[Drummer's Wife]

My DH, who played football in HS and was born in 1980 (so lots of circ'd boys, I'm sure) doesn't recall class/team-mates comparing penises in the locker room. He's intact, BTW, and was never teased about it.

But yeah, by the time babies today are old enough to shower at school (I never, ever did this myself - but maybe it's a male thing), I imagine the circ vs. intact ratio will be pretty small.

 

[4chunut1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erin23kate My husband was an intact football player in the midwest in the 90s. In all of his locker room years, there was only ONE comment, ONCE. My husband responded with "Uh, why are you looking at my d!ck?" Never happened again. In my opinion, boys are too afraid of being called gay (unfortunately) to comment on another guy's equipment.

Yeah, I think the "locker room teasing" is really a red herring. I am an intact male and many years ago when I was in high school we had communal showers after sports practice. The circumcision rate was about 1/3 intact, 2/3 circ'd. Yeah, guys did "look," sneak-a-peek, just for comparison purposes, more for "size" than circ status. You CERTAINLY did not want to be caught staring, or even worse, making a teasing remark, or you would get a strong comment like the one above, as well as an accusation of being a "****," or "queer." ("Gay" did not have the same meaning then as it does now...)

 

[mama2soren]

I asked DH, and he said it was an absolute non-issue. No one looked, and if they did, they certainly wouldn't admit that they were looking by making a snide remark!

 

[titania8]

wow, thanks everyone! i'll be sending her the link to this thread, and i'm sure it will help put things in perspective. thanks for sharing!

 

[Fyrestorm]

My BFF's son (now 19) was in band and sports all through HS. He had all kinds of comebacks ready if anyone ever commented on his intactness. (I think he was actually looking forward to using them) My personal favorite was "Wait - I'm Not missing the best part of my junk and you're laughing at me?"

He NEVER got to use it - or any other comeback, not once, not ever. Now he's in the navy, on a submarine (talk about close quarters) and still, never has had a chance to use them....I guess either no one look, no one cares or no one wants to risk violating 'don't ask, don't tell.

 

[Proxi]

I have heard of people being teased (I knew someone who was the "bully" in high school, and he admitted to bugging one kid who was uncircumcised) however, my husband said he has never been teased for being uncut.

 

[LaLaLaLa]

My brother and I were discussing this. He said there was ONE guy in our entire high school who was intact, and everyone knew it. He told me who this guy was; it was someone on one of my brother's sports teams who I knew. My brother said that everyone tormented him whenever they got changed for sports and said how gross and weird it was.

The kid seemed to be fine; I don't know if the teasing bothered him, but my brother said that they DID do it and it WAS relentless all through high school. I'd imagine that if he had a response like "Why are you looking at my penis?" my brother would have come right back with something like "Well, it's just SO awful, how can I NOT look?"

He was (is) that kind of a guy.

Kids get teased for all sorts of things. Including being intact if that is the minority. I don't think it helps anything to say it never happens; it's just a matter of whether that information should have an effect on anyone's decision.

 

[an_aurora]

My bf in high school was intact. He didn't even know he was intact until I told him

. He was teased because he was skinny, because he had acne, because he had a birthmark on his thigh, but never because of his foreskin.

 

[rachelsmama]

My brother is in university and he mentioned there was some foreskin related teasing, but it was the circumcised guys who were being mocked.

 

[serendipity22]

There was only boy in my year at school who had escaped the knife, because he was from the UK.

He was strong and athletic and nobody teased him about anything.

I think the locker room thing really is a red herring as mentioned before. I think it was invented to reinforce conformity. Kids can be teased over anything.

Since when is surgery performed because of fear of school bullies?

 

[glongley]

I asked my older intact son (now 26) if he was ever teased in the locker room for being intact. Answer: No. (He's a man of few words). So I asked what would you do if anyone ever made a comment about you being intact. Answer: I'd ignore them.

End of conversation.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

I had an opportunity today to discuss circumcision with a few young people who worked at a business in the mall where I attended a nurse in. I had two young ladies, one of which was pregnant, and a young man. I asked him about the locker room teasing issue and he laughed and said very strongly "You don't look down! You just don't do that."
Edited to add that this guy is 24 years old.

 

[newmommy7-08]

DH is circ'd but I asked him about this once when we were having the discussions about keeping DS intact... not that it would have swayed me. He said there was a kid on his football team who was intact. It was noticed, because whether they admit it or not guys do compare themselves to each other (in their own minds) in a group shower setting. No one ever said a word to this intact guy... because what guy in their right mind is going to admit to checking out another guy in a roomful of 1/2 naked and fully naked guys?

 

[amydiane]

DH is intact and grew up in an area with a large population of people who circ for religious/cultural reasons. He was teased for other things, but never that.

 

[nd_deadhead]

My twin sons just finished 10th grade. They have phys ed in school, including 3 weeks of swimming each year.

They have no idea of their best friends are circumcised or not, but considering that we live in a very high-circ-rate region, I'm guessing they probably are. The boys don't know because they don't look, and they don't ask. No one has ever commented on the state of their penises - but then, my sons don't go parading around the locker room naked (heck, they don't even like to change clothes in front of each other).

If anyone ever DID comment on the fact that they have foreskins, they have both told me that they would simply ask "Why are you looking?"

My DH is circumcised, and it has never been an issue for the boys. When they were little, the things they noticed about their Dad's genitals was that they were much bigger than theirs, and hairy. Sure, they noticed that his glans was expposed, but it never occured to them that his foreksin had actually been cut off - why would it? They simply assumed that he kept his foreskin pulled back. When they did learn about circumcision (at age 8), they were horrified, and the older they get, the more strongly they are opposed to infant circumcision. They were disgusted when my little brother had his son cut 3 years ago.

My DH and his brother were in their 40s when they learned that their Dad had been intact. Obviously they didn't spend a lot of time comparing penises. I think that's the case for most families.

 

[jenP]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa Kids get teased for all sorts of things. Including being intact if that is the minority. I don't think it helps anything to say it never happens; it's just a matter of whether that information should have an effect on anyone's decision.

Good point!! I think that it is disingenuous to pretend locker room teasing never happens. Maybe it happens far, far less than many men would imagine, but it does happen so to say that it does not and will not is not quite true.
But even if you could say with 100% certainty that this baby boy WILL be teased as an adolescent for having a foreskin.... is that REALLY a reason to cut it off?? Of course not! Heck, I was teased all through high school for stuff I did on purpose, like dress funny and dye my hair orange. If being teased by shallow classmates was really so awful, I could have simply chosen to not dye my hair orange, but I chose to be myself rather than conform and not be teased. How could any prospective parent think that they KNOW their son would be willing to part with his foreskin to avoid a few years of teasing, if I couldn't even part with a bottle of peroxide?
It all comes back again, as usual, to the circumcised father trying to justify his own circumcision. They have to feel like they were cut for a reason, and it makes them feel good to think that they avoided years of unbearable locker-room teasing because they were circumcised. Something like, "thank goodness my parents circumcised me as a baby so I avoided the sure sentence of years of teasing! I have to do the same favor for my son!" For a circumcised father, it can be tough to face up the the facts that a-it is very unlikely that his son will ever be teased for his intact status and that b- even if he is, high school is a short time in your life and c-with confidence in himself and compassion for others, he can deal with teasing without it being a big deal, and d- anyone who teases him for being intact is just acting on their own insecurities for being circumcised. And so, many husbands cling to the "locker room" myth. And by myth, I don't mean to say that teasing never happens, I have seen it myself, but I mean it is a myth to think that circumcision is a solution to the remote possibility of maybe some fleeting time of being teased by shallow people some years down the road.

As for the question of the OP, the "locker room" teasing I witnessed was never to the face actual teasing. It was more like college room mates and dorm mates telling their friends and girlfriends that "so and so" has an "anteater," delivered in hushed tones and giggles. Certainly these guys were just looking to hear that their penises were okay. I'm sure the guy in question may have been stung by knowing they were calling him gross behind his back, but I didn't see him running out to have surgery because of it. I'm sure he had the satisfaction of knowing he had all his body parts and all his sexual nerve endings in place. Besides, he was the dorm "weirdo" anyway for reasons having nothing to do with his penis, so they would have teased him anyway. He didn't seem to care, he liked who he was and didn't seem to care if others thought he was cool or if his penis looked right to them.

So in summary, yeah teasing probably does happen from time to time, but I don't see how that could ever be a reason to circumcise a baby.

Jen

 

[hakunangovi]

I think that locker room teasing is as close to a myth as you can get. I was sent to a boarding school at the age of 6 and spent my entire grade school career in them. Every one had totaly open, communal rooms for baths and showers. In elementary school everyone looked and knew the status of his friends. We were even categorised (amongst ourselves) as either "roundheads" if you were circumcised or "cavaliers" if you were intact. The ratio was roughly 1/3 intact to 2/3 circumcised. Not once did I ever witness teasing based on circumcision status. The notion of being called queer if you were caught looking did not appear on anyone's radar until well into high school, and even then you could not help but notice. It was just accepted that everyone was different. If anything it was likely the circumcised guys who felt bad - I know I did - because it was quite obvious that we were missing something.

 

[crystalcoast]

No locker room stories here, but a story nonetheless. I'm intact, and years ago was at a now defunct movie theater. I ended up having to pee, so off to bathroom I went. I didn't see, however, this little kid come in behind me. I get a urinal & he goes right next to me. As a side note, my foreskin has always been rather short, but when pulling myself out to pee, it doesn't take much to cover my glans completely. So I hear next to me 'Hey... what's that?'. I don't even think to respond, as my head was muddled from allergies. I finish up peeing, & go to wash my hands. As I get to the sink, the kid's already out the door, & I hear him say, in front of God, the whole lobby, and his mom 'Hey mom... there's a man in the bathroom with skin all over the end of his thing!!'. Very embarrassing to say the least, and ever since, I avoid urinals.

 

[hakunangovi]

As I get to the sink, the kid's already out the door, & I hear him say, in front of God, the whole lobby, and his mom 'Hey mom... there's a man in the bathroom with skin all over the end of his thing!!'. Very embarrassing to say the least, and ever since, I avoid urinals.

You should be proud and very thankful of your intact status. On the bright side, maybe you prompted an uncomfortable explanation on the part of the kid's mother. Who would want to explain why they cut off part of their kid's penis ! I think parents who perform genital reduction surgery on their sons should be held accountable.

 

[momhouse]

hey, i have a friend, pg with her second (unknown sex). dh wants to cut, mom doesn't. dad is worried 'the locker room'. so i told her i would gather some stories about how much of a non issue it is. i know i've read some accounts of kids talking about the locker room.

thanks!

I totally agree with the others that suggest boys don't look at each other in the locker room. I have intact twin boys and both were asked a few years ago during the sex talk. They said no one would be caught dead looking at another boy and never ever say anything.... ever. At their school they actually did not require full nude showers either. It is different today than it was 20+ years ago.

I even asked if any of their friends were intact and they honestly seemed to have to no clue. Myth busted.