep these posts coming! It helps so much!
 

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DS would tug to try to get milk out when I was pg - ouch! The colostrum started at around 24 weeks and he finally had a couple swallowfulls. So, though not perfect, his tugging did stop and it got better.<br><br>
Tandem nursing was super easy once I figured out I had to assign sides. My son is rather spirited and I was worried about what would happen when DD was born. I had discussed that babies can only have "breastfeeds" and talked about all he could eat as well. I also told him that I would make more breastmilk than he could possibly drink after baby was born. The trasition to tandem nursing as well as the transition to no longer an only child, was ridiculousy easy! I think DS viewed DD as the creature who brought him more "breastfeeds."<br><br>
I tandem nursed for 25 months. I'm currently 19.5 weeks pg and still nursing DD. She doesn't pull and get impatient like DS did so it's been a lot easier to nurse her while I'm pg.<br><br>
*I did get touched out - AFTER I stopped tandem nursing. My son is very high touch needs. When the breastfeeding stopped, he needed his hands all over me even more. I never felt touched out by the breastfeeding, just by DS's hands all over me once he was weaned!
 

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I had a lot of trouble with frustrated angry feelings while nursing during pregnancy, and was shocked that minutes after giving birth I was nursing my nb and my dh brought our 18 mo ds in and he asked to nurse and the feeling was gone!!! Nursing them felt great! I love tandem nursing, it's so wonderful. I love when ds holds his tiny brothers hand and pats his back, I love that I can meet both of their needs at any given time, and I love that they are both getting mama milk.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> hang in there mama, you can do it!!!
 

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Gee....I too could have written your post! It's encouraging to know it can get better. I am indifferent to weather or not my dd weans, but I know she will not. So we'll take a try at tandem nursing also. Right now she really only nurses 2-3 times a day. It's incredibly annoying and painful, especially if she falls asleep nursing.....she will not let go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
I just hope she is able to "share" I suppose that is my biggest concern.
 

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wow. i am apparently in the minority. Nursing my daughter during the second half of my pregnancy was really hard, but it got about 10x worse once the baby was born. The first 3 months were hellish every time my DD wanted to nurse (nursing my ds was no biggie). It was horrible and though I had planned to wait 3 or 5 years and have two more in quick succession, i have changed my mind now. I can't see ever tandem nursing again and I feel like it really messed up my relationship with my DD. I wish I had weaned her while I was still pregnant.<br><br>
That said - My son's over a year old now, and my DD still nurses once in a while. It's gotten down to like once every 3 weeks or so, now, though. It doesn't really bother me to nurse her anymore beyond the bad associations formed during my son's newborn period. If you can fight through the first few months, it's do-able. But, honestly, I wouldn't want to do it again. The only time I could see doing that again is if I had two children that would be 18months or less apart, i guess... and I wouldn't be happy about it.<br><br>
Sucks, though, because I was really looking foward to tandem nursing being a lovely experience. I felt completely taken by surprise by how bad the irritating feelings were once the baby was born because I had heard so many good stories, you know? That probably made things worse, I guess.
 

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You really need to read Adventures in Tandem Nursing. I was having a really hard time with the same sensations you're describing, what she calls "breastfeeding agitation" in the book. I was getting so resentful about nursing, then guilty for being resentful. Reading that book made me feel so okay with nature running its course and accepting what happens. We set some boundaries, and DS is nursing a LOT less than he was (1-3 times a day for about 2 mintues at a time), but I'm a lot more okay with it than I was before reading that book. I will do everything I can to encourage him to nurse frequently again after his sister is born, but if it doesn't feel right, I'll just have to force myself to let it go and not feel guilty about it. I've given him so much more than most of his peers ever get, and that's a lot to be proud of.
 
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