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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please, no criticism from anyone who believes we are making the wrong choice.<br><br>
I am 18 weeks pregnant. My husband and I just found out that our baby girl has trisomy 18, which is usually fatal within several days after birth. There are additional factors related to the baby's condition and the condition of my placenta and uterus that mean she will not make it to term. We have scheduled a D&E for Monday, and I was just wondering if anyone has any experience with a second trimester termination that they'd be willing to share. I know what the procedure entails on a basic level, but I still feel like I don't really know what I'm getting into. Feel free to PM me if you don't want to share publicly. Any information at all is useful.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Noria, I'm so very sorry.<br><br><br>
I didn't have a D & E but several doctors wanted me to when I was facing the aftermath of pProm. They described it to me like this...<br><br><br>
I would be in a major hospital in a unit where only pregnancy terminations were being done. I would be given a choice to have doses of Valum as needed to make me as out of it as I desired as I was checked in and was prepped. When it was time, I would be given a general and then I would be taken into the room where the operation was going to be done. Afterwards, I would be offered more valum and then throughout the next week it would be my choice how 'aware' I wanted to be.<br><br>
I'm so sorry you are having to go down this path.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Nora <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
Never been through a second trimester D&E but just wanted to give you HUGE hugs and support from your DDC and a fellow loss mama. This is the club no one ever wants to join, so I won't say "welcome" but I will say that I hope you find as much support and love here as I have. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I am so sad for you, your DH and your tiny baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> These decisions are so hard, and no one can possibly know what is best for US as mothers. I am glad that you and your husband seem to have come to a decision that is best for you in this horrible situation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Please post as much as you need. We are here.<br><br>
Claire
 

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I haven't had a D&E, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle">
 

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I'm not sure how different a 2nd trimester D&C is as opposed to a 1st. I've had 2nd trimester losses and 4 D&Cs, but not a D&C for a baby measuring in the 2nd trimester.<br><br>
Here's what my experience was.<br><br>
I had pre-op bloodwork to make sure my counts were high enough for surgery. Fasted for 8 hours. Arrived at the hospital a couple hours beforehand. Did the pre-op paperwork, vitals and anti-nausea meds. Changed into a gown and thick socks. Got taken down to the pre-op room and waited in the bed for the anesthesiologist. Signed more paperwork. Had an IV started. Saw my OB then wheeled into OR where there were very warm and compassionate OR nurses waiting for me. Scooted over to the operating table. Had mask put on face and drifted off into sleep.<br><br>
Woke up in recovery and cried. I was scared and a bit sore. Once I came out of the anesthesia the recovery nurse had me pee. If I couldn't get up to pee, she brought me a bedpan.<br><br>
Sent home about an hour after the procedure with antibiotics to take, Tylenol 3s and a post-op brochure of things to watch out for.<br><br>
Nora, I'm so angry for you. No one should ever have to go through this.
 

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I'm so sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I have no experience to offer you as to a second trimester D&E. But I can give you lots of hugs. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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Dear Nora,<br><br>
First off, I am so very sorry that you're going through this.<br><br>
I found myself in a similar situation last year with my first pregnancy. Being an older mama I had a CVS test and the results came back positive for triploidy, another chromosome abnormality incompatible with life. I was just beginning the second trimester. My OB didn't encourage me to have a D&E but she did make it very clear that my poor baby had no chance at life outside the womb, which helped make a heartbreaking decision a little easier.<br><br>
The night before my surgery my OB prescribed Cytotec tablets for me to insert vaginally. They help soften the cervix so it's easier to open. I also had to fast for eight hours. The morning of, my husband and I went to the surgery center and I was taken to a prep room where I put on socks and a robe. An anesthesiologist came by to start an IV and ask if I had any allergies to anesthesia. A nurse had me sign some release forms. Everyone was very kind and compassionate. I held it together until my OB showed up, at which point I burst into tears. They gave me a little Valium to help calm my nerves and then wheeled me into the operating room. I got onto the table, the anesthesiologist put the mask over my face and the next thing I knew I was waking up with my husband at my side.<br><br>
Immediately after the procedure I felt a little shaky and sore. They gave me some more Valium and I rested for about an hour. When I was ready to go they gave me a pad for my panties, prescriptions for antibiotics and pain killers (Motrin and Vicodin) and a list of warning signs/precautions. My husband helped me dress and we headed home. Aside from a little cramping and spotting I felt physically okay within 48 hours.<br><br>
I'm torn over what to say next. As I'm sure you've already guessed, the surgery is the "easy part". No one can prepare you for the roller coaster of emotions that come after, not only the ones you might expect like grief, guilt and anger but also hope and faith and the courage to try again. If I could offer you any advice, it would be to embrace all of it, in your own way and in your own time and lean heavily on loved ones, especially your husband, who will most likely be feeling somewhat helpless and frightened.<br><br>
These may sound like hollow words but I truly believe that it's only your daughter's broken body that will pass. Her soul will always live in your heart.<br><br>
Take care,<br>
Nicolle
 

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Thinking about you Nora and hoping everything went as well as it could yesterday.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Just thought I'd respond to this thread in case someone is looking for information about this in the future. The day before yesterday, I had laminaria insertion. The laminaria look just like little tiny green tampons. The OB gave me a shot of lidocaine into the cervix first, which truly does not hurt as much as it sounds like it would. The laminaria insertion was pretty uncomfortable, I won't lie, but it was bearable and didn't take too long. She was able to insert 11. I did have some bleeding afterwards, but nothing huge. The cramping was significant at first, but also totally bearable with some ibuprofen.<br><br>
Yesterday was the D&E. It was at the hospital. I had a choice of anesthesia--I could either have propofol + fentanyl + midazolam + a spinal block, or propofol + fentanyl + midazolam + gas anesthesia (which would require a breathing tube). I chose the latter because the general anesthetic crosses the placenta and I wanted to be certain that Basia was anesthetized completely. The doctor also reassured me that the amniotic fluid would be drained prior to the procedure, which would lead to instant death. I was very concerned that the baby not feel any pain.<br><br>
After I was wheeled into the OR and given the midazolam and fentanyl, I was out and I don't remember anything. I would up in the recovery room bleeding heavily with a really sore throat from the breathing tube. The doctor came in and told me that Basia was already dead before the procedure began. I had actually suspected as much. I had felt like she was gone shortly after the amnio, but my intuition has been wrong so many times with this pregnancy I didn't really think much of my suspicions. They were able to get footprints, which we are so, so grateful for. You can tell from the prints that her feet were not normal, but to me they are perfect.<br><br>
Recovery has been uneventful physically. I had very heavy bleeding yesterday, but it has slowed down a lot today. I have no pain. I am pretty numb and still in shock, so it is hard to say what the coming days will bring emotionally. I feel very strongly that we made the right decision, though. I know many would say that this was the wrong decision, but we just wanted to protect Basia from inevitable suffering. That doesn't make it any easier though, believe me.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Nora.
 
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