[kungfumoose]

I just wanted to share a few positive reactions I have gotten about UC.

I have been very open and honest about my planned UC, and I usually get some pretty negative reactions.

The other day I was out to lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. She asked me something about the hospital, and I said that I was having a home birth. (I never offer more info than I need to to be honest)
She imediately said "Are you having a midwife, or will it be just you and your husband?"
I said it would be just me and my husband. She asked a few questions, and said that it wasn't for her, but she was glad that I found something that I was comfortable with. She also told me that she had had a friend in her previous town who had a succesful UC, and how impressed she was by it.

YAY!!!! That other mama, totally opened the door for acceptance for me!
It was relly cool.

I also had planned on telling my MIL (who is half way around the world from me) after the birth, because I didn't want her to worry.
I was talking to my SIL (who is a family gossip) and she knew of my natural parenting opinions, and asked if I was having a home birth. I said I was, and she asked how I managed to get a midwife, and wanted to know if the midwife spoke english. (my japanese isn't so good) I told her the truth.
I knew that I had to tell my MIL, because the last thing I needed was for my SIL to tell her.
I told me MIL last week, and she was really supportive, and asked what we had done to prepare, and wanted to make sure that if something went wrong, we would go to the hospital. I asssured her that we were prepared, and she seemed totally fine with it.
Today, I was talking with her, and she very kindly said "It's your right to choose where you give birth, and it's my right to worry about it" It was so sweet, it was her way of saying that she was afraid of my choice, but very supportive of my right to make that choice.
She is such a wonderful woman.

I just wanted to share happy responses to my Planned UC.

Maybe someday UC will be as accepted as HB w/ a MW. I hope so.

~Moose

 

[MamaTaraX]

That's wonderful!!!

Namaste, Tara

 

[Kidzaplenty]

That is so wonderful!

The best I ever get is the standard, "You're so brave!"

 

[shell024]

I have gotten some semi positive responses. Usually people are surprised, their eyes get big and say something like "oh wow! how was that???"

I guess most people (I was one) just don't know it is an option and are genuinely shocked at the idea. When I first learned about UC (from this board

), I was initially surprised and skeptical. But as I learned bit by bit, it all became so clear.... "THIS is what I have been searching for!!" So hopefully, by continuing to tell people about it, more people will "realize" that they do want a UC and that it IS possible.

My aunt had 3 UCs so she wasn't shocked at the idea at all, but pleasantly surprised with my plans

 

[L J]

That is so great! Its so awesome to have something so important to you (and so "odd" to the general public) accepted.

I wish I was brave enough to say I am having a UC. I always lie, and say I'm having a midwife, and that is bad enough. I'm so sick of defending my choices, and so sick of the criticism and people acting like they know best and I'm so stupid (because I'm young and) because this is my first.

You are one lucky woman!

 

[frontierpsych]

I haven't had many positive reactions (My uncle seemed okay with it, as long as my husband would be there, because he worried about the "just in case", but the reason I told my uncle is he's very crunchy, he just doesn't know it!) and my aunt is supportive of my homebirth, but I don't think i mentioned UC specifically. I haven't mentioned it much IRL, because most people just don't ask. My friends all know, but haven't really said anything positive or negative for the most part (just a few "You mean no epi?!" type reactions.) but most of my friends have no kids and really haven't thought about it one way or the other.
glad to hear you got some positive reactions though!

 

[arlecchina]

oh aside from my partner (and after alot of convo -> my best friend) I get all horrible reactions

I am pleased to hear you found a person who thought it was neat

 

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

i have had many people say 'how wonderful', in total sincerity. i am so totally positive about it, and when i had the first PG and was glowing and bubbly and talkative, i think my enthusiasm infected others.

 

[CryPixie83]

We've had really positive reactions whenever we tell anyone we're planning a UC homebirth. Lots of people are really curious, some people are concerned until we tell them we had our first dd at home, then they relax... kinda of "oh, they know what they're doing..."

The one negative reaction we've had is from a male coworker of DH's who just thinks we're crazy

Ah well

 

[kungfumoose]

Okay, so this wasn't exactly a positive reation, but it was sooo funny!!
Yesterday, I was at church, and I was talking to some women who knew that I was 1 day past my due date. They asked if I was dialated yet, I said I didn't know, they asked why not, and I said because I hadn't let my OB check. They asked why not, and I said "because nobody but my husband is going in there!!"
The woman sarcastically said "Is your husband delivering your baby?" I said "not exactly" They both knew that I was having a HB, and the other replied, well, your having someone come aren't you? I said "no" and she said In a horrified voice "well who is going to deliver your baby!?!?" I said "Me" and you should have seen the looks, it was hilarious.

I thought I was going to die laughing. They were mortified, and didn't even know what to say. they were completely speachless while I went into my usual speech about how prepared I was and all the research I had done...blah blah blah.....anyhow, when I was finished I just left them there with thier mouths hanging open. They still hadn't said anything.
Maybe it was my confidence, I don't know, but they were absolutley shocked.
It was awesome!!!

~Moose

 

[Kidzaplenty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kungfumoose I just left them there with thier mouths hanging open. They still hadn't said anything. Maybe it was my confidence, I don't know, but they were absolutley shocked.

I would have LOVED to see it!

I love to leave people speachless looking very bumbfounded!

 

[CryPixie83]

Moose- that is awesome!

 

[forthebest]

That is so cool! Since finding mdc I have come to realise that there are women in so-called advanced civilization,who are prepared to insist on more autonomy during childbirth, and pregnancy and life, yay!I mean I know women do it but it's so hush hush.About time this was out in the open and attitudes changed.The attitude to my uc was as though I was from another planet, now I wish I'd been more positive towards people you know to attempt to normalise it in their minds a bit, instead I felt totally alienated and didn't talk about it, weird, like my experience of childbirth is seen as a bad thing due to my birthing choices and not relevant. But sadly I know they just think we are not allowed/able to do it.Why do folk think women need someone else to deliver their babies? it's kinda daft really, we do all the work and yet they want to hand over the final outcome or for lack of a better word,glory, to anyone else but us. I'd loved to have seen those ladies faces as reality sinks in. Go for it,UC.

 

[majazama]

my positve exp telling people I had an UC, was my grama and oldest aunt saying I was "brave". (I didn't get any negative reactions) I was careful about who I told.

my funny story about UC, was when I phoned a breastfeeding consultant to come to the house (as I was concerned about my DD getting a good latch, postpartum anxiety...) She asked me "so who delivered you"?, and I retorted "I delivered myself"...

:

I love it.

 

[truejoy]

In responce to our UC most ppl don't know what to say.

Since our dd was born I have two friends who have been trying to talk their DH's into UC's for their next ones. One of them told me she almost stayed home instead of going to the midwives when she went into labor last time (her 7th baby).

 

[tabitha]

i am very., very careful about who i tell. i often say i have 'found a midwife', which is true, or that we have a midwife who has 'agreed to come for the birth', which is also true- i have spoken to a nearby midwife who is very UC friendly and she is willing to deliver the baby should i change my mind, etc. whether i use her or not she is amiable and will also order my rhogam if i end up needing it. it is nice to find a midwife who understands, since in california where i am from the midwife attitude towards UC was different. but i havent even met the midwife, just had a couple conversations on the phone.

but the few people i have told have been very accepting. two people who know, i think, are accepting because they are familiar with people who UC for religious reasons. they know this is not our reason for UC but they believe in UC as a valid choice because of their other friends. to be honest, though, i am not sure we arent UCing for 'religious reasons'- certainly my drive towards free birth is very spiritual.

it is nice to hear about positive responses since so often we are ranting about the negative. it amazes me regularly how like minded people are hidden away in places we least expect them. we luve in a rural midwest town where i wouldnt expect to find a friend in a 50 mile radius. however, my neighbor is a homebirth mom, my other neighbors are UC friendly, and so on. who would have thought?

tabitha