Joined
·
399 Posts
<p>Spurred on by the rush I felt from a compliment received on another thread and probably out of my mind for sharing this without editing I present the list I referred to above. I wrote this out tonight with the intent of posting it on Thursday. </p>
<p>It's the first version - just like most of what I write here and probably in need of editing, but who I can't seem to care much these days. A couple things are repeats of something I may have mentioned before, but I think you'll get a kick out of it and I have been dying to share it with somebody. Number 8 is the one that really amuses me (and I think you'll like best), but I think I could write a short essay about that topic alone. Remember the audience is my mostly clueless Facebook peeps so . . . .<br>
</p>
<p>13 Things You Didn't Know About Me (and may regret learning - some of them) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>1) Up until about a month and a half ago I was doing at least one hour of working out (usually yoga) every day! Now a trip to the bathroom requires an extraction plan.<br>
2) I slipped off my diet plan and had gluten - repeatedly! - because my body said it needed it *and* I muscle tested for it (but did overdo it a couple times before exercising moderation).<br>
3) The "pina colada song" made me cry and it's a shameful secret because I think it's a stupid song.<br>
4) My verbal filter is down and I have been known to make shocking declarations without batting an eyelash. While this used to happen occasionally, usually for comic-relief, it is now a near-constant truth.<br>
5) I am alternately terribly in need of a good hug and thoroughly repelled by the way fragrance someone has used (even "unscented" products) makes them smell and drive them away. Same goes for pressure anywhere near my torso, one minute a blessing, the next a valid reason for murder.<br>
6) Like a toddler, if I say something is true in this moment (hungry for food, thirsty, need to pee), the truth is that it was likely true 20 minutes ago, I am more desperate for <blank> than I can state and everything will change by the time <blank> is actually presented to me.<br>
7) After a couple years of steady improvement, I am experiencing what will hopefully be the last majorly devastating health change for a long time and I'm alternately thrilled and horrified.<br>
8) I finally understand boob jobs. These are so much better than the set I've been carrying around previously and I hope they get to stay. They are the most consistent source of joy and wonder, even when all else is bleak. <br>
9) That last one and a half bites of the banana I ate while writing this was too much and now I just feel sick - again.<br>
10) Nearly every stranger I've met from the guy taking my lunch order to the ladies at the massage place have known my biggest secret before 95% of the folks reading this.<br>
11) It seemed like a great idea at the time and it's totally my fault, but I will shamelessly blame him and hurl accusatory pouts and he will accept them with a smirk and twinkle in his eye.<br>
12) After months of increasingly improved self-care and attention to detail, I have taken to things like I "veteran" - not shaving because I'm too tired, drinking from dirty/"clean-enough" glasses, leaving laundry in stacks and calling it "good enough", etc. - and am strangely at peace with this devastation of any remaining sophistication.<br>
13) Have you guessed the biggest reveal, yet? It's Thanksgiving and we have a gift to be grateful for, but won't receive the full gift until June 2014. <br>
</p>
<p>It's the first version - just like most of what I write here and probably in need of editing, but who I can't seem to care much these days. A couple things are repeats of something I may have mentioned before, but I think you'll get a kick out of it and I have been dying to share it with somebody. Number 8 is the one that really amuses me (and I think you'll like best), but I think I could write a short essay about that topic alone. Remember the audience is my mostly clueless Facebook peeps so . . . .<br>
</p>
<p>13 Things You Didn't Know About Me (and may regret learning - some of them) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>1) Up until about a month and a half ago I was doing at least one hour of working out (usually yoga) every day! Now a trip to the bathroom requires an extraction plan.<br>
2) I slipped off my diet plan and had gluten - repeatedly! - because my body said it needed it *and* I muscle tested for it (but did overdo it a couple times before exercising moderation).<br>
3) The "pina colada song" made me cry and it's a shameful secret because I think it's a stupid song.<br>
4) My verbal filter is down and I have been known to make shocking declarations without batting an eyelash. While this used to happen occasionally, usually for comic-relief, it is now a near-constant truth.<br>
5) I am alternately terribly in need of a good hug and thoroughly repelled by the way fragrance someone has used (even "unscented" products) makes them smell and drive them away. Same goes for pressure anywhere near my torso, one minute a blessing, the next a valid reason for murder.<br>
6) Like a toddler, if I say something is true in this moment (hungry for food, thirsty, need to pee), the truth is that it was likely true 20 minutes ago, I am more desperate for <blank> than I can state and everything will change by the time <blank> is actually presented to me.<br>
7) After a couple years of steady improvement, I am experiencing what will hopefully be the last majorly devastating health change for a long time and I'm alternately thrilled and horrified.<br>
8) I finally understand boob jobs. These are so much better than the set I've been carrying around previously and I hope they get to stay. They are the most consistent source of joy and wonder, even when all else is bleak. <br>
9) That last one and a half bites of the banana I ate while writing this was too much and now I just feel sick - again.<br>
10) Nearly every stranger I've met from the guy taking my lunch order to the ladies at the massage place have known my biggest secret before 95% of the folks reading this.<br>
11) It seemed like a great idea at the time and it's totally my fault, but I will shamelessly blame him and hurl accusatory pouts and he will accept them with a smirk and twinkle in his eye.<br>
12) After months of increasingly improved self-care and attention to detail, I have taken to things like I "veteran" - not shaving because I'm too tired, drinking from dirty/"clean-enough" glasses, leaving laundry in stacks and calling it "good enough", etc. - and am strangely at peace with this devastation of any remaining sophistication.<br>
13) Have you guessed the biggest reveal, yet? It's Thanksgiving and we have a gift to be grateful for, but won't receive the full gift until June 2014. <br>
</p>
" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style=""></p>
