I can't sugarcoat stuff for you so let me tell you the story of one of the cases I was involved in.
A baby was born here, 12 weeks prem. Which isn't that much less than yours I guess. The day the baby was supposed to leave the hospital, they wanted to vaccinate him just before the mother took him home.
She didn't want to, but they pressured her so much that she did, but she did something very wise. She made them monitor him for 48 hours, and keep him in hospital for another 48 hours after the shots. They gave them to him in the afternoon. That night, he started seizuring, bradycardia, the works. All monitorred on a computer link up, and all.
Naturally he was back in picu and it was red alert for some days.
The boy was later diagnosed with spastic quadriplegia which he didn't have before. Now, here's the clincher.
I was brought into the case (which was headed by one of this country's foremost lawyers) at the last minute because they were going nowhere very fast. It took the lawyer three goes to get all the files. I'd go through them and say "no, they aren't all here, coz they mention this test here, and I can't find the results.
After I had all the files, it took me a week to figure it out, and I figured it out by putting all the test results, major events, and key clinical episodes on to date lines drawn onto clear plastic using the same scale (one metre wide...) , and pinning them on top of one another so that it formed on large graph. When I stood back and looked the pattern hit me like a brick.
This babe had had blood transfusions every four weeks prior to the vaccines, and when you looked at his test results they would normalise after the blood transfusion and then turn down, and then he'd go into crisis and have another one.
Just before the vaccine, his test results were in crisis mode again, yet no ped noticed... but even the nurses notes commented that he wasn't feeding properly and wasn't himself. But no-one took any notice. They vaccinated a very sick child who should never have been vaccinated.
At that time, a US vaccines expert who have gone over to the "other" side happened to be in the country and he reviewed all my work, and we went to the lawyer together and he verified that my assessment was accurate.
The problem was that we didn't quite know how to approach the case, and in the end I suggested a risky strategy. I said to the lawyer... "Look the way I see this is that there were FIVE paediatricians on this case, and I bet they all thought someone else had looked at the tests and no-one had. I bet they just looked at what the previous ped had written and bounced off that, so my feeling is to ask the court to abandon the case for medical misadventure on the basis that having had the files professionally reviewed, you will file for medical neglect and bring all five paeds to account for medical negligence.
She did that.
A week later, I had a call from her and she said "Guess what?"
"What.." I muttered.
"I have a check in my hand" she enthused.
"So, wasn't that the aim?" I replied.
"You don't understand" she replied."Normally if we win these cases, we have to set up a trust, sign on trustees, and they put us through months load of garbage before we ever smell money."
"So....?" I said.
"So," she said, "They've obviously gone through the files and realised that we'd win the medical neglect case hands down and they are trying to buy the family off."
She went back to the family and asked what they wanted to do, and they were happy to be bought off.
Shame really. It would have been nice to have got some real justice.
What I am saying to you in all this is that you have to be really careful.
If you are pushed into agreeing to vaccines, make them sign a form saying he is healthy enough to have them.
Make sure that the apneoa monitor has been silent a few nights.
And make them keep him in hospital for however long you need them to afterwards, because that way if things turn to custard then YOU won't be the primary suspect in a potential crime scene. Many of the USA cases I've worked on have involved Shaken Baby Syndrome, because sometimes, particularly in premies, vaccine reactions show up as haemorrhages in the brain and retina, rather than what happened to the child on the above mentioned case. And when haemorrhages are involved, the last person with the child is usually investigated for murder.
This is your child, and you have to make some decisions, not just for himself, but for yourself as well.
Those decision as you are already feeling, are very hard ones, because they involve fear of death, either from the disease or from the vaccine.
It comes back to your philosophy, your faith, and how much you want to do things the way you want to. And whether you will allow the fear to continue to rule your decision making.
You have to really ground yourself, and when you do that with your husband you will know what you want to do, and hopefully why. When you know that, try to follow it with single purpose. Be quiet, polite but firm. If you are railroaded in spite of what you want, then insist on certain things, and make them adhere to them.
so make decisions, but also make contingency plans in case Plan A falls through.