[debra_lea]

Hi Mommas,

I have to address a fear I have for this birth, to just get it out there and hopefully gain some perspective. When I had my son 3 years ago (my first), my labor was only 4 hours. I know that technically a precipitous birth is 3 hours or less, but it was quite fast for a first birth. I delivered my son at a birthing center (converted house basically, run by 1 midwife) 1 mile from my house. Living in a new area, I am having a home birth this time and the midwife lives 30-40 minutes away.

Everyone says how incredibly lucky I was having a fast labor, and in some ways maybe I was. But, having a fast labor is also really intense and scary, and I bled quite a bit afterward. Knowing second labors are typically faster, I am a little bit afraid. Afraid that everything will just seem out of control, chaotic, and that maybe my midwife won't be here in time.

I would love to hear thoughts and maybe even hear from some moms who have had similiar experiences. I know I need to address these fears before I go into labor.

Thanks!

 

[lactivist]

I don't have fast labors so keep that in mind.

Maybe if you had all the birth supplies on hand and did some research on UC you might feel more calm about a fast labor and the potential for the midwife not to make it. It's weird because none of my other labors have been fast but I do have that fear this time that it could go really fast. I am not sure why it is cropping up but I have been reading a lot of precipitous labor stories in hopes I can deal if it comes up. I would also think that calling the midwife (and having her know about your first birth) at the first signs of labor could maximize her chances of getting there on time. As for bleeding you could always eat a piece of the placenta if no one gets there in time. It can stop bleeding really quickly. (I have no desire to consume my placenta but would in an emergency to stop bleeding) Here's hoping you have a nice 4-5 hour labor and that everyone makes it right on time.

Wendi

 

[go4it]

Ditto the pp... if you've had any kind of fast labour, you should have a "Plan B" just in case. That could mean stocking supplies you normally wouldn't (although you're having a hb anyway so maybe not), finding a doula or nurse who lives closer than your mw does, or even just a friend or family member who has some experience with birth. Your mw will have more ideas than I do, hopefully!

Having that Plan B in place may work kind of like the "hospital bag" does for many women: setting your mind at ease that no matter what happens, you're Ready.

All of which said, there is no guarantee that this one will go the same way... each baby enters the world in his/her own time.

With my history of average to long labours (ds - induced postterm - 12 hours, dd1 - preterm 34 weeks - 30 hours), dd2 surprised us when, after about 10 hours of "nothing" labour - ie contractions I could sleep and talk through - she arrived in under an hour of quickly-increasing, scary contractions.

We were planning a hospital birth but luckily our mw was on her way to check me anyway. She was taking her time and checking in by phone but at her last call, I couldn't talk through the ctx and she realized something was up... she got here with 15 minutes to spare.

This time around, like you, we've chosen a hb - yay! And although I do hope the last bit will be a little more calm (I'd like to make it to the bedroom, for example!), I am excited that I won't have to worry about "making it" to the hospital or waiting too long for the mw to show up (she's about 15 minutes away, but for me, she'd probably make it in 10!).

People who say you're lucky to have a short labour don't realize that no matter how long it takes, every mama delivering vaginally has basically the same experience as far as stages go (1cm, 2cm, transition, crowning, etc...). If labour is fast, it just means everything happens at once, all on top of each other, which can be VERY frightening and overwhelming. :-(

(plus, you tend to tear more if it's too fast to control the head and prepare the perineum well...)

There are no shortcuts from 0 to 10cm; anybody who thinks you got one is simply deluded by jealousy. ))

 

[debra_lea]

Thanks to both of you. Jennifer, I appreciate your understanding. I have had so many friends gloss over how easy my labor must have been, given that it was fast. But, as you said, fast and furious has its own complications. And, like you said, you still go through all the stages.

 

[IntuitiveJamie]

I also had a short 4 hour labor with my son. However I did not feel like it was out of control or anything and I did not bleed a lot. When it started it just went (as you well know). This labor I am actually hoping and sending out the energy for a little bit longer of a labor...say 6 hours? Just so I can "enjoy" it. I know some of you are thinking, Huh? But it may be my last. And the thing I do understand is that having a fast labor can emotionally be traumatic b/c it's like, "wait a minute, did that just happen?" It's like you skipped steps and the baby just got here. It can also be physcially traumatic for mom (poss. tearing if baby flies out) and not good for baby in many ways. So I get what you are saying there.
I am a big believer in sending out your intentions and energy for what you desire. If you desire a longer more settled labor, start praying or meditating and sending that energy out there. I would also agree about having a doula and maybe getting some things that you feel would be necessary to have should the baby come faster then your mw. Like cord clamps. I bought a book on emergency birth and read it before my birth so I could be prepared to go it alone should that happen for any reason. Just remember birth is totally natural (as you know) but I just want to remind you that you don't really NEED anything or anybody for it to be all okay. Just think about what a great job your body did last time all by itself in that time. One thing to have on hand in case of hemmoraging are some diff. herbal concoctions you can get for that. I'll look some up for you, I am drawing a pregnant brain blank right now.
What about doing some journaling about your fears just to get it out there. Def. talk to your spouse so he knows and can support you the best he can.
I'm sorry if I'm long winded and not much help b/c I didn't mind my labor being so fast for quite the same reasons as you. But I do understand on some level what it's like. I guess I was sort of forwarned b/c it actually does seem to be a trend in my family. My Mom had 4 hour labors with me and my brother and my Grandma had some pretty quick labors. So they had talked to me about it beforehand. Guess I was sort of prepared.
Well anyways, I hope you could get some reassurance from all this babbling...

 

[attachedmamaof3]

I COMPLETELY sympathize with you....my second birth was 2.5 hrs, my third was 2hrs 45 min....both precipitous...HOWEVER, my second birth threw me for a loop...

I think what people who haven't had precipitous labors don't understand is that while you still go through the same stages, you have LESS TIME to wrap your mind around what's happening, LESS TIME to take in and get centered and relax or find your pace...you are basically slammed with your body taking control and it is SO MENTALLY EXHAUSTING!!! The hardest thing for me was not letting my mind go crazy with not being able to get a footing in the fast pace, WHAM of labor. It wasn't physically painful or anything like that for me, it was HARD, but it was the mental/emotional stuff that was hard for me.

With my third, I was terrified that I'd have another birth like my second. It wasn't bad, it didn't hurt, it was a HB, it was GREAT...it was just....mentally VERY exhausting.

My third birth was also precipitious but was NOTHING like my second. I had space between contractions, I had been practicing in my mind keeping my brain okay with fast-paced labor and that helped...it was MUCH different and MUCH better!

 

[mommajb]

I want to join this conversation but I have very little idea of what to say. I have had incredibly precipitous labors. By the time I realize I am in labor the baby is usually crowning. Once her head was out but not her shoulders by the time I realized I was in labor.

I have trouble getting my fears addressed. When I brought it up with my ob she assured me that she could make it to the hospital in about 90 seconds (we live in a very small town) and that the usual protocol was to page her when the mother is in transition

: but in my case she wanted to be paged when I arrived in labor. Last time I was told to call an ambulance, not to try and make it. I refuse to call an ambulance because I might be in labor. It is not a medical emergency.

My husband has caught (when no one else was there) and I am more prepared each time. It is very intense but because this is not your first delivery you know more what to expect of yourself. It is not such an unknown. Be very honest with yourself and do not worry about false starts. It is important that you take your body and what it is telling you seriously.

 

[debra_lea]

Thank you. I definitely have some mental preparing to do. I still really enjoyed my birth, and have very positive feelings about it. Truthfully I remember very little until I got to transition. Although it was definitely an interesting day.

After delivering my son, the plan was to go home about 4-5 hours afterward. The midwife asked my husband to start the car (get it warm), while he walked all our stuff out to the curb. After the last load he came in and we figured out how to load the baby in the car seat for the first time. By the time we got to the front door, someone had driven off and stolen our car! Our computer, video camera, clothes, even my placenta were all in the car.

By now it has become a funny tale, and it was written up in the local papers. But, at the time it was this conflict between really amazing feelings regarding the birth of my son and the anger at the theft. It was definitley an emotional roller coaster.

I'm wondering, if in some ways, I also need to deal with that.

 

[kimilia]

I left for the hospital at 6:15 a.m., got there at 7:03 (rush hour to nyc) and delivered at 9:03.

I am very nervous that this one will be faster. With my first, she literally came flying out and I tore a lot, with lots of bleeding after. I still view it as a powerful and amazing experience, though! I guess the greatest issue for me, was that no one seemed to believe me when I said the baby was ready to come out. They all kept saying, "No, you have plenty of time!" I had to trust myself and actually in the long run, that made me feel more powerful than before. I knew my own body and what it was doing better than anyone else. Yay, me!

 

[KarenMT]

Thanks for posting this thread - it has really been a comfort to read other's perspective on this. With DD, I had a 4.5 hr labor but in all honestly her head was on my perineum the last 45 mins as we raced from our home to the hospital. Mentally, the fast labor took me a long time to get over and as others mentioned it seems like people see your labor as "easy" because it was shorter. I just remember our phoning L&D and DH repeatedly telling the nurse how close and intense my contractions were. They did not validate any of what we were saying except to tell us it was my 1st baby and it would be a lot longer before we should come in. I remember being in transition and really doubting my desire for a natural birth because I was made to feel I was in early labor when, in fact, I was about complete. The one person who validated things for me was our doula. We phoned her when she was on her way to our house and she could just tell from my voice that I was about to push the baby out. She told us to "get there now". It was while I was getting dressed that I felt the baby's head and bag of waters hanging. It was very, very scary.

We are planning a hb with this pregnancy and will have our birth kit on hand. My mw will be about 45 mins away and I am going to have her provide us with ample resources to educate us on UC, should that occur.

 

[go4it]

Quote:

Originally Posted by debra_lea By the time we got to the front door, someone had driven off and stolen our car! Our computer, video camera, clothes, even my placenta were all in the car.

OMG, what a crazy story! No wonder you're anxious - all those emotions mixed up together. I wonder what they did with the placenta... ;-)

(I once had a car stolen that had a tape of highly frenetic Jewish kids' music trapped in the tape player with no way to turn it off... I was NOT surprised when the car was found abandoned in Northern Ontario... I'm sure they just had to get away from that music!!!)

 

[echospiritwarrior]

Oh what a WONDERFUL thread. Thank you sooooo much for starting this!

I always joke that it's a great thing we planned a homebirth with my first because she would have been anyway. From 1st contraction to birth was 2 hours 15 minutes. Only one m/w made it before the birth (I was complete and pushing) and my DD was born within 15-20 minutes of her arrival.

We're using the same midwife, but we've moved and now live 45min- 1hour away from her. We've already talked about plan B and as things get closer and closer I'm visualizing our midwife arriving just before the placenta is delivered. I'm thrilled that I'm okay with things this time, but it was oh so scary last time, as everyone said things just happened one on top of another...

Both midwives said to anticipate a 24 hour labor about 10 days post edd, but when it happened in 2 hours 5 days 'early' I was floored. My DP wanted to leave when he knew it was the real thing (he wanted to go get flowers) and I had to spend some time convincing him that I really shouldn't be left alone right now that I needed his help! I think I'd have gone crazy alone in a labor that intense.

I think the best thing is coming to peace with however it may be, and trying to be prepared in a variety of circumstances. One thing my midwife did say is that in her experience, mamas that deliver really fast (like most of us) tend to have similar labors consecutive times (usually not faster each time)... since my DD was official birth nine hundred ninety something for her (not including her training) I'll take her word for it!

 

[mommajb]

Why do 'they' always tell us that this only happens in movies? Look at how many of us there are! My first labor was almost 3 hours from start to finish but it took a bit to recognize it for what it was. The other three might total for 1 hour all together and were so fast the ob didn't even make it on time for the one that was induced (baby #3).

Baby #2 was born on a street corner and then the cabbie wouldn't let me in. Let's just say nobody believed I was in labor (even me) for baby #4 until dh said so and she "shot across the room" to quote him. Good thing he is more in tune than I am.

The common thread seems to be prepared and aware, it really is all a woman can do.

 

[IntuitiveJamie]

Debra- I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry that on a wonderful amazing day of your life your also had to deal with being violated. I can def. see how that would affect your picture of that day. It would skew mine as well. When anything is taken/stolen of yours it is so violating and damaging and I just cannot imagine on the day your child is born and you are trying to get home, that happening. I'm really sick of shitty ppl. Sorry, but I had to say it.
I am glad for you though that you can look at it now with some sense of humor because it was still an the most amazing day in the world for you!

 

[angelamclamb]

lol

Now I have to chime in. I have had fast births and slower births. Oddly mine last longer the more children I have and I am preggers with #5!

My first, now 18yrs old, he came within 1hr 20mins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: That was a natural childbirth. I was absolutely terrified, crying etc. I had no idea what to expect and everyone had told me it takes hours and that gives me time to prepare, mentally. I had no time at all. Fortunately we were minutes from the hospital so when I started spotting and cramping I took off to the hospital and I arrived within 10mins and in that time I was having contractions 3 mins. apart.

My 2nd child is now 17 she came as soon as my water broke. Fortunately, I had this odd feeling something wasn't right. I had been having preterm labor issues with her starting at 30 weeks and my labor was stopped 3 times. So I guess it was a gut instinct to head to the hospital. I got to the hospital and told them that "I think I should I should be checked in". The lady remembered me from previous visits and did so. I was called back and they asked me how close were my contractions and I told them I wasn't having any, but felt something urging me to come in. They said while I was there they would check to see if I have dilated anymore. Sure enough I had, so they sent me to L&D to be monitored. No sooner than they hooked me up I told them that my water had either broken or I was peeing on myself and can't stop it. She lifted the blanket and said, wow, it's your water alright. Then I was like, oh crap! She looked at me and I said, "Lift the blanket again". You should have seen her eyes, my daughters head had crowned and she ended up delivering her. Fortunately, from the time I got there 'til the time she was delivered was about 40mins. Things went smoothly to be a Saturday at a hospital or may have had her in the waiting area.

My 3rd & 4th was 4hrs or so of labor. But I have to admit, I had Epidurals with them.

:

 

[IntuitiveJamie]

Amazing how many of us have had quick labors. You just don't hear that too often.

 

[debra_lea]

THANK YOU, everyone. It is comforting to know that I'm not the only ones with these feelings. Special thanks to "takebirthback" for the note on my special circumstances.

I remember when everything started happening so quickly, I thought about my birthing classes and how they said I should have a labor project. I kept thinking, how the H&** am I suppose to back chocolate chip cookies during this HA HA HA.

 

[shantimama]

My first and third labours were short but not precipitous. My second labour was just under 90 minutes.

I can appreciate how people with long, difficult labours can't imagine how hard a short labour can be - but it was like being hit by a truck. There was no time between contractions, it seemed, and they kept coming on top of each other. Before I even had a chance to get my head around the fact that I was in labour, there I was, nursing my daughter for the first time. It was very intense.

When I went into labour with my third child, my midwives were great. They told me to call them ASAP and they came right away. That labour was a little longer, but still incredibly intense and they were great at helping me stay calm and suggesting positions so this baby wouldn't come racing out faster than I was ready for.

I will take a 6 hour labour over a 1 hour labour any day!

 

[flapjack]

Hey Debra,
My third birth ended up being precipitous- from a stalled labour at 4cm to holding my daughter took 3 contractions and 20 minutes, though I had some serious prodromal stuff going on before that. Mercifully, my m/w had a sixth sense and refused to leave the house. What made it unbearable and pushed me towards PTSD was all the other stuff going on: ds2 was having an asthma attack, the house hadn't warmed up enough, baby was born in the wrong room and I bled/amniotic fluided all over the bed- it was horrendous. Story here, if you want a laugh. At this time, any strong emotions will stay with you for life.
And you know what? Having survived that, I can survive anything. I have, however, demanded that the universe sends me AT LEAST 20 minutes of active pushing this time, as well as a healthy baby

I'm intending to be forewarned.

 

[shantimama]

Even though my 1st and 3rd labours were longer, with three children combined I only had about 12 hours of labour and 15 minutes of pushing.