[Spring Sun]

I don't smoke AT ALL, but dh does occasionally. I found out that he did the night before we ttc. I know that it lowers sperm count, but the the other literature I am reading online is showing conflicting info about quality. It says that some sperm will be slower and abnormal. But, if the sperm are slower, then the chances of the abnormal sperm reaching the egg are low, right? Also, some site say that it takes 90 days off pot to get the sperm back to normal, some say 30, some say a few days.

I know this is a weird question, but I am sure some of you have husbands that smoke. I personally have nothing against it and think it is much better than drinking, it just makes me paranoid so I don't smoke it myself.

Does anyone know what the risks actually are?

Are we being too anxious about making the perfect baby? It seems like we obsess over any little possible toxin. He thinks that even when the literature says that there are no birth defects, etc...it does not mean that whatever the toxin is (coffee, a medicine, etc..) does not make it so that baby is a little less intelligent, or has slightly worse fine motor skills, etc...He thinks that we'll never know. Even though ds is perfect in every way

, dh still says "what if you were not on that med when you got pregnant? He could have been better in xyz way."

I just am not sure if we should have everything be absolutely perfect. It would take me two years to get my body to that point, if ever, bc I have crohn's disease. Any help here would be greatly appreciated. He is driving me crazy with wanting me to create the perfect womb, and I am not sure if that is possible.

I am sure some of you will have strong opinions either way, and I would love to hear them. Thanks!

 

[NewDirections]

Quote:

I don't smoke AT ALL, but dh does occasionally. I found out that he did the night before we ttc.

Once sperm is produced in the teste, it goes to the epididymis to mature. The maturation process can take 2 1/2 months. So if you get pregnant this cycle, the sperm would have been produced before Halloween.

 

[lalalola]

DH told the DR that he smokes occassionally and the DR replied "do you smoke as soon as you wake up in the am and continue all day and everyday?" (which was a big NO from DH). Our DR said not to be concerned about occassional usuage.

 

[catemom]

Okay,

I will admit to not knowing much about birth effects, sperm, and mj smoking, but if it were me, I would certainly err on the side of caution. I would at least insist that DH takes a good men's multivitamin every day and has a reasonably healthy diet if he insists on indulging in such things often. I DO know that mj has a pretty potent diuretic effect, so he could be unknowingly dehydrating himself or leaching nutrients from his body.

I understand your DH's thinking, I'm always wondering if DS would have been smarter or somehow "better" if I had just not eaten so many cookies in my first trimester or if I hadn't been induced and c/s'ed. I think we need to focus on what we can control and what we know is bad for us and our babies.

Sorry about your Crohn's, my DH has been in remission since I met him, but we're always really concerned if he gets a bad stomach ache. Anyway, I hope your ttc goes well--take good care of yourself!

 

[Norasmomma]

This is a little OT, but one of the best things for Crohn's disease patients is the use of mj. In WA state it is one of the conditions for medical mj and one of our family member's has Crohn's and that is the only thing that has ever helped him. Just an FYI.

On the OT, my DH has smoked and did when we conceived DD, she is super smart 2 y/o. Both of his brother's have also smoked and both have 4 beautiful children. From what I have seen personally I know a LOT of men who have fathered beautiful healthy children and have smoked mj. I think if a man were baseline already with low count that would effect it, but the average, healthy man I just don't think it has that effect. All of the men that I know who have smoked mj are healthy, active men so it may lower count a bit, but not enough to really matter.

Now as a woman creating the most healthy womb possible by eating well, taking pre-natals, exercising and just being healthful that really matters. You know there are women who make the "perfect" womb and still things happen, unfortunately that's life, but if he wants to be proactive in creating the perfect womb, then maybe he should look at his habits also....it takes 2 to make a child.

 

[mama*pisces]

FWIW, my DH used to be an avid pot smoker, and our (pleasant surprise) ds is now 2 and a half and is perfectly healthy.

And think of all the 60's and 70's babies who came out okay

...I think you guys will be fine. It wouldn't hurt to have your dh take a multi and eat healthy, but I would try not to worry about it too much.

 

[Snapdragon]

I personally think there is so much ( false- imo) negative propoganda about pot!
I happen to live in an area of the country where many people smoke- both men and women.
And all their babies are amazing and healthy.
I seriously do not think it will hurt the baby.

I have friends who are serious pot smokers and get their wives pregnant with beautiful healthy amazing kids all the time!

Ironically for me, my dh happens to not smoke pot ( which I say ironically being that there is a lot of usage of it in our area) and he is currently dealing with no sperm.

 

[Spring Sun]

Thank you guys! That is all so helpful. It is good to know that it would be the sperm before Halloween bc he did go on a pot binge over the Thxgiving week.

I would love it if I could smoke pot. Every few years I will try it once when I am really sick to see if it will help, and I always get paranoid and really weird on it-unless I am drinking. And drinking is bad for crohn's and a no no for conception. My whole family has crohn's, and one of my sisters and one of my brothers have tried it and it makes them paranoid too, so it may be genetic. I wish I could smoke it, as I would rather do that than drink, but no luck.

I agree that we can only do what we can do. But, what can we do? I have major anxiety (which sets of my crohn's) so I am taking category b drugs for that. One crohn's drug I stopped today is category d, although all dr's swear it is safe AND I was on it for three weeks before I knew ds was conceived. The other crohn's drug is B. So, I am on three category b drugs that I NEED to be on and that they say are okay. Dh just thinks that there are things they can't test for, and only test the obvious (defects, disorders, and IQ).

I am just ready. I am fertile. We dtd yesterday, why not just go for it? It is all karma anyways, right? I believe whatever soul chooses us will choose us based on the path and life it needs to live. Really, we are out of control of most things. We are both healthy, exercise, eat well, take vitamins, etc...I was healthy during my last pregnancy and had a short homebirth. And we are good parents. Some kid needs us. That is my philosophy, anyways. He is making me a romantic dinner tonight and we are going to talk about it. (and hopefully do something about it

)

Thanks for all the feedback!

 

[MoonStarFalling]

Personally I think the soda drinking and cig smoking is what make dh's semen analysis come back so bad (um like non swimming sperm lol). I really don't think occasional pot had much to do with it. I had him stop everything and take Fertilaid instead. It took a few months (making new sperm and all) but we got pg.

 

[lisko15]

: I have to admit this thread really surprises me. Perhaps I'm overly conservative... but I guess I'm happy that way.

DD's dad, my exH... smoked pot, probably too much of it. Eventually the pot didn't "work" anymore so he turned to crack and some other various opiates.

This caused him to leave DD and I when she was 6 months old. Of course, he "tried" to come back a year later when he decided to go cold turkey off drugs - only to end up in detox and hurting me all over again. We have custody/visitation issues to this day.

So I guess I'm bitter. The only thing drugs have accomplished in my ex's life is to make him a disgruntled, abrasive person who thinks everyone is out to get him, nothing is his fault and that he doesn't need to pay child support regularly. However, he can still afford beer and pot.

There... I ranted. In closing, all I can say is if DD, my stepDS, or this baby DH & I are currently trying to make, decided when they were teenagers (or adults) that they wanted to smoke pot... I would be very, very sad....

:

 

[gruver]

when i conceived my DS my ex and i were BOTH smoking a LOT of pot and i was even doing cocaine (not proud, i was 18). DS is now an incredibly intelligent 10 year old. (too smart for me, sometimes lol)

i think you'll be fine.

 

[Norasmomma]

lisko15-I'm sorry that your ex is like that. I can understand where you are coming from, but to me it sounds like he just has issues in general. Not everyone who smokes a little mj turns into a total loser. My DH personally is one amazing father and he has(and does) occasionally smoke. It of course really depends on a person's addictive behavior, it sounds to me like your ex has super addictive tendencies and for him pot was the staring off point, but that doesn't ring true for everyone(just like anything).

 

[Spring Sun]

Thanks for your response, Lis, I appreciate it all. I can understand why you would feel that way.

I really honestly would prefer for dh to smoke pot every now and then than to drink. He is 32 and does not do any other drugs, has a master's degree in counseling psychology (me too), and works really hard with developmentally disabled people to change their lives and meditates and exercises everyday. He would never smoke at work or if alone with ds. He has been the best father in the world, and I think the pot for him is like taking a long, hot bubble bath for me. He is really sensible, to the point that he wants us to be as healthy and centered as can be when we conceive.

That being said...we had a long talk and decided we should go for it! FF says my best chances are from Dec 2nd-9th (I have had long cycles), so we have been bding.If we don't get pregnant this month he will not smoke at all until we do and get checked. But I have a feeling he is fine. The first time he ever finished in me I got pregnant, so... Wish me luck!

 

[lisko15]

Stacey (& Norasmomma) -

First off, I don't want to come across like I was saying every husband or daddy that smokes pot ends up being a "bad" husband or daddy. That would be a total generalization.

My ex does have plenty of issues, which most likely led to the pot. However, it certainly wasn't his only thing to turn to for relief. I just look at him now - and he is a completely different person than he was 12 years ago - and I blame that partially on the drug use.

I guess what weirded me out about this thread was the total acceptance of occasional drug use. But then, I already admitted to being terribly conservative. I just wonder if we all will really be happy if our kids choose to use drugs in the future.

That said, on a totally different and happier note... I hope you get your BFP soon Stacey!

 

[MoonStarFalling]

That's a question better asked in the parenting forum IMO.

 

[Spring Sun]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonStarFalling That's a question better asked in the parenting forum IMO.

No, it is not a parenting issue-I am sure we are both good parents and I don't think occasional pot smoking by my dh is a problem, I just wondered what the effects were on sperm, and also just wanted to talk about our worries about having everything perfectly perfect in order to conceive. That's all

I did not want to start a debate on if pot was bad or not or if parents should smoke it or not, just was looking for support

 

[MoonStarFalling]

Spring Sun if you read the thread you'll see that I have already replied to the question of pot affecting sperm.

Quote:

I just wonder if we all will really be happy if our kids choose to use drugs in the future.

THIS is a parenting question.

 

[Spring Sun]

Sorry! I am easily worked up!