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This seems like such a no brainer question, but I'll be darned if I can answer it!

My DD is 25 months old, very strong willed, and independant. We have a potty chair for her and a ring to fit the toilet and some of the gerber training pants. We talk a lot about how she can wear her big girl underwear if she goes in the potty, but she never asks to wear them or anything.

She will on occasion tell me when she poops, but not with any consistency.

She used to sit on her potty when we used the big potty but not anymore. She's never peed or poo'd in it.

I think she has the ability to potty train, but I don't want to force it and turn it into a huge ordeal. I've got a 5 month old too, so the fewer tantrums and such in my life the better!

so how do I know when she's ready? What should I talk to her about to get her ready? How do I gently lead her in that direction? Any suggestions are welcome!

Oh, and while I'd love to do the nekkid thing, we live in an apartment with no yard and mostly carpet. *sigh* Not great for dealing with accidents.

TIA!
 

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We're in the same boat -- wall to wall carpet. We recently bought a steam cleaner, so I'm considering doing the naked thing, but so far DS pees on the floor almost every time we take his diaper off.

I really recommend the book "How to Be the Parent You've Always Wanted to Be". It's a general discipline/parenting book, but it has a really good chapter on potty learning (which they distinguish from training). They insist that your child will let you know when s/he is ready (but do give certain signs to look for). When that happens, then you give a choice between diapers and using the potty each day. Or some parents might say, at home you can choose but when we go out you must wear a diaper (until they know the child is having few/no accidents). This is just a general summary -- you should read the chapter, though!
 

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my dd is 2.5 and has been potty trained for a few months. when i was sure that she knew what was going on, this is what i did: i put her in panties and let her decide when she needed to go. i have found with both of my kids; the less i take them or make them go the better. when i left it up to them they took to it more than when i took them. she had one or two accidents. she wears a diaper at nap and bedtime. she also poops in the potty. the key is to be sure the child knows what's going on. did annie want to do it? no, she would much rather be in her diaper except when she was poopy. then she wants me to change her immediately. it really was no big deal for either of my kids. good luck!
 

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My son isn't potty trained yet, but I've heard that two signs are: 1) child tells you when they are wet; 2) child wakes up with a dry diaper.

Ezra has actually exhibited both of these signs, but not on a terribly consistent basis. We have a potty out for him all of the time now, and he will sit on it at times (saying "pee, pee") but he has never actually gone on it. As the others said, I think there's just a point in time when they make that connection. It's good to have the potty around, so they become comfortable with it, but I think the actual connection will only happen when they are ready. Sounds like you are doing a good job getting her ready. The only other thing that you didn't mention would be taking her in to the bathroom with you -- and perhaps you already do this. At this point, I'm happy with my son in diapers ~ I love using cloth, and I don't have to worry about taking him to the "potty" when we're out!
 

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My ds can pee on command in the potty (he's 28 mos.) and take himself to poop- he's been doing this since 19 months and is still not potty trained. Sometimes he'll be dry all day and we'll use potties. But only if I take him.

The problem is he sees no reason to go all the way to the potty when he can pee on the floor or down the heat vent. Why bother getting up and going even 3 feet and sitting on a potty?

I'm going to back off until he's a little more mature. He's almost there- I think there's also a matter of it all coming together.

With dd I just took the dipes away at 2 1/2 and she trained. I thought this was easy. It is so much easier if they are ready- otherwise its just a big ordeal.
 
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