[mamashanti]

I am almost 7.5 months postpartum, and I have been saying I need more "support" from day one, but I can't even say what that is- I don't need or want people bringing food over. I don't have any family who lives nearby, and most of my friends are either self-centered single childless people who are flaky, OR busy stressed out parents like me. There isn't really anyone to give me the support I need.

What I really need is TIME to myself. But... i can't really get it. When I finally do have the opportunity to have time alone, i'm so exhausted from taking care of my baby all day I just want to lay in bed or on the couch and stay in my house- but then my husband is there with the baby and i hear her and i just can't get away.

I think it would be nice if my friends would just call/text and ask me how i am doing. that is ALL i want. that would make me feel supported. HOW do I get them to do that?? I just feel so lonely and like no one is there for me at all- I am home alone with baby all day from 7am-7pm most days.. but thankfully my husband is a teacher and he is finished with school in 2 weeks.

I wish I had more support this whole time, I am just now realizing how ridiculously hard it has been- it's not that I'm inadequate it's that its completely UNREALISTIC to expect a woman to be able to take care of a household herself- cook, clean, laundry, dishes, shopping, etc AND be the sole provider for an infant all day long, AND take care of her basic needs of feeding herself, showering, dressing, exercising, etc. It's exhausting and I'm feeling so depleted. We really need to live in community- a communal house with other parents or a eco-village intentional community type thing, living alone is so isolating and depressing

 

[sparatikness]

So sorry it's been hard! Isolation is hard and friends not calling is hurtful. You're right, being expected to do all that IS unrealistic so you do what you can, and I bet you're doing awesome.

I don't have much support either. What to do? Don't know except try to do my best. I'm trying to get through PPD/PPA at the moment which is probably a bit from feeling unsupported. But we will get through this!!! Can you get together with other moms? Reach out, don't be shy. You'll be glad you did.

 

[mamacari]

Holy Basil!!!!

Hi you guys. I just wanted to pass on what a dear friend passed on to me. The doctors don't seem to know about this, but it really helped me. Holy Basil! Get it in the liquid, it's better than the pills. I used it along with St. Johns Wort and some Omega 3's and it helped so, so much! Also, it made my periods lighter. It wasn't over night and it didn't make me all wild and excited, it just helped me feel more like me!

 

[StephenStevens]

You can just tell them that you need more support. People do not realize these things. Trust me, if you expressed yourself openly, they would be much more forthcoming and considerate towards you.