[BirthLovinMomma]

Please don't forget that this adjustment period could also be bad. This woman should absolutely NOT be alone, for a long period of time, for the safety of the childen. It is not a rare occurence that some anti-depressants can cause a different, even more severe, depression or episodes of mood swings. And they can also cause someone to be a zombie, also not good for taking care of children. My main worry here is that she will seem nearly sedated for a week, then comes a *snap* and all of these children are now in body bags. DO NOT MESS WITH MOOD DISORDERS! Even if she is very lucky to have found the right mix of drugs right off the bat (highly doubtful considering she is taking doula Zoloft + Xanax + Alcohol), she should still be under the supervision of a good psychiatrist for her disorder, and those children should be under better supervision than someone will either severe depression, bi-polar disorder, or pppsychosis...who is an alcoholic. Get that husband to realize that when his kids are dead, or worse, he will not be so worried about getting food on the table. Get this family help, FAST!!<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>snugglebug14</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10962514"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">well, she seems to be doing better. everyone seems to think that this was just her "adjustment period" to all of the psych meds, which the dr told her would happy. It is just so scary to me that they would knowingly put a mom on meds that would this when they know she is home all day with a 1 yr old and a 3 month old. She is finally lucid, clear headed and seeming stable at the moment. Hopefully things stay this way. Thanks for the support!</div>
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[snugglebug14]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BirthLovinMomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10970107"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Please don't forget that this adjustment period could also be bad. This woman should absolutely NOT be alone, for a long period of time, for the safety of the childen. It is not a rare occurence that some anti-depressants can cause a different, even more severe, depression or episodes of mood swings. And they can also cause someone to be a zombie, also not good for taking care of children. My main worry here is that she will seem nearly sedated for a week, then comes a *snap* and all of these children are now in body bags. DO NOT MESS WITH MOOD DISORDERS! Even if she is very lucky to have found the right mix of drugs right off the bat (highly doubtful considering she is taking doula Zoloft + Xanax + Alcohol), she should still be under the supervision of a good psychiatrist for her disorder, and those children should be under better supervision than someone will either severe depression, bi-polar disorder, or pppsychosis...who is an alcoholic. Get that husband to realize that when his kids are dead, or worse, he will not be so worried about getting food on the table. Get this family help, FAST!!</div>
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I totally understand what you are trying to say, and I am in a place of being clear headed enough to not be upset by your comments. But, for future reference, when someone's loved one is going through something so difficult talking so nonchalantly about her killing her children is not the most sympathetic and supportive thing. It is not just that simple when you are in the midst of it.

 

[onlyboys]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Kristen.<br><br>
If she's refusing treatment and your brother is unwilling to put her in treatment involuntarily, then I don't know how much you can do, except what you're doing--being worried, present, and vocal about your concerns.

 

[Paige CPM]

Hi Kristen,<br><br>
If your SIL were my client I would be contacting Deborah Issokson, based in Wellesley. She is a psychotherapist and expert on PPD and reproductive counseling. I would want to discuss the issues, listen to what she has to say, and see if I could get a referral from her of someone experienced in PPD to see your SIL. Check out her website here...<br><br><a href="http://www.reproheart.com/about/cv.html" target="_blank">http://www.reproheart.com/about/cv.html</a><br><br>
I would NEVER refer a client who has some of the serious issues you have mentioned to just any MD or psychotherapist...may practitioners just don't have enough experience and training with PPD to deal with the issue properly and the outcomes of a bad patient/doctor match can be devastating.<br><br>
Good luck and strength to you and your family.

 

[BirthLovinMomma]

First, let me say that I come from the point of being from a family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc...not just immediate family) with high instance of mood disorders. On my mother's side, a very large family, atleast 75% of the family (blood-relatives) has a mood disorder, or varing degrees of severity. I also had severe ppd after my 2nd child, diagnosed depression before kids as well. AND had a friend with PPP. I promise that I do not refer to your SIL nonchalantly when I say she could kill her children. It is just a very hard truth that it could happen, in an instant. I do not believe your SIL is a bad person. I pass NO judgement on her or her situation. I just do not want to see her left alone with those babies without supervision because the reality is that she most likely does have severe ppd, if not PPP, and could very easily snap into harming them, especially if she is combining her drugs with alcohol. I know this situation is complicated and I understand that, really, I do. However, no one is going to care one bit about tip-toeing around the issues, hurting feelings, or "seeing" if the drugs have been effective if something happens to those kids. So what I am saying is, hope for best case scenario, but PLAN for worst-case. You'd never want to live with the guilt that you didn't do enough to save someone's life. KWIM?<br><br>
I apologize if my original post was harsh. It was not intended to be mean. It was intended to be an un-sugar-coated reality of possiblities....that I hope NEVER happens! I want to be supportive, but with this sort of a serious issue, it is hard for me to just hope everything will be okay. Harming one's children is not a common, but we've all seen it in the news and I would just absolutely hate for it to ever happen again.<br><br>
(((hugs))) to you for all you are trying to do. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated!<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>snugglebug14</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10975635"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I totally understand what you are trying to say, and I am in a place of being clear headed enough to not be upset by your comments. But, for future reference, when someone's loved one is going through something so difficult talking so nonchalantly about her killing her children is not the most sympathetic and supportive thing. It is not just that simple when you are in the midst of it.</div>
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[tresleo]

I just want to comment on BirthLovinMomma's post - it may have sounded harsh, but that's because the severity of what you are describing is harsh - not because she was being uncaring or cruel.<br><br>
Sometimes, things put bluntly can be construed as judgmental or mean, but having suffered through PPD myself, and knowing someone who did not make it through her battle with PPP...well, I don't think words should be minced when dealing with what's going on here.

 

[mwherbs]

yep , this stuff is very serious. I wrote out and erased several "warning" stories. We have a society that pretty much supports isolation. Families often have quite a bit of pressure to be in denial. One gal I knew through LLL had her 3rd baby I went by to see her all her family lived in another state. She answered the door completely nude, talked to me about some normal things and some very unusual things. Now I know that nude is normal for some folks but not her. Where is DH, well he was fed up and left her, just packed up and left her with the kids. (he felt that she was being irresponsible on purpose!) Her circle of friends were concerned but did not think that they should interfere. One or 2 could be organized to baby sit the kids , today I would have probably had her hospitalized, what I did I talked her into calling her folks and I spoke to them . Someone came to take her back home. They didn't even know DH had left, and they thought she was just a little odd on the phone. Since you have seen some unusual behavior, I would encourage you to go over and assess again spend hours, very often someone can hold it together for short burst of time.<br>
take care

 

[storychick]

You may also wish to be careful at her sudden "recovery" -- sometimes that can be a sign of either a break with reality (no reason to be upset/struggling if the problems "arent there") or a suicide plan (why be upset, you have a solution!). I hope all turns out well for her.