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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm back! We just had a wonderful, dreamy, perfect homebirth in March. Our little guy was to be the last of our children and we had decided that our family was complete. I didn't get my period for quite some time after he was born but when I did I rolled my eyes and sighed like, "ugh, not Aunt Flo again". We planned for DH to have a vasectomy following the birth but he ended up switching jobs and losing his insurance, then he was laid off so no insurance again... Now he has insurance again and we made an appointment with the urologist for a consult - the appointment is NEXT FRIDAY. We have been as careful as we can without cutting DTD out completely. My period was due last Friday. Guess what...?<br><br>
I'm really having a difficult time dealing with this. We're in our 30's and this baby will make 6 between us. Holy cow! The kicker is that we already have a baby. I'm so not ready for this. How am I going to keep up with four kids and two babies? I love to wear my baby and we're still BFing. How am I going to continue this when my belly is so big that I can't see the ground? How am I going to give them both the time they need? Ack, I'm feeling overwhelmed and spread very thin.<br><br>
Please, if anyone has experience with this I could sure use some support. TIA.<br><br>
Katie
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mama_in_PA</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12371040"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm back! We just had a wonderful, dreamy, perfect homebirth in March. Our little guy was to be the last of our children and we had decided that our family was complete. I didn't get my period for quite some time after he was born but when I did I rolled my eyes and sighed like, "ugh, not Aunt Flo again". We planned for DH to have a vasectomy following the birth but he ended up switching jobs and losing his insurance, then he was laid off so no insurance again... Now he has insurance again and we made an appointment with the urologist for a consult - the appointment is NEXT FRIDAY. We have been as careful as we can without cutting DTD out completely. My period was due last Friday. Guess what...?<br><br>
I'm really having a difficult time dealing with this. We're in our 30's and this baby will make 6 between us. Holy cow! The kicker is that we already have a baby. I'm so not ready for this. How am I going to keep up with four kids and two babies? I love to wear my baby and we're still BFing. How am I going to continue this when my belly is so big that I can't see the ground? How am I going to give them both the time they need? Ack, I'm feeling overwhelmed and spread very thin.<br><br>
Please, if anyone has experience with this I could sure use some support. TIA.<br><br>
Katie</div>
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I don't have any kids yet...(yet being the opertative word here) but I couldn't help but read your post because I used to live in PA. and just moved away about a year or so ago...ANYWAY, my mom had my brothers really really close, she was even using birth control and she got pg. My brothers are seriously close in age but it was really manageable. I mean I was 5 and 6 when they were born and as babies it was a handful but they played together and LOVED being that close in age. I can understand your worry, but I am sure you are a strong mama who can take it day by day and see how truly amazing your family is turning out to be!<br>
GOOD LUCK!
 

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I got pregnant with my second when my first was about 6 months. Granted, that was only the second (not sixth) but I do remember being pretty shocked. Now we have 3 at home, one due home through adoption in about 6 weeks and we are 19 weeks pregnant. We also have another one we are in the process of adopting.<br>
We never planned on having 6, but apparently we didn't plan enough to NOT have one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
Good luck to you. You are a pro!! You can do this.
 

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I got pg with #5 when my babe was only 7 months old. Plus I have a 2 year old (she was only 1 when I got pg with #4) and teens that I'm homeschooling. I was happy, yet I cried a lot too. It's hard to explain the roller coaster emotions (pg hormones don't help that at all). It's not that you don't want another blessing, it's just that the thought of it can be quite overwhelming when you have others to take care of, especially little ones.<br><br>
Yes, it's true that you'll get through this just fine. But I don't want to sweep your very real concerns and fears under the rug either. Mine is due in March and I have no idea what it's going to look like. I am so busy now and my 2 year old and 1 year old take so much of my time I can't possibly imagine how I'm going to do this. But I will, and so will you.<br><br>
Here are some practical ideas I'm implementing that might help you. I'm currently cooking and baking in very large batches (usually on the weekend when dh is home to help with the kids) and freezing meals. I plan on having a very large supply of complete frozen meals ready to just pop in the oven and other snacks like muffins and such or the kids and inbetween times. This will help a lot during those first few crazy months when it's very hard to get food on the table.<br><br>
I'm also making activity bags for my one and two year old. These will contain everything needed for a specific activity that's age appropriate. I'll have several for each of them and I'll pull these out when needed. They'll be kept up otherwise. Something new and different like this is always great to help keep toddlers and preschoolers occupied while you tend to the baby or just need to have a few minutes of quiet time to re-group.<br><br>
As far as bfing goes, there's no reason to stop. Just keep doing what you're doing. And as far as wearing your baby, you can certainly keep doing that for as long as possible. Besides, you'll find when your baby starts to get around, you'll be wearing him a lot less.<br><br>
I already feel like I can't give each of my children all the time they need and there's another yet to come. So, I understand how you are feeling. The best thing I've found is to take advantage of rare opportunities when you can get alone with a child, stay off the computer, turn off the TV and telephone, and try to schedule your day just a little bit. When I mean "schedule", I mean kind of a routine, but not super rigid or anything. I have found that my household runs <b>so much smoother</b> with a routine and my little ones thrive on it and are so much easier.<br><br>
Just remember that those first 6 months can be just crazy and the baby will need an enormous amount of your time. Include your children as much as possible and enlist dad's help as much as possible too. When I had my last baby, my toddler was only 21 months and it was a very hard adjustment. She was the baby and now all the sudden there was another one! Those first 6 months were tough, but we got through it and she's better for it!<br><br>
Sorry I wrote a book, but this is near and dear to my heart too so I understand where you are coming from. It'll be okay! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> DD1 was only 9mo when I found out I was 6 wks pg. I WAS planning on more babies, but not that soon, and it was NOT a pleasant surprise. I just wasn't ready for another baby. I was also facing marital problems, and in the end we split up when DD2 was about a year old. I don't know how different things might have been if I'd had his support.<br><br>
I made it through, but it was hard, and DD2 and I missed out on a lot of bonding and connection during her infancy. We made it up when she was 10-11yo.
 

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<b>BTDT</b> twice. I've been pregnant and had a nursing 7 month old twice. People often ask me how I do it, my answer is, 'You just do, you do what you have to do'.<br><br>
One thing that I suggest is to sleep when your LO sleeps, especially in the beginning when you are fatigued. If your DH can spend more time with the children it would be good for you too. I cherished the days that my DH would take everyone out to the park for about 3 hours. I either slept or just relaxed. It gave me a chance to recharge myself.<br><br>
For me, once I was a little over 4 months pregnant it wasn't as difficult to deal with.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have no doubt this LO will grab hold of my heart the same as my other DC. I think my biggest stress at the moment is how to tell the family. I received a lot of negative feedback when I announced the last pregnancy. My uncle said, "you will now have 3 kids with 3 different men. HELLO! It's time to stop." I was so hurt and haven't spoken to him since. My own father wouldn't speak to me for about a year after my announcement. Sometimes I just want to take my family and crawl into a hole to protect them from unkind words like that. I know DH's family won't be very welcoming either. We're already struggling to pay our bills and now we're adding another mouth to feed.<br><br>
I remember my mom saying that every time she would get rid of her maternity clothes and baby clothes she would become pregnant. I decided early on that I would save every stitch of clothing, both baby and maternity, until DH goes to the vet. Fortunately, this means we really don't need much for the new one.
 

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Try to go easy on yourself and look at your actual limits and needs. Don't get yourself too caught up in ideals. If you find babywearing too much and need to use a stroller more often, then use the stroller without guilt. If your milk supply dwindles and you need to supplement, go ahead and supplement without guilt. If diaper washing gets to be too much, go ahead and use a diaper service or disposables. Take whatever "shortcuts" you need to keep your family happy, healthy, and sane.<br><br>
When I was pg with DD2, I gave up on babywearing and CDing, and I should have supplemented (I let my pride get in the way of DD1's nutritional needs.)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mama_in_PA</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12371403"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">\ I decided early on that I would save every stitch of clothing, both baby and maternity, until DH goes to the vet. .</div>
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your dh goes to the VET???? what sort of horrible health insurance do you have??? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
You mean vasectomy appt, right?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
sorry, this just made my day, I really needed a laugh.<br><br>
I agree with a pp...you get through it because you HAVE to....and you'll do great!!!! congrats!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bobandjess99</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12371547"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">your dh goes to the VET???? what sort of horrible health insurance do you have??? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
You mean vasectomy appt, right?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
sorry, this just made my day, I really needed a laugh.<br><br>
I agree with a pp...you get through it because you HAVE to....and you'll do great!!!! congrats!!!</div>
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LOL, yes, I meant vasectomy.
 

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I got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 8mos old.. It was a COMPLETE shock I am still to this day not even sure what happened <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Then I had got pregnant with #3 when #2 was 9mos old.<br><br>
#3 was born when #1 was still 2... While I have had my challenging moments with having them so close it also has been a blast. I wouldn't trade it for anything.<br><br>
HUGS
 

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My brother and his wife had their daughter then got pregnant with #2 when she was 6 months old...then with #3 when DS2 was only 6 weeks - and DS3 ended up being 5 weeks early. So their two little boys are only 9 mos apart. They totally had their hands full when they were babies but they are all such close friends and so adorable together.<br><br>
I wish you luck and CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm sorry you've had a hard time with family. My brother experienced the same thing from my parents, unfortunately. But it's your life and each child deserves the same sort of excitement as the others.<br><br>
Cindy
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I feel like my milk has diminished some but we're starting Hammy on solids now so that does help. I'm really not looking forward to peeing 50 times a night, puking my guts out, feeling tired all the time, sleepless nights because I can't get comfortable... etc. It hasn't been long enough for me to forget those inconveniences. And the after pains last time were just aweful. I thought I would never be normal again.<br><br>
I'm sorry, all of this must come across as so pessimistic. I'm just trying to work through it so I can get to the part where I'm elated and happy to be a mama again. I looked it up on the Chinese birth chart and it says we'll be having a little girl. While I realize it's not a reliable gender predictor, it does give me a tangible thought to envision and look forward to.<br><br>
Thank you all so much for being so supportive. It really does help to know that I'm not the only one. Since it's been done before I know there's a good chance that I can too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I got pg with #3&4 when dd was 9mths old, a surpise pg. I nursed her until she was 13 mths old. I baby wore for as long as a could, a twins belly and ptl cut that short. But dh would wear her until she was ready to walk more. When we had to use the stroller we would<br><br>
Don't forget that you have every right to be upset about adding to your family again. Not being on cloud nine right now doesn't mean you'r not going to love the little bean. It's a big adjustment; take the time to adjust. Sometimes I think that's why we get 9 months <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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I got pregnant with #2 while I was exclusively breastfeeding #1 at 8 months old. The only thing I would say is watch the milk supply. I continued to nurse (though at times it was excruciatingly painful) but had a huge drop around 3 months. She did nurse until she was three, and I did tandem.
 

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Oh- surprises! That is how DS came- I still get dirty comments about it- but he and DD are best friends and can't stand to be separated <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Now I wonder how our coming baby will fit in- but I don't think it will be a problem. I think it was pretty simple really having them 15 mo apart- but then DD was a very easy going baby. She was napping very well all though my pregnancy and when DS was little- it gave us lots of time to bond<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Ignore the family or friends or whomever that is negative- even if you yourself aren't positive all the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I may be in the same boat! My period is over 2 months late now, my belly is expanding and I think I am about 2 months pregnant. I tested once faint positive and once negative. We just moved so I need to go test somewhere as our insurance doesn't kick in til Nov. 1.<br><br>
I love to BW, we nurse all day long, and we just moved and aren't completely moved in yet. If I really am pregnant I will also be spread pretty thin.<br><br>
I am sure things will work out good<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Leilalu</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12380065"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I may be in the same boat! My period is over 2 months late now, my belly is expanding and I think I am about 2 months pregnant. I tested once faint positive and once negative. We just moved so I need to go test somewhere as our insurance doesn't kick in til Nov. 1.<br><br>
I love to BW, we nurse all day long, and we just moved and aren't completely moved in yet. If I really am pregnant I will also be spread pretty thin.<br><br>
I am sure things will work out good<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I think I remember you from the March '08 DDC. Is that right?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mama_in_PA</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12380249"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think I remember you from the March '08 DDC. Is that right?</div>
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yep<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I think I may go get a digital test tonight to make sure.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Leilalu</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12380575"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">yep<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I think I may go get a digital test tonight to make sure.</div>
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Congrats if you are! If your'e 2 months into it then I don't think we'll be in the same DDC again. I'm in June.
 
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