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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Background:<br>
dd1 will be 3 in Spetmeber. We did EC very casually from about 4-6 months on, and by 18 mos she was signalling to us when she needed to go. But we moved when she was two, then had a baby when she was almost 2 1/2, so she's had a lot of major changes in her life. Each time things settle down, she gets more consistent: Once we settled into the new house, she had fewer 'accidents', just in time for a new sister to throw things off again. Well, we're still recovering from the baby. She wets the bed almost every night, we're going through 3-4 pairs of pants each day, she has more "misses" than our ec'd infant some days!<br>
I've posted about this before, but most of the advice is about backing up. But, she will NOT wear diapers. She hasn't for 6 months, in fact, when we first moved, getting her into a diaper for nighttime was such a struggle (it would take an hour of screaming sometimes, and I told dh I felt like we were violating her, so we stopped it), that's why we went to diaperless nights. She has had several periods of dry nights for days or weeks, but right now we're in an 'off' time I guess.<br><br>
How can I encourage her in a healthy way? Both dh and I sometimes react poorly, and I know that's a problem, but it's hard not to after so long having to clean up so many messes.<br>
I'd like to find some bedwetter pad too.
 

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Oh, you have all my sympathy. My DS is just turning 2 but we've been thru the EC mill with him lately. He was doing so great until a few months ago when he first went on strike then got sick and he's never been quite the same since. For me the poo is the worst...especially as we hardly dealt with it before.<br><br>
Anyway it has been slightly better lately. He doesn't like to be cleaned up after a poo so we have been trying to explain to him that if he goes in the potty we won't have to clean him up and his bottom won't get sore from rash/redness; that pee pee and poo poo is good to get out but bad to leave on his skin Also we talk about the difference between "big boys" and "babies". Basically we are trying to explaain everything...<br><br>
However he is still perfectly happy wearing a diaper.<br><br>
So I don't have any great advice for you but I completely empathize with the difficulty you are facing. Plus most of the EC boards are focused on babies not older toddler setbacks so its hard to find advice.
 

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I keep dreaming about making a wool pad for the bed & topping it w/towels or something, but we're still using the ol' rubberized flannel crib pad thing.<br><br>
I dunno if this is relevent to you or not, but I've just been realizing how much food allergies affect DD's ECing. She has a known cow's milk allergy & probable soy allergy. I just figured out the other day that she has a ton of pee misses when she eats Purely O's. She doesn't do it w/her other "cheerios," but I haven't been able to pinpoint what exactly the ingredient is that's causing the problem. Anyway, have you looked into the allergy angle?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I haven't considered allergies, but I wouldn't know where to start! Hmm I'll give it some thoguht though, thanks<br>
Glad to know I'm not the only one!
 

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Does she seem upset about the accidents? She really has to WANT to be accident-free in order to make it happen. If she doesn't seem to care, then she doesn't really have any motivation to make it to use the potty consistently. "Upset" doesn't have to mean that she starts crying or anything like that, but I know some kids who will wet their pants and then just keep on playing with wet pants on. Or some kids will take off their wet pants, but still just keep playing without telling their parents or asking for dry pants or anything.<br><br>
If she does seem upset, then I would try to bring her to the potty twice as often as you have been, explaining that one way to keep from having accidents is to go to the potty more often. If that's a no go (I know some kids won't pee on demand), then I'd have her be naked as much as possible. If that doesn't help, you could introduce some incentives, like stickers or chocolate chips or whatever. I know it's hard to imagine using rewards of that kind, but I've heard that since there is no real external motivation to use the potty (aside from not having to wear diapers. . . which she's already experiencing), that rewards of this kind can really work with potty learning. Definitely only push the positive reinforcement. . . no negative reactions to wetting at all.<br><br>
But if she doesn't seem self-motivated to use the potty, I would seriously try to get her back in diapers of some sort (maybe a really absorbent and waterproof cloth training pant?). Because until she's really ready, it's just going to do bad things for your relationship with her if she's always having accidents with no end in sight.<br><br>
My ds potty-trained at 25 months and was immediately dry at night and naps and everything. But then a few weeks in, he started wetting the bed occassionally, maybe 1-3 times a week, and we decided that we'd all sleep better if he were wearing a diaper. He was pretty resistant, but we explained that it was for "just incase" he peed in his sleep. He takes the diaper off first thing in the morning, and even though it's usually dry, it's so nice to have the peace of mind that's he's wearing it. We're all sleeping through the night again.<br><br>
HTH~<br><br>
Lex
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
She often doesn't seem bothered by it, maybe somewhat at night, but one odd thing is she will sometimes refuse to take off her wet pants... maybe she *likes* being wet?<br><br>
We already did the rewards thing when dd2 was first born, m&m's then stickers, and it only worked for as long as we gave them, and for a little while after. I don't want to go back to them because I'm in the middle of reading Alfie Kohn's book "Punished by Rewards" and I agree with what he's saying.<br><br>
As far as 'taking' her anywhere, she's just not that kind of kid...<br>
And naked? she usually is. And you're right about accidents and our relationship.
 
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