[Andrew1023]

Hey everyone I'm feeling so lost my wife of 2 1/2 years been together for 8 years told me 4 weeks ago she isn't in love with me anymore we have a 4 year old son logan and just had a 5 month lana every since we had lana feels like my wife has been distant and seems like she's more irritable towards our son which before lana she did everything with him and he slept with us for 3 1/2 years in bed. But she came home work and she had a look like a deer in the headlights and told me she's so stressed out all the time and doesn't think it's there for her anymore towards me she says she's been trying for so long to make it work and I should have seen it coming..I'm like No i didn't see it coming just a couple of days before she was telling me how much she loves me and we bought 700 dollars worth of flooring for our trailer I was a wreak after she told me so I went for a drive and she texted me saying come home so we can talk so I did and she said she would put her best foot forward and give it a good try and told me she would go to counseling and try to work it out but I shouldn't get my hopes up because she doesn't think it can be repaired on her end.


So I was a wreak after that I was doin every little thing for her which seemed to push her away even more the first night I came home she let me cuddle with her then after that every night she put the baby in between us she is breastfeeding and basically she moved out I have tryed everything everything to get her back no even put 416 pictures together and put it in our sons bag so we she had him she would find them I got no response nothing she is being so cold towards me won't talk to me unless it has to do with the kids I try to bring the baby to the car for her she snaps at me and says she can don't won't let me do anything for her. She won't text me I get one word answers and now she won't try the counselor and if I text her or call she doesn't want to talk unless it has to do with the kids I tell her this doesn't make sense and she says it doesn't have to I love this girl with all my heart I'm feelibg so lost how can 8 years of feelings go away and we havnt had sex for like 6 months any input on this. If she does have it will it go away? Sorry for the long post

 

[MeepyCat]

Eight years of feelings can just go away. Or there could have been something that happened that she doesn't want to talk about. Or whatever. Maybe your wife has post-partum depression, and maybe it's not the key factor in her feeling like she wants to break up.

Give your wife the respect of believing what she says to you when she says what she wants.

Sometimes relationships end, and sometimes we understand why and sometimes we don't. The end of a relationship can be really emotionally painful, and there is no getting around that.

 

[Katica]

I does sound like postpartum depression to me. And although feelings can go away they can also return over time. You say she is also distant with your son, that just really sounds like depression to me. She really needs to get help for that because even leaving you will not solve the underlying issue.


I think you are doing your best. Give her the space she needs and try not to pressure her as it would just push her away further.

I was really touched out/irritated after my third child was born. Even a gentle touch would hurt. Over time however, things started to get brighter.
Try to be patient with her.

 

[transylvania_mom]

When you have a fight with your postpartum wife you:
- don't go out for a ride leaving her with a 5 mo old and a 4 year old
- don't ask for cuddles
- don't spend your time on the computer putting together 416 pictures.

My advice would be:
- ask her if she needs help with the laundry or dinner - make a habit of it
- take both kids to the park for an hour - let mom rest
- stop asking for physical affection for a while
- don't let her down when things are tough for her

Just my two cents. If you really love her, just be in the trenches with her. It won't be forever, I promise.

 

[StepGirlfriend]

I'm sorry your family is going through this. It is always hard to understand other people and their thoughts, especially if it's out of the norm for you. It really sounds like you are trying hard and doing things to improve the situation but she is not receptive to those things. I would recommend going to a counselor by yourself. They might be able to give you some more useful tools for coping with this sudden change in your wife and help you get through to her as well.

Good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best.

 

[AskBecca]

I am a psychology student, and a mom of an awesome two year old little guy. I wanted to get in contact with MaMa's who are going to be delivering soon about an idea I had.

I was wondering if any of you using either a Doula, Midwife, or Doctor have been given any information about Post Partum Depression signs and symptoms to watch out for after delivery? Where you could find help? How to deal with symptoms of anxiety/depression until you could meet with a health care professional? How your spouse can spot symptoms, and how they can help support you in finding help?

Do you think it would be helpful to get all this information together in like a pamphlet, or a refrigerator magnet so that you can have it around the house to read after the baby? Incase you feel like you are having more then just a little of the "baby blues."

Please let me know, because it is something I feel strongly about trying to help women with.

 

[StephenStevens]

Hey everyone I'm feeling so lost my wife of 2 1/2 years been together for 8 years told me 4 weeks ago she isn't in love with me anymore we have a 4 year old son logan and just had a 5 month lana every since we had lana feels like my wife has been distant and seems like she's more irritable towards our son which before lana she did everything with him and he slept with us for 3 1/2 years in bed. But she came home work and she had a look like a deer in the headlights and told me she's so stressed out all the time and doesn't think it's there for her anymore towards me she says she's been trying for so long to make it work and I should have seen it coming..I'm like No i didn't see it coming just a couple of days before she was telling me how much she loves me and we bought 700 dollars worth of flooring for our trailer I was a wreak after she told me so I went for a drive and she texted me saying come home so we can talk so I did and she said she would put her best foot forward and give it a good try and told me she would go to counseling and try to work it out but I shouldn't get my hopes up because she doesn't think it can be repaired on her end.

So I was a wreak after that I was doin every little thing for her which seemed to push her away even more the first night I came home she let me cuddle with her then after that every night she put the baby in between us she is breastfeeding and basically she moved out I have tryed everything everything to get her back no even put 416 pictures together and put it in our sons bag so we she had him she would find them I got no response nothing she is being so cold towards me won't talk to me unless it has to do with the kids I try to bring the baby to the car for her she snaps at me and says she can don't won't let me do anything for her. She won't text me I get one word answers and now she won't try the counselor and if I text her or call she doesn't want to talk unless it has to do with the kids I tell her this doesn't make sense and she says it doesn't have to I love this girl with all my heart I'm feelibg so lost how can 8 years of feelings go away and we havnt had sex for like 6 months any input on this. If she does have it will it go away? Sorry for the long post

Perhaps your problem is sexual in nature? Have in mind that couples require sex in order to remain close together. Then again, lack of sex might have been caused by her sudden loss of interest. Who knows, people change. Anyway, I am really sorry to hear about this, I hope that things will get better for you!