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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>serenekitten</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13321302"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Afraid I can't help you with your question, but wanted to say hi and welcome! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"></div>
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Thank you!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I'm a long-time MDC member with a new username (for discretion), and thought I'd drop in on this thread and say hi. My family is made up of two moms, a stepdad, and one toddler. We're trying to conceive another child now (my second with DW and first with DH). We've had a couple of chemical pregnancies since we started trying, but I'm still hopeful!<br><br>
We're out to most of the important people, with the whopping exception of DW's family. I have never had the warmest relationship with her family, but things have gotten better since our son was born. Now I'm dreading the loss of that hard-won acceptance, but it's far more important to me that we live honestly. I hate the closet. I was one of those people who came out (as bi) as soon as I understood my own sexuality, and this secrecy feels really bad to me.<br><br>
In spite of those worries, our little family is doing alright, and I am happier than ever! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">: Looking forward to getting to know you all!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BessameMucho</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13334688"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In spite of those worries, our little family is doing alright, and I am happier than ever! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">: Looking forward to getting to know you all!</div>
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Welcome! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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welcome bessamemucho! love that user name! I think that was one of DD's first sentences back when she was learning to talk. (that and "mama yo queiro..." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )
 

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dhinderliter, I've been going to Burning Man since 2000... Well, missed last year because BF invited us to Europe... but this year we're taking him to the playa for his first time! Anyway... pmail me if you have any questions. And if you can, I strongly recommend getting involved with the regional group in your area... try arizona at burningman dot com for information. I'm pretty sure they have an event coming up that will give you a taste of what the people are like...<br><br>
Oops, sorry, OT. As the saying goes, "Burning Man ruined my life <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">" But in a good way. The amazing thing to me is that, wherever I go, I know I can tap into the burner community and find people who are super open minded, a bit weird, and almost always open to different lifestyles/lovestyles.<br><br>
As for the poly life topic... I got an 8 page email from BF last night. He's so much like me sometimes it's scary... I prefer written communication in a lot of ways and I've never before dated anyone who didn't find that offensive or off-putting. It seems he's reached the "where is this going" stage so I guess our date tonight is going to be all about major discussion. I'm going to have to admit some things that I've been trying to squelch.<br><br>
Things have been a bit tense between me and DH lately. I'm trying really hard to recapture the elation of a couple of months ago but I've gotten into a mindset of feeling somewhat guilty about spending time with BF. I know I can turn it around, I just need to think positively.
 

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I'm very interested in this thread. It's been ages since I came on MDC, but I am sort of looking for some support right now.<br>
I'm married for 10 years to an aspie husband, and have always felt very lonely and unfulfilled in our relationship. There are a lot of larger issues there. We are storgic partners and we have 4 munchkins together.<br>
Then I met someone else. He is everything I never knew I wanted. I love him more than life. With him I feel fulfilled. I can not imagine living the rest of my life without him in it. I know there's some degree of NRE there but I want the chance to find out if it's real without having to let go of everything else.<br>
I don't want to choose. #2 isn't asking me to. He'll do anything to be with me. #1 seems presently more married to his beliefs than to me. I don't want to let him go but I may have to.<br>
My ideal situation here is to have a poly relationship with them both. To have one more child for #2 and divide my time between the two men. I could never expect them both to live together or even be close, though that would be a dream come true.<br>
Most of my internet research shows men with multiple female partners. I have rarely seen any stories of women with more than one male partner. Is there a reason for that? Are most men wired to resist sharing a woman? This is all very new to me. I know what I want in my heart, I just don't know how to try and get it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Lila, I'm almost in the same boat... Although I am still clinging to a faint hope that we can be a happy little family of 3 (adults), DH is saying no, no, no. I still think that maybe, with more time to get used to the idea, he'll come around.<br><br>
I don't know what to do. There is a spark between me and BF that just isn't there with DH. We're just... very compatible in a lot of ways, and he wants babies, while DH does not.<br><br>
But I love DH so much and I don't want to hurt him. He's my HUSBAND. I can't imagine life without him.<br><br>
I don't know if most men are wired to resist sharing. BF is quite happy to share, although of course coming in as the secondary partner, sharing is a necessity. DH is okay with sharing, but he wants to be "first" in my heart.<br><br>
I'm afraid that, even if DH were to decide that he wanted to share and share alike... that ultimately he would feel pushed out, and that might hurt him even more.<br><br>
Sorry if I'm repeating myself... this just isn't getting any easier.
 

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Hey ladies! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I haven't been around for a while... mostly because I had put off the idea of polyamory for a while so that DP and I could work on us, and we have been doing a wonderful job of it, if I do say so myself! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> lol Anyways, the other night I brought some things up with him. His idea of the type of relationship is the all mighty HBB, the mythical unicorn, us finding one woman for the two of us. After months of this subject being on the back burner I needed to talk to him. Basicly I told him it was unrealistic to go searching for that kind of ideal relationship because we are both SO different and the two of us finding one person to fill the needs we aren't getting from each other/joining our family was going to be impossible, or something that would happen by chance if it was meant to be. I also said that I don't think we should stop looking for someone, but we should be looking for our own someones and open the boundries a bit. <b>He actually agreed!!!</b> I think he still wants us to date as a couple, date couples... he was just being very agrreable, so I will have to work out the logistics with him very soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I was just very excited.<br><br>
Ok, well I'm leavin work... will be back to chat latter or tomorrow <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Peace.
 

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Can I ask a question that has probably been asked a gajillion times... how much do your kids know about your poly life, and at what ages?<br><br>
DS is 10 months, so it's not a real issue now (and we live nowhere near any other potential partners, so it's really not an issue <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">), but it will be someday...
 

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I asked the same question and was hoping for some insight. My kids are older, one is a teenager. Since my partner and I aren't actually married, they seem to sorta understand the idea of us dating other people but I would also like to hear from others who have dealt with this.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>blizzard_babe</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13397093"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Can I ask a question that has probably been asked a gajillion times... how much do your kids know about your poly life, and at what ages?</div>
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*eyes her growing belly* Mmyeah, this is another question I'm afraid I can't answer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> If everything works out, he's not going to know anything different, much to his grandparents' dismay. I'm gonna be Mama, but girlfriend is going to be "Mom," too -- another thing that will not go over well. (I'll spare you what baloney my family has tried to feed me already.)<br><br>
*sigh*<br><br>
Monday we learned that the Nudger has boy parts. We're currently in a heated discussion as to what should happen with those boy parts -- to circ or not to circ. The DPs think we should circ (boyfriend's mother is rather adamant that it WILL be done <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">). But after doing research and watching videos, I've already cried at the thought of putting my baby through that. I'm hoping I won't have to put my foot down and play the "Mommy card."<br><br>
Either tomorrow or next week, I'll start getting legal advice about our situation. Boyfriend already tried to call and ask questions, but they won't talk to anyone but me.
 

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we've never hidden it, at any age. and never really talked about it with dd either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">:<br>
for me, being poly is just a natural part of our life and our family. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>majikfaerie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13399123"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">we've never hidden it, at any age. and never really talked about it with dd either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">:<br>
for me, being poly is just a natural part of our life and our family. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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That is essentially our philosophy. We don't hide it so, if and when he has questions, we hope he asks. For now, he (age 7) is just used to seeing us snuggle with others.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Hey, I didn't know this thread was here. Cool! I'm not the only poly person here. What a strange feeling. I'm used to being all lonely and unique. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I've been married to two men for almost 12 years. My husbands are twin brothers who decided really young (um, when they were about 12) that they would marry one woman and share her. I'm that extremely lucky woman. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I'm also sometimes friends with benefits to my best friend--with my husbands' knowledge and consent, of course. My best friend dates other women (though not lately) but my husbands don't. From what I've heard, I guess this is an unusual set-up.<br><br>
Since my kids have grown up this way, there's nothing to explain to them, except that most other families only have two parents. Jesse and Davin still think that it's weird to only have one daddy (this isn't helped by the fact their best friend also has two daddies).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13403977"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Hey, I didn't know this thread was here. Cool! I'm not the only poly person here. What a strange feeling. I'm used to being all lonely and unique. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> I remember seeing you elsewhere on MDC but never got a chance to say hi! So, hi! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Hi, serenekitten! I tend to find that I don't have much in common with online poly communities because my life revolves around my husbands and kids, not dating. It's neat to find some poly people who might have similar priorities. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13403977"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've been married to two men for almost 12 years. My husbands are twin brothers who decided really young (um, when they were about 12) that they would marry one woman and share her. I'm that extremely lucky woman. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I'm also sometimes friends with benefits to my best friend--with my husbands' knowledge and consent, of course. My best friend dates other women (though not lately) but my husbands don't. From what I've heard, I guess this is an unusual set-up.</div>
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<span>May I just say, you are totally living my dream life... I don't mean that in a creepy way or anything, just... wow, that's fantastic. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Rock on.</span>
 
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