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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my ds#1 is not training well. I am trying hard to remember that it is his decision and not take this personally. It is very hard when I know he has the ability to do it. He was going on the potty for almost ten days straight with just a few gentle reminders to help him along. most of the time he did it on his own. I think we had even gotten to the point of being accident free for like 3 days. He was doing great and you could tell it made him really proud and happy to do it. We would get very excited. sing songs when he went. We had put up a calender that he got to put stickers on when he went. I just dont understand why he would stop.<br><br>
Anyway now when he goes in his pants after refusing to sit on the potty and try. at obvious times when I know he has to go. He comes to me gets in my face and in a sing song voice says "i went in my pants ne ne ne ne ne ne" Now I undersand he is a kid and needs to excert himself but this seems over the top to me like he is just trying to get under my skin about it. It has been such a long road and i feel very frustrated. How can i not take this personally when he seems to be directing it at me? It is efecting my relationship with him. I know that sounds awful but I find myself feeling resentful. I need help. Please be kind in your responses i feel like a loser as it is.<br><br>
I know i should just let it go, but i am really sick of changing almost adult poop. Are all of these feelings horrible? anyone eles out there had trouble with this?<br><br>
This is not about me I know. I need to find a way to help him.<br><br>
thanks,<br>
iris
 

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i'm sorry that i have no sound advice (my dd's almost three so i was reading for answers...) but i thought i'd let you know that my incredibly gifted nephew was ALMOST impossible to potty train - it took my poor SIL so long and he really dragged it out. there's a great story about both of their sons being given one last package of diapers, that should last about a month, and then that would be that; no more diapers, ever. after about a week of the diapers only at night the younger brother (2 years younger!) said, no thank you i don't need it to the nighttime diaper. SIL tried to reason with the older one that if his little brother...yada, yada, yada,...<br>
Aidan grabbed his covers, pulled them up to his chin, yelled, "I WANT MY THIRTY DAYS!" turned over and went to sleep. at the end of the package he was done.<br>
i really hope it will happen for your child soon.<br>
i'm sorry it's tying you up in knots.<br>
for what it's worth, I WANT MY THIRTY DAYS is my mantra when i'm really struggling with a parenting issue. it makes me chuckle and then gently reminds me i'm dealing with a whole other tiny human.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You know that little boy sounds just like my son. He is gifted and intelligent. I think he would go for a time limit. like this pck of diapers or a certain day. He keeps telling me I will go tomorrow or in a week. so maybe I will try it. Thankyou for replying<br>
I hope things start to work out for you and your daughter.<br><br>
thanks iris
 

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Good luck! My dd, very sensitive and intelligent, was gently pushed by us into potty use during the day at her 4th birthday. I'm sure she would have waited a long time after that to start herself. We framed it as - That's just what happens when you turn 4. Since we knew of no four-year olds who still used diapers during the day, dd accepted it. Albeit with some great sadness and resistance for a week or so. She was very emotionally attached to her diapers.<br><br>
Let us know how it goes!<br><br>
Kim
 

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We had this same problem with DS (3.5). Everything was going along fine, and then..poof! He didn't want to use the potty. We cajoled, used a reward system, we begged..to no avail. Then I read somewhere that sometimes kids just need a break from potty training and/or they may just not be ready. So we tried that. We put him back in diapers and let him "do his thing" and we stopped talking about it with him. About a month later we tried again and he took right to it! Maybe your DS is rebelling against going in the potty. I'm anxious to hear what you try and what works. Hang in there!<br><br>
Lauren
 

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It sounds like it has become a control issue. If he pees his pants and is then sings to you about it. Sounds like it is on purpose to get to you. I would pick up a book or two at the library and start looking up various recommendations. I wish I had some advice. We were very lucky with our son. By 2 1/2 he learned to poop in the potty on a 72 hour drive to Florida. He could not stand to go in the diaper while in the car seat. He never went poop in his diaper again. By age 3 he was pretty much using the potty to pee all the time and by 3 1/2 the goodnights were long gone. There was a period between 2 1/2 & 3 where the babysitter was making comments and my husband was getting frustrated. I had to really step in and say drop it. Now that he is 4 next month I could totally see peeing in the potty becoming a real control issue if it were not already dealt with. As it is DS has other things he uses as his way of being in control and getting to me. But read some books there must be some good advice out there.
 

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If you don't mind the mess then maybe put him back in the underwear and just let him wet himself a few times until it starts getting on his nerves?? or maybe you can start all over with training him and just taking him to the potty at certain times, like every 30 minutes and sitting him on there. Oh and another thing, maybe stop singing the songs and making a big deal of it. Tell him you will not sing the song again until he goes on the potty like he needs to.
 

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I think four is old enough to clean up the mess himself and take responsibility for the mess he makes and the extra work he makes for you. Set up things so that he can clean up after himself: wash cloths, clothes hamper, whatever and explain to him that the next time he poops or pees in his pants, he will need to do X, Y, & Z. You have to be careful not to shame him, but more to empower him in the process.
 
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