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STINKS! We're still having a really hard time, mamas...all I do is worry and cry. Sometimes I even forget that I'm pregnant because it's hard to even think about the baby coming when everything is so bad. I'm really mourning the fact that this is my last chance to be pregnant and it's been so awful. I'm resentful that I haven't and won't get to enjoy any of it.

We don't even know where we'll BE when the baby is born. It scares me to not have any stability or answers right now. I wanted to make this baby it's own little space and get excited about his arrival, but I can't now. The excitement has been replaced with all of this sadness and hurt...and anger and frustration.

I just wish SOMETHING, ANYTHING was different.

:

Thanks for letting me vent a little...sorry to be such a downer...
 

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Sounds like you're really struggling. Hang in there. I had a sort of break down on Fri. just from the usual stress around here (on top of pg and pelvic pain) so I can just imagine what you must be feeling.

I don't have any advice for you, just encouragement.
 

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Hang in there mama. Hugs to you and your family. Take one day at a time, and keep breathing. Try not to beat yourself up about feeling blue or resentful or not enjoying the pregnancy... Every pregnancy is different and your experience/ depression is just as normal as extreme happiness would be. Remember that babies don't care where they live or what the surroundings are like, as long as they feel safe and loved and taken care of.

My SIL went through a bit of pregnancy depression and found that talking to a counselor a bit really helped. Do you have someone objective to talk to?
There's also a great "relieving anxiety" CD that DH have been listening to my Martin Rossman. Its a guided visualization, and we both have found the 20 minute meditation to be very helpful in grounding and centering us.

Lots of hugs....
 

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I'm so sorry you're feeling so down and uncertain right now, I am sure if I didn't know where we'd be this winter, I'd be feeling pretty bad too. I think it's totally normal to be sad if you know it's your last baby too... just knowing this is the last time you will have life in your womb... it would be hard!!
I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to post about it here, everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes
 

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You've got an awful lot going on right now. It's no surprise that it's all got you down. It's ok to feel that way!
Try to look at one thing at a time though. It's hard to be objective when you're in the thick of it but try to separate things and deal with them that way. It makes everything seem worse when you make the "everything that's wrong" list in your head. It has a snowball effect. For instance, don't lump not being able to be pregnant again on top of not having a stable living situation. KWIM? Go ahead and MAKE that list but actually write it down so you can visualize what you are trying to work through. It might not be so bad if you can break it down into pieces. And by all means vent vent vent!
 

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We think this is our last also...it is very sad and wonderful at the same time.
to you!! Feel free to vent anytime...that is what we are hear for.
 

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My heart is really breaking for you. I know just how you are feeling. When I was 23 I found I was pregnant with my first baby, and had her at age 24. I got PG right away. I figured I was just good too go. Around age 25 I wanted another baby. Well it just did not happen.. I spent YRS going too docs, and repo endo's, and spent loads of money on trying too get PG..Nohing worked. I just was not ovulating. Around this time I found out I had PCOS, and was insulin resistance. Reason for our infertility, plus DH's semen count never hit over 4 million..Eventually after 5 yrs of trying with docs and such. I sadly gave up trying. Then I got Angry, and started researching ( when I get angry, I get motivated ).. anyway.. After researching PCOS, and herbal treatment, I found a mix that worked for me.. I was finally ovulating after 7 yrs of maybe O'ing twince a yr.. I figured if I could O, I could at least stand a small chance of falling PG. So I took my regimine for 9 months.. On the 10th months we finally after 7 yrs got PG..Once this happened, I fell into this horrible depression.. Terrible fears of losing what I fought so HARD for. I cried every single day, and even into the wee hrs of the morning most times. I had suicidal thoughts, and tendencies. I was so ashamed of how I felt that I hid it. I would take about 5 showers a day, and not to get clean.. I needed too cry.. I had too hide the way I was feeling somehow.. I remember I was28wks PG.. I got into the shower, and was in there for an hr, when my DH walked in and heard me crying. I was sitting in the shower with my razor in my hand, and wondering how I could end this god awful despair I felt. He pulled me out, and told me he had had enough,and that I was not hiding at all very well how i was feeling. He handed me the phone, and told me if I did not tell my doc how I was feeling, he would do it for me. I'm not sure if I ever would have hurt myself, but I do know I thought about it on a daily basis. Anyway, I told my OB finally how I was feeling, and I was put on meds. I really have too tell you,the MEDS were a life saver too me. w/in a week I felt like the sun was shining again. I still feared Maddy's loss at times,but the deep rooted fear, and despair I had were gone.
She was a 42 wk'er.. I often wonder how in the world she survivied the intensity of my fears, and depression.
Just fighting for so long too get PG, and then too have depression over it.. It was alot for me too handle ALONE..
I know this board is about natural approach, and things like this, but please know it is OK too get other help if you think you need it.
I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a BIG HUG..I think of you alot since your first thread. I often wanted too ask how you are doing, but I relive what I dealt with, and I just was afraid too ask. I never wanted to upset you, or push a certain form a therapy on you.
I really can relate too you, and what you are going through.
Ya know what's funny, is I fought for 7 yrs too get my second child.. then the 3rd and the 4th just happened w/herbal approach and knowledge of how the body works.
If you ever need too talk.. I am only a PM away.
I took my meds for the remainder of my pregnancy, and got off them as soon as I had her. I never fell into a state like that again. I was told mine was pregnancy induced depression, which they said was rare.. Usually happens afterward, and sometimes I wonder if I did this too myself. I never enjoyed my pregnancy w/madison..Anyway..I am thinking of you, and I am here if you ever need too talk.
Please know you are in my thoughts!
 

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This has been my hardest pg because of my emotions. We are the poorest we have ever been and are having #4! I think all the time how precarious our life is right now and how anything could happen and we would be homeless or in serious need of help. When those thoughts come into my head I just try to focus on the positive. Whatever that may be at the time.

I hope things start to look up for you soon.
 

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do you take fish oil? i've switched from zoloft to just taking that as a supplement and it's working wonders. i still have my really off days but i'm not crying near as much as i used to. best wishes for you mama!
 
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