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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Our psyc. yesterday said I need to have a sleep study done (probably narcolepsy). I said that dd would have to come with me. His eyes got HUGE & said "she SLEEPS with YOU???!!!!!". He went on to say that the intense attachment between 21 month dd & I was like being an alcoholic & that it is destructive for everyone in the family (dh & 6 y/old dd feel left out). Feels the same way about the fact that she's still nursing...<br><br>
Said I was also harming the little one by not allowing her to develop appropriately...says at this age she should be going out in the world now...removing herself from me...including not nursing & sleeping away from me. She's 21 months old!!!<br><br>
We are very attached...isn't that the way it should be??????? That's the way I am/was with 1st dd too.<br><br>
And I don't know how I would transition from her sleeping with me to sleeping with big sister (I'm not going to try to make her sleep alone). I do need the sleep study...but at what cost?<br><br>
Thank you & sorry for the bit of rambling!<br><br>
p.s. I do spend time alone with older dd every day...make every effort to make sure we feel connected, make sure she feels loved. ALSO, everywhere we go people comment on how HAPPY, CONTENT, WELL-BEHAVED Ava is...doesn't that mean that I'm doing something right???
 

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What an idiot! Of all people, he should know that secure attachment is the MOST important thing for young children's psychological development!!!! Seriously, it is taught in every developmental psychology class out there - secure attachment grows into appropriate psychological development throughout childhood.<br><br>
What an IDIOT!<br><br>
What an IDIOT!<br><br>
That makes so little sense I just don't know what else to say!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
AMEN!!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br>
That's what I thought...good to hear it from someone else. We won't be returning to him. He's great in other ways, but this is too big a deal & he is way too far off base.<br><br>
THANK YOU!!!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">He went on to say that the intense attachment between 21 month dd & I was like being an alcoholic & that it is destructive for everyone in the family (dh & 6 y/old dd feel left out). Feels the same way about the fact that she's still nursing...</td>
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That is insanity. Not to mention outrageously offensive to compare it being an alcoholic. He sounds like a total idiot. IMO, that would be enough to make me find another doctor.<br><br>
It seems to me that a sleep study should be studying your sleep under normal conditions. Your dd sleeping with you is a normal condition. It should be studied while she's with you.
 

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That's ridiculous. I would be totally offended. Even my son's pediatrician - who is very mainstream - was totally respectful when I told him I co-sleep and still breastfeed. He even supported me by saying, "there are only 2 people that should be involved in the decision of how long you nurse - you and your son" And even though he advocates CIO, he respected that we co-sleep by saying, "well, its how 90% of the world does it so how bad can it be?" i would get a new doc if they said something to me like yours did. Think about it - he made you doubt your own mothering...that can be really damaging. What kind of pyschatrist wouldn't respect what a mother's heart & intuition is telling them to do?
 

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I had family members & others tell me that, too with my older dd. They said that she was too attached to me & would be clingy b/c I wasn't letting her get used to being away from me. One of my friends who was stating this & who took the opposite approach of letting her little guy cry it out to sleep as soon as he came home from the hospital after birth, now has a 6 y/o who wakes up regularly at night & was too insecure being away from mom, so she decided to wait an extra year to start him in kindergarten.<br><br>
My dd, on the other hand, screamed if I even looked away from her when she was a baby, co-slept, bf for about 2 yrs & is the most independent little girl now. She will be 6 in August. I truly feel that she had high attachment needs as a baby &, if I <i>hadn't</i> met them, she wouldn't be so secure now. She is the youngest kid in her kindergarten class & she had no problem with being away from me on day one. She waved bye mom & marched off on her own. You are absolutely doing the right thing! What a nut!
 

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That guy is even contradicting the AAP, WHO, and AFP (Family Physicians, who actually include in their statement that a child weaned before age two is at an increased risk for illness)!<br><br>
Is he even *aware of the current rec's for breastfeeding by medical assn's worldwide? Probably not!<br><br>
ICAM, he has caused you to doubt your mothering. Nothing but harm in that.<br>
Drop him like a hot potato!!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"> Yes, there are bad psychologist out there...............................<br><br>
Is he a CHILD Psychologist???????????????????? I hope not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nicholas_mom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is he a CHILD Psychologist????????????????????</div>
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He's a child <i>psychiatrist</i>. He has been treating my older dd & out of convenience I started seeing him myself.<br><br>
I already have the # of a new dr.<br><br>
Dh was there too & he was a little surprised at how outwardly angry I was...challenging him...raised voice. He said I was like a mama bear. OF COURSE!!!! That's what I'm supposed to do. Why don't people get that??!!!<br><br>
The dr. had talked to me several times about weaning Ava & I told him "no"...and then I guess he thought he would jolt my system by comparing me to the alcoholic in a family & the relationship between dd & I as the alcohol. Crazy man!!!<br><br>
Thank you all for your support & affirmations!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">He's a child psychiatrist</td>
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Aha, I see......well psychiatrist are even WORSE than psychologist! My husband is a psychotherapist and has clients that sometimes see psychiatrist for drugs or for special testing. He has heard some weird stuff that clients tell him that came from a psychiatrist.<br><br>
Stay away from them......unless you need psychotrophic drugs WHILE ALSO doing therapy IF you go that route..........or Special testing (I see you do.)<br><br>
Where are you from? My dh used to work at admission at a mental hospital in Baltimore, MD......He's gotten to know some decent psychiatrist there....
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
He thinks that my older dd's depression, moodiness, emotional instability is the result of two factors:<br><br>
1: I also nursed & co-slept with her until she was about 2.5 yrs old.<br>
<<gasp!!!>><br><br>
2: Now I'm doing that with her little sister (supposedly making her feel insanely jealous while damaging the little one @ the same time).<br><br>
My dd was unstable BEFORE I got pregnant. And I'm not going to isolate my toddler because the dr. thinks it might make my older dd feel better.<br><br>
Sure she's jealous sometimes....every older sibling is at some time. (Most of the time they are totally smitten with each other & having a wonderful time.) But that's not the primary issue here & I don't think he gets that. It's all about ME.<br><br>
I posted here just to make sure that it really isn't me... I wanted to make sure that my gut was guiding me in the right direction.<br><br>
Take Care!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I went to counceling a few years back for panic attacks. The first phyciatrist my dr recommended made me so irritated I didn't go back. I found a councelor (not phyciatrist) that I felt comfortable with and that made a world of difference.
 

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I agree with Sleeping Queen find a counselor and do family counseling. That is what you are looking for...........<br><br>
Keep going with your instincts............. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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