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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need some support please! I'm trying not to freak out too bad. I want to have an home birth with only 1 sonogram because I'm not comfortable with the u/s waves. I feel like my dream could be dying, and I'm trying not to cry. My due date was May 7th, but my midwife switched it to May 14th after we have 2 sonograms that measured her a week behind (I did one more sonogram that I wanted to, because my mw said that she couldn't feel the baby's head during my vaginal exam, and she thought the baby was breech). Now, she is starting to throw all of the legal stuff at me. Legally, I have to have this baby by the 28th or I'll have to be induced. Legally, I have to have 2 NSTs a week until the baby is born. I feel so pressured, and my emotions are beginning to fray. I only have 10 days to get this baby out or I'll have to give birth in a hospital instead of at home like I want to.<br><br>
I DON'T want all of those NSTs, and I don't think I need one even though I have a grade 3 placenta. The baby has been kicking and moving constantly. I had one NST done already 1 day postdate, and the baby kicked right through it. Quite obviously NOT a baby in distress. I hated being at the hospital, especially since it took the nurse 25 minutes to remove the EFM after the test strip was done. Her excuse was that the dr had to diagnosis the strip, so she had to continue to collect data while she wanted for the dr to call her back. I have no idea who this dr was, I never saw this dr, and I have no idea how he diagnosed the strip without seeing it! I don't want to go back there, and have another NST done MUCH LESS have to give birth in that hospital. We deliberately chose the slowest time at the hospital, and I would HATE to see what it would be like at the busiest time!<br><br>
I haven't felt any contractions in awhile, just some mild cramping, and I'm SO worried that this labor won't start, and I'll have to have a ton of interventions. I'm worried that I'm not doing enough to get it started and that labor isn't starting because of my ignorance. It seems like I can get stuff started, it just doesn't have enough momentum to go anywhere. Please Please PLEASE someone make me feel better!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandnewmrs</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8151092"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I need some support please! I'm trying not to freak out too bad. I want to have an home birth with only 1 sonogram because I'm not comfortable with the u/s waves. I feel like my dream could be dying, and I'm trying not to cry. My due date was May 7th, but my midwife switched it to May 14th after we have 2 sonograms that measured her a week behind (I did one more sonogram that I wanted to, because my mw said that she couldn't feel the baby's head during my vaginal exam, and she thought the baby was breech). Now, she is starting to throw all of the legal stuff at me. Legally, I have to have this baby by the 28th or I'll have to be induced. Legally, I have to have 2 NSTs a week until the baby is born. I feel so pressured, and my emotions are beginning to fray. I only have 10 days to get this baby out or I'll have to give birth in a hospital instead of at home like I want to.<br><br>
I DON'T want all of those NSTs, and I don't think I need one even though I have a grade 3 placenta. The baby has been kicking and moving constantly. I had one NST done already 1 day postdate, and the baby kicked right through it. Quite obviously NOT a baby in distress. I hated being at the hospital, especially since it took the nurse 25 minutes to remove the EFM after the test strip was done. Her excuse was that the dr had to diagnosis the strip, so she had to continue to collect data while she wanted for the dr to call her back. I have no idea who this dr was, I never saw this dr, and I have no idea how he diagnosed the strip without seeing it! I don't want to go back there, and have another NST done MUCH LESS have to give birth in that hospital. We deliberately chose the slowest time at the hospital, and I would HATE to see what it would be like at the busiest time!<br><br>
I haven't felt any contractions in awhile, just some mild cramping, and I'm SO worried that this labor won't start, and I'll have to have a ton of interventions. I'm worried that I'm not doing enough to get it started and that labor isn't starting because of my ignorance. It seems like I can get stuff started, it just doesn't have enough momentum to go anywhere. Please Please PLEASE someone make me feel better!</div>
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Hon I don't get this bit about "legally"... where do you live? I don't think there could possibly be a LAW saying you MUST induce a baby by a certain date or you MUST have NST... that just sounds wrong to me. I think it more likely that your MW is concerned that if she "allows" deviation from those routine protocols, then SHE might be "legally liable" should something go wrong. If that's the case, and you are comfortable waiving all this c&ap, ask her for a legal waiver to sign saying you understand the protocols and are waiving them and promise not to sue your MW.<br><br>
Labour WILL START WHEN YOUR BABY AND YOUR BODY ARE READY. This is TRUE. If you haven't started labour, even at 2 weeks post-date, it's because your baby isn't ready to come yet. This is partly governed by genetics... if your mum's, sister's and/or maternal grandmother's babies were late, you have a very good arguement for genetic predisposition to carrying babies longer with safety. some mamas just take longer. And rmember that 40 weeks is an ARTIFICIAL date - it's only an average, and nobody gave the baby a palm-pilot or a memo informing shim of which specific date s/he was supposed to show up by.<br><br>
Big hugs hon. I would seriously question your MW about just what "legalities" are at stake here, that sounds seriously fishy to me.<br><br>
xo robin
 

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I'd also recommend checking into the whole "legality" angle, because you don't have to accept any medical treatment, test, etc. If you're in the US in most cases they'd have to get a court order to force treatment on you. You have plenty of time til the 28th, and it's hard for me to believe they could legally compel you to induce even then.
 

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Hi there, i thought you might want to read this post:<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=675720" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=675720</a><br><br>
hopefully that link works. Basically i posted something very similar last night, and i found the responses very helpful and reassuring.<br><br>
As for legalities, your MW must mean that she can't legally do your home birth without jumping through those hoops... because certainly there is no legal reason why YOU need to do anything. I'm thinking she means that the law binds HER to recommend that course of action for you. Either that or she is lying and trying to scare you into going her route for some reason.<br><br>
Either way, you don't need to be stressing out like this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I feel for you!! You shouldn't even be thinking about induction of any sort at 3 days past your estimated due date. I'm so sorry you are being put through this.<br><br>
Pregnancy has been a journey for me, only in the last 2-3 months have i realized that i can go to the hospital and ask for help, and freely deny their suggestions and leave if i want to! You can do the same. Trust your instincts, and ultimately do what is best for you, whether that be an induction or waiting it out.<br><br>
Just wanted to reach out to you since i'm post term as well and have had to kind of fall off the radar from the medical community in order to not be pressured to get induced.<br><br>
Best wishes (((HUGS))) you will do the right thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Your mw needs to chill IMO<br><br>
I was 'due' May 7th also<br><br>
I seem to be a slow cooker as my second was 2 weeks late, my 3rd 3 weeks late and well #4 we are still waiting for <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
My new mw knows my history and is comfy with waiting for the baby to come on it own time. She said some moms just seems to take longer than other and if an induction is done problems often follow.<br><br>
Do your research, decided what your comfortable with and then stand your ground <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I just had my beautiful hb and guess what? According to lmp my baby was 3 and one half weeks late. According to an u/s done at 20w she was 2 weeks late. According to an unreliable u/s done the day I went into labor I was actually "due" that day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I was doing everything one can do to entice labor (sex daily, nip stim, hiking mountains, epo, etc) but labor didn't start until both baby and mama were ready.<br><br>
My dd isn't huge (in the 9s), I still delivered her vaginally. My placenta was a whopping four pounds tho and beautiful! No wonder she was content. My mw was willing to work with us, I consented to the 43w u/s to quell any fears she (and my family <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ) may have had.<br><br>
My mw did her own version of a nst: listened to baby for 5 min documenting fht every 5 seconds, as well as movement when I felt it. She heard fluctuations, which is what she wanted.<br><br>
Contractions didnt start for me until 12 hours before I gave birth. But once they started theyy were quickly 4 and 5 min apart.<br><br>
I *knew* baby, however "late" was fine. And I *knew* that labor would hit me and babe would be born soon thereafter.<br><br>
Don't let what others fear get to you. I hope my recent experience helps you.
 

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Do you feel like you need these procedures?<br><br>
Do you feel like something is wrong?<br><br>
You are the "client".<br><br>
You are the one in control.<br><br>
You are the boss.<br><br>
You can say no.<br><br>
That said, it can be "normal" for you to go "late". There's a reason why it's called the EDD. ESTIMATED! ESTIMATED. Period.<br><br>
DS#1- 9 days "late" 7 hr labor<br>
DS#2- 11 days "late" 2.5 hr labor<br>
DD- 17 days "late" 2 hr 45 min labor<br><br>
It's okay. You're okay. Do what you need to do. Do not allow someone who you are paying to provide a SERVICE to you to dominate and stress you.<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">She</span> works for <span style="text-decoration:underline;">you</span>.<br><br>
( I don't mean that in a power struggle kind of way, I mean it in a "You have a right to a minimum expectation of service and customer service by someone you are paying to do a job for you!")
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you for all the posts. I needed some other moms to help me feel a little more empowered!<br><br>
I don't understand what she meant by "Legally" either. I live in MO, and wasn't aware that there were any rules. I was blindsided by that. When I told her I wasn't going to agree to having 2 NSTs a week, she really argued with me about it. She told me that since "I" was the one who was worried about whether or not my placenta would give out, that I should want this to make sure that my baby wasn't in danger. I didn't appreciate the guilt trip. My answer was that since the baby's heartbeat was above what they were looking for, I was satisfied that the baby was fine, and that I would go in 2x a week if I felt a drop in the baby's kick counts. I DID agree to going in again at 41 weeks in the name of compromise, which I am beginning to regret. I was surprised at how much she pushed me about this. She hasn't been this confrontational with me in the past, although maybe I've never really said "No" to her before.<br><br>
I know that she has to report to an OBGYN about my case. Maybe Certified Nurse Midwives aren't as flexible as I understood them to be.
 

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Well, that's your problem right there.<br><br>
Why does she "have to" report to an OB if she is a homebirth midwife? I've never heard of a homebirth midwife under the employment of an OB and there's a darn good reason for that. She wouldn't be doing very many homebirths.
 

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legal schmegal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
She is probably talking about <i>her</i> liabilities and what <i>she</i> is legally allowed to do/not do. She can't legally force you to do anything.<br><br>
I gave birth to a 15 day "late" baby and he was just fine. No meconium, and he still looks like a newborn. Labor didn't cause any trouble for me either, in spite of him being so big.<br><br>
The problem I can see you running into though is if you don't do what your midwife wants, she may drop you, and then you'll either be on your own or birthing in the hospital with caregivers who think you're an idiot for going so long and who don't know you or your history or your desires for birth.<br><br>
They sure have made pregnancy complicated even if you and the baby are perfectly healthy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cappuccinosmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8160620"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">legal schmegal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br></div>
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Anyone else think of Gollum in Lord of the Rings?<br><br><br>
She does homebirths although she has permissions at a hospital (obviously). She's into waterbirth, and has her own birthing pool, and has worked with my questionable bp issues (I'm not ridiculously high, but an OB would pry flip. I tend to average 130/80, with my resting temps 10-15 points lower. It has not proven to be pregnancy-induced. My blood tests for pre-e came back fine). She has told me that if I was with a dr, I would have been induced already because of my bp, and that I would have a hard time finding a midwife to take me because of my risks.<br><br>
As I'm talking about it, it's sounding creepier and creepier all the time. I didn't expect this from a midwife who has attended underwater vaginal breech births!<br><br>
Hmm. Well, I'm not totally opposed to having an unassisted homebirth. It might scare the crap out of my DH though. I don't know why the NST is such a big issue for me. It seems like such a silly thing to lose my midwife over, but I just can't bring myself to do it! It just feels wrong.
 

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I really doubt she could legally drop you at this point.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandnewmrs</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8161089"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Anyone else think of Gollum in Lord of the Rings?<br><br><br>
She does homebirths although she has permissions at a hospital (obviously). She's into waterbirth, and has her own birthing pool, and has worked with my questionable bp issues (I'm not ridiculously high, but an OB would pry flip. I tend to average 130/80, with my resting temps 10-15 points lower. It has not proven to be pregnancy-induced. My blood tests for pre-e came back fine). She has told me that if I was with a dr, I would have been induced already because of my bp, and that I would have a hard time finding a midwife to take me because of my risks.<br><br>
As I'm talking about it, it's sounding creepier and creepier all the time. I didn't expect this from a midwife who has attended underwater vaginal breech births!<br><br>
Hmm. Well, I'm not totally opposed to having an unassisted homebirth. It might scare the crap out of my DH though. I don't know why the NST is such a big issue for me. It seems like such a silly thing to lose my midwife over, but I just can't bring myself to do it! It just feels wrong.</div>
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It does sound suspicious. Is there a licensed midwife or a lay midwife you can consult with? Someone who doesn't have to report back to an OB and therefore has her "hands tied" so to speak. You want someone who is only working for you and your best interests, kwim?
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">She has told me that if I was with a dr, I would have been induced already because of my bp, and that I would have a hard time finding a midwife to take me because of my risks.</td>
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I don't see anything wrong with your blood pressure. High blood pressure is a blood pressure reading of 140/90 mmHg or higher which yours is not. And if you tend to go lower, not higher, I don't see what the problem is. She sounds like she needs a vacation. Stand your ground though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I think that she DOES need a vacation. She seems way more stressed about my birth than I am. She calls me every couple days to make sure I'm alright. I'm not worried about this birth! I saw my mom birth 3 babies at home. I'm just not very intimidated by labor. Yesterday she called to tell me that she was going to have jury duty today, but not to worry, because babies only come at night. Yes, mother! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: She had a death in the family last week or the week before (they are beginning to blur together), so she might be having a hard time coping with that. I think overall she is a great caring midwife, but she's OVERWHELMING! I don't plan on using her for my next pg.<br><br>
I have had 3 bp readings in my pregnancy that have spiked. However, at followup readings given 10 minutes to 1 hr later, they were all back to normal. My m/w gave me some medicine to take if I have 2 consecutive readings over 100 in an hour. I fulfilled the prescription, but I won't take it. The side effect of the medicine is that it stops labor, and wouldn't have an immediate effect on my bp anyway. If at 41 wks, if my bp is that high and it won't come down, I don't think that taking that med is the best thing to do!<br><br>
We have another of our weekly appointments tomorrow, so I'll bring up the legal issues with her. The next NST is also tomorrow evening. This time I will be quite specific with the nurse about the time limit. Silly me, for not realizing last time that it would take 25 minutes to take off a fetal monitor. I'm not making that mistake again.<br><br>
Ooh, I'm cramping a little right now. Maybe she'll finally come today! That would be a pleasant way to take care of everything, wouldn't it?
 
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