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We are planning on ttc in December for #4. #3 was a 2 hour start to finish dream home water birth. We were in the heart of town then, now we are rural. The midwife barely made it then; I wouldn't be a bit surprised if #4-to-be becomes a UC. I don't have a problem with that, and plan to prepare myself for that possibility. DH is reluctant at this point to even have another home birth since we are so far from hospital :puke (not my favorite places, especially for birth) and help should things take a turn and we need help. Nevertheless, homebirth it is, and he knows there is no other thought to entertain. I'll look around here on the board, but I am wondering what you would suggest for reading. Also any advice on preparing DH in a roundabout way for UC; he would not be too keen on catching baby as a planned course of action.
 

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unassisted childbirth by laura Shanley. Also, Since you have already had kids, you may not need to do this, but it helped my husband alot to get used to the idea by showing him lots of pics of what a baby comming out is gonna look like. The first few pictures he saw he looked like he was going to be sick, but now he's ok with it. I didn't want him to freak out about it when I needed him to catch the baby. Maybe have your hubby read some unassisted birth stories, it helped my husband to hear about other people doing it without problems or what they did if they did have a problem. After he read a few stories he said "well if they can do it just fine, then you'll definatly have no problems beacuse you're a lot stronger than they are" LOL which isn't nessicarily true but still feels good to hear
good hubby!
 

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I second the recommendations of both of those books - the Morgan book is wonderful, IMO (I just ignored the religious allusions, not being Christian, myself) and my dh loved it too. My dh never needed convincing (we always seem to be on the same page, luckily!), but he did admit that reading other UC stories in which the dad was sent to the market for a specific snack, or helping the older kids in another room part of the time, etc. made him feel even more relaxed. He didn't know until it was relieved that he did feel some pressure to be with me 100% of the time during labor, but these other stories allowed him to see that I really could be okay by myself for periods of time, even catching the baby myself if necessary. There are a lot of UC birth stories you can choose from here: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/CBirthStories/

Good luck from another rural-Sierra-near-Tahoe mama!
 

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My husband enjoyed "Emergency Childbirth: A Manual" by J. Gregory, M.D. It reads like a crash course in "aiding" a woman in labor. (It basically tells the helper to leave the woman to her natural devices and be supportive.) There are chapters that speak to how to help with complications and what to do in specific instances.
My husband read it a few times before our UC. Like most natural births, there were no complications. He did not feel the need to draw on any of the information that he read, apart from the advice to leave the woman to her natural devices and be supportive. I'd recommend this book because it gives the reader the strong impression that the work is done by the woman and not the helper. (Funny that this point needs to be spelled out...)
Regards,
Jenna
 

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It helped my husband to understand that I did not want or expect him to act as midwife. He had gotten the impression from our previous homebirths that there needs to be someone there to do all these things to and for the laboring mother -- because our midwives were always busy, you know. I had to explain to him that that was all superfluous and part of the reason I was doing UC was because I didn't want that.
 

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I agree with the book recommendations ...also The Babycatcher is a good book to help you see that birth is natural and "professionals" aren't a necessity.

When it comes right down to it I think that most women that choose UC don't really want or need their partners "help" per se. It's good for them to be there and to be supportive but birth will happen with or without someone else helping you. So...I agree that reassuring him that you don't expect him to be a doctor or midwife...just be there...it ought to help.
 
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