I chose both
"relaxed" or eclectic - largely child led
and lightly structured & parent directed
I have chosen the curriculum, and there is a set time of day for her to sit down and do handwriting and spelling. In the evenings or a quiet afternoon when little sister is sleeping, we will snuggle on the couch and do a grammar or history or whatever lesson. But those things are more touch and go, when we have a good moment. She also chooses a lot of topics of her own interest such as bugs, plants, planets, the environment and conservation, viruses, the human body, and an expanded version of our history lesson on ancient Egypt.