[Shuli]

I went for my first scan last week and the tech only found one baby. I am thrilled that I am pregnant, but just a little dissappointed that there is only one. I see the relationship the boys have and wanted the next ones to have the same kind of connection. I just feel sorry for this baby sometimes that they won't have that closeness with another person growing up. Always having a playmate to play/fight with etc.

Am I weird? It will just be such a different experience watching just one baby grow. For those of you who went through this, did you over compensate for the fact that the next baby did not have a playmate?

The boys will be 27 months when I give birth, will they be close with the baby or just ignore them?

Any advice appreciated.

TIA

 

[f&p'smama]

I have a singleton after twins. I had mixed feelings about Ian being a singleton. For myself, it has been such a nice experience to only have one baby to take care of. For him, yes I am sad that he does not have a twin. I also feel pangs no and then when I see baby twins.

My girls were a bit older than yours will be when your little one is born. They were 3 months shy of 3. One of my girls was very excited about the baby from the get-go and the other ignored him. Now, the one who ignored him is a fantastic sister to him. She is sensitive, looks out for him, brings him things he may like, etc. The one who was excited at first can be a bit rough with him now that he's a toddler and gets into her things. He loves his sisters. They don't play with Ian they way they play with each other. They spend their days engaged in imaginary play and obviously a 15 month old isn't there yet. But they play near him, or more accurately he plays near them. They have a strong sibling bond. But I do worry that he will feel left out of something. If I had 3 kids one at a time, I'd probably feel sure I was done having kids, but sometimes I think about having another for Ian to have someone.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[shahjehan]

First of all-congratulations on your pregnancy!

: I can totally understand how you feel about having a singleton this time around. I had the singleton first, and now when I see my twins playing (and fighting) together it makes me think that DD1 must have been so bored without a same age playmate. But your new baby will have two big brothers who will definitely adore him/her! My kids are only 22 months apart, and they play together all the time. It wasn't like that when the babies were really small, but as they started moving/crawling they all three have so much fun together.

I don't know about you, but I want to get pregnant again just to see if it would be twins

(absolutely no more babies for us though). Maybe you are feeling some indescribable (sp) sense of loss that you didn't "make" twins again? I don't know if that makes sense, but conceiving and growing twins just feels so special. I know I would feel that way, as silly as it sounds writing it.

 

[Shuli]

Yes, maybe it is the sense of loss of not making twins again, we really did want another set. I do think that we will have one mor after this just so that the little one can have someone as well. We always wanted a big family and now that I know we can make them in singles, I am not afraid of having twins again.

Thanks for your support. It really makes me feel better now that I know that this new little one will have playmates, even if it isn't a partner.

 

[lexbeach]

I can't really relate to your post because I would have been really devastated to have a second set of twins, BUT I will say that I have been very surprised by how much my singleton plays with his older twin brothers (or rather, how much they play with him). The twins are 3.75 years older--a pretty big age gap. They include their little brother all of the time and he ADORES them. One of my twins is especially close with the little one. 90% of his drawings are of him and his younger brother (with no mention of his twin!). It's very sweet.

I would say that Zeben (youngest) definitely has an easier relationship with both of his brothers than the twins have with each other. I think he's got the best situation of all 3 (constant playmates but not nearly the same amount of competition/jealousy).

We are having another baby in a couple of months; I didn't want ds3 to be left home alone when the older two leave for college/whatever. It is hard to imagine what our little pack of kids will be like with a fourth member! I can't wait.

Lex

 

[fyrebloom]

I'm in a similar situation as my twins will be about 27 months old when my baby is born too. Knowing how close my son is with his sisters, I'm not concerned with how the baby will fit in. My girls are SUPER attached to each other but they still adore their brother. Perhaps the new LO will be closer to big brother because they share the singleton experience or maybe not. I'm with Lexbeach, i'd have been pretty crushed to have found a second set of twins as well. I love my twins but I don't think I could do it again.

 

[Shuli]

Thank you all. It's good to know that he/she will at least have a playmate. The boys are super close and have this bond that I will never understand (my husband is a boy/girl twin, so he understands). I still think that they missed something on the early ultrasound, she was having a hard time seeing the little guy, but it could just be wishful thinking.

Good to know that I can ask a question and get such a wonderful varied array of answers. Glad you guys are out there.

 

[MamaChicken]

My DD was 9 mo when I got PG with the boys. She didn't understand the pregnancy at all, but when the babies came home she was very excited about them. She is a great big sister - always kissing them and trying to share her snacks (chocolate chips to her 3 mo baby brother!). Lots of fun!

She doesn't really remember them not being here.