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I'm reading The Secret of Parenting and it's really helping me. Also read How to Talk so Kids will listen...

The big point that is coming through to me from everything I read is DON"T LET IT GET TO YOU. Stay calm at all costs. If you have to force her into her coat do it calmly and firmly. Release all the anger, no seething, no teeth clenching, no grabbing or squeezing or jamming arms in sleeves. Firm and calm.

When I get a little stressed out my son must pick up on it and get stressed too. Unfortunately he reacts to stress by pushing my buttons stressing me out more and then we go into this terrible vicious circle. When my son and I are in one of those phases of head butting I have to gather all my strength, patience, etc. and not get mad. If I can keep this up for a week or so I can turn the tide and we'll be best buds again.

If I think of the act of not getting mad as denying him what he wants (to get me mad) it makes me feel good. We all have that terrible little voice that says "I want to get back at him". Well, here's a way to get back but it doesn't hurt anybody!

Edited to add: I'm having some luck getting out the door faster if I keep a little pressure to get ready on all morning rather than leaving too much to the last minute. It's a good lesson in discipline for me, too - The Master Dawdler
 
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