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Hey, eilonwy! I've seen you around the gifted sub-forum.<br><br>
My husbands actually had a really hard time finding a woman who would go along with what they wanted. They only dated one girl before me. I guess a lot of women find it too weird. But, like my best friend says, "There's nothing too weird for Tanya." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Although, I'm sure there must be <i>something</i> out there that's too weird for me. I just haven't encountered it yet.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13404047"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi, serenekitten! I tend to find that I don't have much in common with online poly communities because my life revolves around my husbands and kids, not dating. It's neat to find some poly people who might have similar priorities. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I know for me, I'm in complete adoration of my couple, so I'm not actively looking to date anyone else. And with the Nudger on the way, well, my life is going to revolve around him for a long time. :p<br><br>
When I realized I was pregnant, I tried to get help from one poly community, but came to the realization that most of the participants were childless. So I came here, instead. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13405306"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hey, eilonwy! I've seen you around the gifted sub-forum.<br><br>
My husbands actually had a really hard time finding a woman who would go along with what they wanted. They only dated one girl before me. I guess a lot of women find it too weird. But, like my best friend says, "There's nothing too weird for Tanya." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Although, I'm sure there must be <i>something</i> out there that's too weird for me. I just haven't encountered it yet.</div>
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<span><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes"> Wow, I'm really surprised. Perhaps women are wired differently in general? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"></span>
 

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I'm here to introduce myself. I am a long-time MDC member (well, since '05), but made a new account to talk about my poly-ness. We are new to this and are not ready to "come out". DH and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have two children. Ideally I think we would like a male partner. Both he and DH would be intimate with me, but not with eachother. We have no idea how we would ever find that... for one thing we live in a small conservative town where everyone knows everyone.<br>
As of now I am becoming involved with a man from my past... who I was never involved with intimately in the past. We both liked eachother (like since I was 13!), but never officially dated or anything. So recently we have gotten back in touch with eachother after several years (he lives an 8 hour drive away <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ) DH and I are both excited about this! I am super excited and soooo wish he lived closer. Anyway. I want people I can share this with. I am so excited, but no one knows besides DH. I love talking with this guy and our connection is still very much there even after all these years (about 7). He is planning on coming up for a visit and wants to spend a weekend with me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">: I can't wait!! The connection between DH and I has been absolutely amazing since we were finally honest with eachother about our sexual fantasies and desires (which were surprisingly the same! lol) I have never felt so close to DH, and I'm excited for the future and the possibilities with new BF. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Really I just want to talk with him all the time and call/message him everyday! I feel like I'm 16 again or something! lol
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>serenekitten</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13397711"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">*<br><br>
Monday we learned that the Nudger has boy parts. We're currently in a heated discussion as to what should happen with those boy parts -- to circ or not to circ. The DPs think we should circ (boyfriend's mother is rather adamant that it WILL be done <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">). But after doing research and watching videos, I've already cried at the thought of putting my baby through that. I'm hoping I won't have to put my foot down and play the "Mommy card."<br></div>
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Please come visit the "Case Against Circ" forum!! Thanks!!!!!!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>A&A</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13496255"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Please come visit the "Case Against Circ" forum!! Thanks!!!!!!!</div>
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Thank you. Been there, done <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1058830" target="_blank">that</a> (my last update there was post <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showpost.php?p=13443990&postcount=46" target="_blank">#46</a>). We're letting the matter drop for now, but I've already made up my mind and that's all that matters.<br><br>
I'm coming to the sad realization that with my couple, their families, and my family, none of my decisions are going to make every single person happy 100% of the time. It hurts me to my very people-pleasing core, but there's nothing I can do but take care of me and the little one.<br><br>
dhinderliter -- Hang in there. I hope you find your path. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
chetree -- Welcome! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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and really happy about it! I have known I fall under the def of polyamory for several years now, but am single. I am eager to meet others that understand monogamy is not the design, although I agree it can be practiced happily by some. I want to read what is here before I jump in, and it may take me a while. Just saying hey there I am here too....
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>serenekitten</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13496510"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">there's nothing I can do but take care of me and the little one.<br></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13403977"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Hey, I didn't know this thread was here. Cool! I'm not the only poly person here. What a strange feeling. I'm used to being all lonely and unique. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I've been married to two men for almost 12 years. My husbands are twin brothers who decided really young (um, when they were about 12) that they would marry one woman and share her. I'm that extremely lucky woman. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I'm also sometimes friends with benefits to my best friend--with my husbands' knowledge and consent, of course. My best friend dates other women (though not lately) but my husbands don't. From what I've heard, I guess this is an unusual set-up.<br><br>
Since my kids have grown up this way, there's nothing to explain to them, except that most other families only have two parents. Jesse and Davin still think that it's weird to only have one daddy (this isn't helped by the fact their best friend also has two daddies).</div>
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Random lurker here - sorry! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Just interested and would like to know... Are you actually married to both brothers? Or do you call it that b/c it's how you see it? Being married to more than one spouse was illegal the last time I heard--not that I actually check the status quo too often... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Sorry, just wondering what you mean here, and going back under my lurking monogamous rock now.
 

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I don't want to speak for her, but lots of folks in the queer community, poly included, will refer to ourselves as married when we have partnered with that intent, even if the law would not choose to recognize it, or would even prosecute us for attempting to make it legal. Married in our hearts, if you will. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Hi... um... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> Can I butt in here and ask some dumb questions? I feel like I'm sort of poly, but I don't know if this "counts," or why I even care about the label...<br><br>
I love my husband, and although we go through rough spots every now and then, overall it's good and I don't want to mess it up. We have one child, not planning on more. I've also pretty much fallen for my best friend (male) and it's mutual. DH knows how I feel about my friend and is ok with it... is even ok with mild physical displays of affection (cuddling on the couch while watching TV etc.) There is some angst because we cannot go farther than that, even though we'd like to. DH won't share me physically, and that's ok - he's not comfortable with sharing that way and I'm not going to coerce him.<br><br>
Basically I get my emotional needs met by my friend, and physical needs met by DH. (Of course it's hard on my friend, because he doesn't have the outlet for his physical needs! Oh well, another discussion for another time.) So... I guess... is this poly? I suppose it doesn't matter what you call it, so long as it works for us... but also, I'm kind of confused by it... it's kind of outside the "normal" family model of mom, dad, 2.4 kids, dog, picket fence.<br><br>
I don't know what my question is... it's past midnight and I'm rambling. Just wanted some people who won't think this is totally weird to bounce my thoughts off, I guess. Thanks for reading.
 

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<span>I think we need a new norm. Mom, kid, 2.4 dads...<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I've spent the weekend with a redhead. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yummy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yummy">: I'm feeling pretty sweet about everything now, and all things poly in particular. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:</span>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>flight</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13540703"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So... I guess... is this poly?</div>
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Sure. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
In my experience, poly people make their own rules and "normal," when it comes to relationships.<br><br>
One of my best friends is taken, but we're still quite cuddly and squishy together. We're not in an "official relationship," per se. But I don't think anyone would bat an eye if it went in that direction.
 

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<span><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">: Still bouncing around, and thinking in small bits because I've been Tweeting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I want to take him home and keep him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: I know, I know, I need to calm down and be rational and such... but it's probably a good thing that he's several hours away from me, else I'd be doing crazy things about now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></span>
 

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<p>Hi there</p>
 

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<span>So I know we've been over a lot of this before... but how did you go about introducing a new long-term partner to your children, if that's been the case? I'm exceptionally nervous to be approaching this stage of a relationship, but it's really the next logical step. Any thoughts or questions about my specific situation that might be relevant?</span>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ReikiMommy07</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13514582"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Random lurker here - sorry! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Just interested and would like to know... Are you actually married to both brothers? Or do you call it that b/c it's how you see it? Being married to more than one spouse was illegal the last time I heard--not that I actually check the status quo too often... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Sorry, just wondering what you mean here, and going back under my lurking monogamous rock now.</div>
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Sorry so long on answering this--not much activity on the thread and I lost track of it. No, I'm not legally married to both. I used to be legally married to Dallas, but am in the process of dissolving the legal aspects of that marriage as a political protest against Oklahoma's marriage laws. A group of us are all dissolving our marriages. We'll remarry when Oklahoma grants the right of marriage to all consenting adults (meaning the day after never <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">). Legal marriage for all or legal marriage for none.<br><br>
Hi, happyma! Welcome to the thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
eilonwy, it sounds like things are going really well for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I don't have much advice about introducing your kids to a new partner since mine have been raised poly. I did tell them when I resumed my relationship with my best friend, but they didn't have much of a reaction. DD1 "didn't want to hear about my sex life" and DD2 hoped that it would mean she got to go to BF's apartment and watch cable TV more often. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> My youngest still don't comprehend monogamy.<br><br>
I wish I knew for sure whether I'm pregnant by one of my husbands or by my BF, though. They're all white and of Irish descent, so I guess I'll be doing a DNA test after the baby is born.<br><br>
BTW, I had my US today. I'm having one healthy boy, EDD 9/29. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
How am I supposed to fill out the birth paperwork not knowing who the father is, though? *sigh*
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13708133"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I wish I knew for sure whether I'm pregnant by one of my husbands or by my BF, though. They're all white and of Irish descent, so I guess I'll be doing a DNA test after the baby is born.<br><br>
BTW, I had my US today. I'm having one healthy boy, EDD 9/29. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
How am I supposed to fill out the birth paperwork not knowing who the father is, though? *sigh*</div>
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Congratulations! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:<br><br>
Goodness, I don't even know how to fill out the paperwork and I DO know who the father is...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TwinsTwicePlusTwo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13708133"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sorry so long on answering this--not much activity on the thread and I lost track of it. No, I'm not legally married to both. I used to be legally married to Dallas, but am in the process of dissolving the legal aspects of that marriage as a political protest against Oklahoma's marriage laws. A group of us are all dissolving our marriages. We'll remarry when Oklahoma grants the right of marriage to all consenting adults (meaning the day after never <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">). Legal marriage for all or legal marriage for none.</div>
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<span>Here, here.</span><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">eilonwy, it sounds like things are going really well for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I don't have much advice about introducing your kids to a new partner since mine have been raised poly. I did tell them when I resumed my relationship with my best friend, but they didn't have much of a reaction. DD1 "didn't want to hear about my sex life" and DD2 hoped that it would mean she got to go to BF's apartment and watch cable TV more often. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> My youngest still don't comprehend monogamy.</td>
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<span>This is the first time I've wanted to introduce the kids to someone with whom I'm having a relationship. It hasn't come up before, because in my opinion they're too young to know about my sex life... but this relationship goes far beyond sex. When you're talking about changing living arrangements then yeah, it's time to meet the kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"></span><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I wish I knew for sure whether I'm pregnant by one of my husbands or by my BF, though. They're all white and of Irish descent, so I guess I'll be doing a DNA test after the baby is born.<br><br>
BTW, I had my US today. I'm having one healthy boy, EDD 9/29. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
How am I supposed to fill out the birth paperwork not knowing who the father is, though? *sigh*</td>
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<span>Women do it all the time, actually. Assuming that you know who the father/s of your older children are, though, it might be easier for you to tell than you think. Kids bear a striking resemblance to their fathers even on ultrasound in a lot of cases. I'd sit down with the three of them and discuss the matter-- what do they want to do, how will the child be raised, etc. It might be easiest just to put your [currently legal] husband's name on the birth certificate; Women do that when it's not 100%, too, and it's rarely called into question.</span>
 
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