[MoodyAlly]

<p>I am looking for suggestions on pregnancy books for my DH.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was pretty un-involved last time around, so for him this is almost like he is a first time dad.  Sense we are having a homebirth I feel that its pretty important for him to be informed about pregnancy and labor.  The problem is that DH has adult ADD pretty bad, so that makes reading pretty hard for him, especially if it about something he isn't particularity interested in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I wish that DH was one of those super supportive men that naturally take an interest, but he just isn't.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have already checked out <span style="text-decoration:underline;">A Father's Homebirth Handbook</span>, but I am worried that it will be a little...dry...for him. But I got DH's promise that he would read at least 2-3 books this time, even if I have to read them to him (Dunno why, but that seems to help).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I need something that gives plenty of accurate info about pregnancy <span>stages, labor and delivery, how to be a support person, but that is also entertaining to read.  I am running into the problem of  "Your wife is bat shit crazy with hormones, run for your life!" and " All this stuff is gross, but I guess I will tell you about it anyway."  type <span>attitude in <em>a lot</em> of these books.  Can they not write an entertaining book for men to read about birth that doesn't A. make jokes at their partner's experience or B. make a beautiful and natural process seem gross.</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>My goal is to have a peaceful birth with a supportive husband that doesn't have to ask me what is going on every few minutes, would know how/where to rub my back, and that would understand what was going on if something where to go wrong and we needed to transfer, without us having to take time to explain it to him first.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, do you ladies have any suggestions?</p>

 

[SarahinDisguise]

<p>Here are the ones my DH read and found really helpful the first time around:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fathering Right From the Start:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FFathering-Right-Start-Straight-Pregnancy%2Fdp%2F1577311876" rel="norewrite" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Right-Start-Straight-Pregnancy/dp/1577311876</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Birth Partner (this one is FANTASTIC and was recommended by my midwife):<br>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FBirth-Partner-Complete-Childbirth-Companions%2Fdp%2F155832819X%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Dbooks%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1381578407%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dthe%2Bbirth%2Bpartner" rel="norewrite" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-Complete-Childbirth-Companions/dp/155832819X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381578407&sr=1-1&keywords=the+birth+partner</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hope these help!</p>
<p>Sarah</p>

 

[Dandy Lion]

<p>My dh didn't read anything and managed to do well. Our midwives were only there for the last five minutes of pushing though, so this time I think I'm going to have a meeting with them to discuss what he would need to do if they didn't arrive in time. I'd also like to meet with a doula to discuss some ways he can support me with counter pressure etc. He did great doing what I said I needed, but a doula would be able to give him some more ideas of how to help me.</p>

 

[phoebemom111]

I couldn't find any books like that. I don't think most publishers think the average man is interested in the kind of book you're looking for or at least not enough men to make any money. We took the Bradley classes and they were VERY GOOD at showing partners how to be supportive! In fact they did all the things you're looking for including massage techniques!<br><br>
Good luck!!

 

[MoodyAlly]

<p>That's a great idea PhoebeMom.   I had briefly looked into it and didn't find anyone in my town that taught the classes, but at your suggestion I looked it up again and found a class offered about an hour from here.  I called and had a very nice hour long conversation with the teacher.  I already love her to pieces ( I am so emotional right now that I am feeling weirdly loving to everyone I meet. It is so unlike me.<img alt=":throb" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="">)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cost is my only hang up.  350$ plus gas to drive 50 miles and back six times. But I am thinking that make my DH do it anyway. <img alt=":Sheepish" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/Sheepish.gif" style=""></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think classes would be good for DH, he is pretty social and having a more interactive learning experience is perfect for him.  Plus, now I am dyeing to meet the other homebirth moms there. NOBODY I know is really supportive of homebirth, and I really want be part of that community of like minded people.</p>

 

[onetwoten]

I love the birth partner as well !

 

[phoebemom111]

<p>Yes, it's very expensive! We didn't have any family or friends where we lived so it seemed like the only support or resource available to us in a very conservative area.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I would note that the people in the class can be more of a reflection of where you live than the content of the class. I went into it thinking I would find like-minded folks but they were all pretty much the typical hospital birth folk not very aware of more alternative options. And I don't know if the Bradley people were sued at some point but my particular teacher was very careful to never offer up advice that wasn't it the book they give you. Even though she had a ton more to say she would censor herself. Again, maybe this was a reflection of where we were (very close to DC and military bases). Oh, and I don't recall anyone ever mentioning homebirth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But aside from that they definitely give you the TOOLS you need to homebirth. Breathing techniques, massage, ways to communicate what you need to your partner, positions to labor/birth in, lots of support for your partner, etc. And although we moved, I know the couples continued to meet up after their births, too. I would do again in a heartbeat...I would just go into it with different expectations maybe?</p>

 

[MoodyAlly]

<p>I talked to the teacher for a long time, and what I gathered was that they can't advocate (or seem to be advocating) for homebirth unless its brought up to them first. I am guessing The Bradley Method corporate people don't want that to became known as "their thing", sense it isn't very mainstream and wouldn't sell well. She was pretty censored until I mentioned I was planning a home birth and boy did we start talking after that.</p>
<p>Turns out she has five kids, with 3 of them being homebirths.  She also said that she normally has at least 1-2 homebirth parents in her classes.   Right now she has 3-4!</p>
<p>We ended up chatting about other things than her classes too. I figured if she is in the homebirth loop around here she would be a great person to ask about local midwives. She really gave me the scoop too. <span class="gmw_">Not just about mid-wives but also about which OBGYNs <span class="gm-spell gm_ gm_6a9a3d39-c610-294b-8008-3cf89435f221">are</span> more</span> <span class="gm-spell gm_ gm_20aa120c-ec7d-d222-3f10-2039f2df00de">crunchy</span>, if I wanted a back-up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While I am definitely interested in the classes myself, if we do them it will probably be more for DH sake.</p>
<p><span class="gmw_">While talking to her, I got super excited to finally be able to <em>talk</em> to someone about my decision vs. having to argue/convince/explain my decision.  She totally got my hopes up when she said there was a homebirth community she would introduce me too.</span></p>

 

[phoebemom111]

I hear ya...it's tiring always being the weirdo in the conversation! Such a relief when you can talk to someone who doesn't think you're crazy for wanting a more natural birth.

 

[amyrobynne]

<p>We took Bradley classes during my first pregnancy and they were really helpful for my husband. I knew most of the information from reading blogs but it helped him to hear things firsthand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was the only homebirthing mama in the class of maybe 8 couples although the instructor had an unassisted birth shortly afterwards </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My SIL, a homebirthing mama who's an L&D RN, highly recommends The Birth Partner. It seems like a great option for people who want to hand their husbands a book.</p>

 

[MrsNichols]

<p>The Birth Partner is a great one. Not humorous though.</p>
<p>And I just started Dude, you're going to be a dad. I like it so far. I tried What to expect when your wife is expanding. NOT a good one. I didn't pass that one to him after I read it.</p>

 

[WonderFull]

<p><strong>Sarah</strong> - thanks for those suggestions, we're pretty new to all this and sweet husband really wants to know what he can do to help out. Showed him those two books in case they interested him and he ordered them right away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the ladies who have done Bradley classes, did you find them helpful? At what point should you sign up for them - ie. early or more toward the due date?</p>