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2,687 Posts
AAAAAAARGH!
My 4yo DD has been out of diapers for a year and we STILL have 'accidents', every day, of both poop and pee. I. Am. Fed. UP!
Is it unreasonable to expect a 4yo to reliably make it to the toilet? To not wait so long that she is about to burst and therefore pees where ever she may stand, with a slightly shocked look on her face? And the poop is just as bad, she will just go, making no effort to get to the toilet. I'd say she tries with no prompting or reminder from me about 10% of the time, and gets there with sugestions from me (read incessant reminders every hour or more often) about 40% of the time. The rest of the time, nope. This is for both poop and pee.
I am SO ANGRY about this. I have that little twitchy thing under my eye right now... I told DD I was very very angry and really didn't want to speak with her right now.
I have tried bribery, with stickers and M and Ms. I have tried having her 'practice'. i.e., a very fast dry run from various rooms in the house after she has peed or pooped in her underwear. (I stopped those because it was giving much more attention to the negative than the positive.) I have snapped in the past and gotten very angry with her and physically coercive, generally when she refuses to go to the bathroom when she is obviously about to pee all over the floor (hopping from foot to foot grabbing at herself and still insistent that "The PEE IS NOT READY! NOOOOO I DON"T WANNA GOOOO NOOOOWWW!) but those episodes seem to have stopped recently and she is willing to go, somewhat sullenly, to the toilet when it is suggested to her.
SHe stays dry all night and has no problems 'holding it.' That, actually, seems to be the real problem... she can't really produce until she can't hold it back anymore, either urine or BMs.
So.
How can I help her to go on her own, more frequently? To not wait til the last minute when the urge is so overwhelming that she can't hold it back anymore? I guess I wouldn't even mind having to tell her to go every hour to 2 hours if it actually worked, but it doesn't since it ain't my body and I don't really know whether she has to pee or not. Also, it's *not* my responsibility and I think she's old enough to be able to take on this for herself. Am I way off base on that?
I am so tired of the near-daily poopy underwear and puddles of pee on my carpet! HELP US PLEASE!
My 4yo DD has been out of diapers for a year and we STILL have 'accidents', every day, of both poop and pee. I. Am. Fed. UP!
Is it unreasonable to expect a 4yo to reliably make it to the toilet? To not wait so long that she is about to burst and therefore pees where ever she may stand, with a slightly shocked look on her face? And the poop is just as bad, she will just go, making no effort to get to the toilet. I'd say she tries with no prompting or reminder from me about 10% of the time, and gets there with sugestions from me (read incessant reminders every hour or more often) about 40% of the time. The rest of the time, nope. This is for both poop and pee.
I am SO ANGRY about this. I have that little twitchy thing under my eye right now... I told DD I was very very angry and really didn't want to speak with her right now.
I have tried bribery, with stickers and M and Ms. I have tried having her 'practice'. i.e., a very fast dry run from various rooms in the house after she has peed or pooped in her underwear. (I stopped those because it was giving much more attention to the negative than the positive.) I have snapped in the past and gotten very angry with her and physically coercive, generally when she refuses to go to the bathroom when she is obviously about to pee all over the floor (hopping from foot to foot grabbing at herself and still insistent that "The PEE IS NOT READY! NOOOOO I DON"T WANNA GOOOO NOOOOWWW!) but those episodes seem to have stopped recently and she is willing to go, somewhat sullenly, to the toilet when it is suggested to her.
SHe stays dry all night and has no problems 'holding it.' That, actually, seems to be the real problem... she can't really produce until she can't hold it back anymore, either urine or BMs.
So.
How can I help her to go on her own, more frequently? To not wait til the last minute when the urge is so overwhelming that she can't hold it back anymore? I guess I wouldn't even mind having to tell her to go every hour to 2 hours if it actually worked, but it doesn't since it ain't my body and I don't really know whether she has to pee or not. Also, it's *not* my responsibility and I think she's old enough to be able to take on this for herself. Am I way off base on that?
I am so tired of the near-daily poopy underwear and puddles of pee on my carpet! HELP US PLEASE!