Mothering Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
362 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi,<br><br>
I was just wondering if there was anyone else feeling this way or has any suggestions to help.<br><br>
I had hyperemesiss in the beginning of my pregnancy and was warned that prenatal depression could be headed my way and I am wondering if that's whats going on or if this is just normal preg. stuff.<br><br>
I can't get enough sleep and yet can't sleep at night. I am under huge am'ts of stress. My parents are getting divorced and my mom is becoming completely dependent on mostly me (ie. wants to live with us in the next couple of years...she's only 60!). My siblings, I have discovered are completely withdrawn and unwilling to help (<i>I'm too busy for her).</i> We need a new car before the baby is born, and yet we also have a non-fuctional bathroom that needs to be remodeled and don't have money for either. My MIL will not even acknowledge this new baby. The more I try to socialize with people in my town, the more I feel like I just don't fit in. And the group that I thought i fit into I am seeing things that feels like they are pulling away from me. I feel compeletly self-centered and no matter how much I try to stop, it gets worse.<br><br>
I just feel down, all the time. I can't even remember what week I am in this pregnancy. Last preg, I knew almost to the hour how far along I was. I also am binging constantly.<br><br>
What do I do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
Oh mama. Not much advice except that I recently came out of a time of a ton of extra stress, which I was dealing with while just getting over being really puking sick, and I know how hard it is when it's all snowballed together. It's way easier to feel/become depressed when you have all that extra stress, and you have a ton.<br><br>
What helped me was: getting support here on these forums, and also from a therapist. I only went once, with my husband (HIS issues were a lot of my stress!), but it was enough. There's a low cost therapy group I could join, too, and knowing that's there for me when the semester's over, if I want it, also helps.<br><br>
I have a lot of issues with my mom, too. Even though she was not at all nurturing or respectful during my teen and young adult years, suddenly she all wants to be totally involved in my birth (her first grandchild). She relies on me, it feels like, to justify her life. I've had therapy about THIS issue before so I'm handling it. I know what it's like. You need to find some way to detach from your mother's needs. HER LIFE IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Hard as it is, you need to let her (trust her to, force her to) deal with her own life on her own, not rely on you. You need SUPPORT now, not an extra person TO support.<br><br>
If you feel really bad, please do see your doctor. Some anti-depressants are safe to take during pregnancy, and they can really help. Even if the "reasons" why you're feeling bad are external, when these reasons are affecting your sleep, you need help of some kind. Are you getting a good vitamin, enough B vitamins, maybe some fish oil or flax oil? Getting B vitamins and Omega 3 helps me to be able to cope.<br><br>
Yoga, meditation tapes, even walks near water where I mull over how I can't be perfect at handling everything, and reflecting how in spite of the issues in my life I'm getting a new baby in the fall, really help me. Trying to remain open to possibility -- that money we need will appear, that friends will come from unexpected places -- also helps.<br><br>
Hugs to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
87 Posts
That sounds so awful. I am so, so sorry you're going through all this. I've also been having a lot of upsetting things happen during this pregnancy and I found that EFT works so well to make me still feel centered and calm. Have you heard of it? You can learn all about it for free at emofree.com. It's similar in some ways to chinese acupuncture, but it's acupressure and you can do it on yourself anytime. You will instantly feel better--seriously. PM me if you have any questions. I also have the training DVDs and the rule is that if you buy a DVD, you should give--not sell--copies to 60 people. (How cool is that?) So let me know if you want me to send you some free copies. Good luck!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
362 Posts
Well, please don't feel alone. I know exactly how you feel. My Dh got laid off,then the dr took me off work. All I do is worry about money & cry constantly. No clue where to turn.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,518 Posts
This is so much to take on during a rough pregnancy. It is tough to remove stress from your life but you may be able to find ways to deal with it. Minnow had some great suggestions. If you do think it is depression seeking treatment is so important to you, your unborn baby, and and the little one you are trying to take care of.<br><br>
hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
239 Posts
I have felt this way all month, it was happening a little off and on before now, but it is getting worse. I feel like crying almost every day and never for a great reason. I am worried about lots of things mostly that our house is not done yet and we don't have a place for the babies (twins due in Aug.) I hate feeling this way and I am not sure if it is normal prego hormones or not, I don't remember going through this with my dd. Good luck to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
147 Posts
I've been feeling gloomy too - just a lot of stress in my life although I'm sure it will all work out it's just been a bit overwhelming.<br><br>
I also had horrible morning sickness this time that lasted a loooooong time.<br><br>
I was even considering talking to a Dr. about medication, but I deceided today I'm going to try some Omega supplements first and hopefully a massage and maybe some accupuncture.<br><br>
Hang in there, take care of yourself and hopefully things will mellow out for you.<br><br>
peace.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
362 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~minnow~</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7895978"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you getting a good vitamin, enough B vitamins, maybe some fish oil or flax oil? Getting B vitamins and Omega 3 helps me to be able to cope.<br></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I did run out of my fish oil and the company is out of buisness... what brand to you use and how much vit b should I be taking. I think I might be low on that....<br><br>
Thanks,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,019 Posts
I just wanted to add that if you think it might be depression, you really should see a psychiatrist to get it checked out. I have recurrences of depression and talked to my Dr. a lot about it before I got pregnant - and got checked a couple times during my pregnancy and afterwards just as a precaution. Untreated depression actually has physical effects on your body and a baby's development is affected in ways that can impact her functioning for the rest of her life. It really is much better to see a doctor and rule out depression than muddle through thinking you're ok and be wrong.<br><br>
I feel for all of you who are struggling with stress and gloominess. I've been lucky this pregnancy on the depression front, but we moved internationally when I was 3 months pregnant with the triplets, so the pregnancy has hardly been unstressful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,591 Posts
I do tend to have mood disturbances throughout pregnancy and am always sensitive to hormonal fluctuations during my cycle when non-pregnant. I just wanted to give you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
588 Posts
I couldn't read without posting my experience and what I have learned.<br><br>
I was feeling very hopeless and gloomy because a series of events that took place immediately after I announced my pregnancy. It started with work and sciatica and them telling me that they couldn't accomodate my needs. At least I am off and receiving disability. Then the cascade of real crap began...I was sexually assauted by a man that was faking car trouble outside my house. He is in jail, but I may have to testify. That has been a nightmare that I didn't expect to have to deal with as a pregnant woman. Then my mom was in the hospital and in the same day my dear grandpa passed away. All of these events triggered a free floating anxiety that made me feel like my safety was always at risk. I was just sure that my son was going to be kidnapped and that my husband was going to crash his car and die on the way home from work EVERDAY...These thoughts plagued me.<br><br>
Something that has really helped me is journaling. What I have taken away from all of these experiences is that I have to take control of things that I actually do have control over, like my health, etc. I can't control the pile of crap that comes my way. It is out of my hands...there is something very liberating in that.<br><br>
I just wanted to echo the suggestions for finding an outlet for your feelings. Start writing. See if there is some counseling available to you. Use MDC as a place to find comfort in the thought that you are not alone. This pregnancy has been one of the most trying times in my life. I am sure there are others that are having the same challenges.<br><br>
Many <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> to you and prayers for peace...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,137 Posts
I feel better now that I know I'm not the only one. First I worried about working and bieng sick and tired, now I'm not working and worried about $$.<br><br>
I've had sleep issues the past month or so, so I should probably take that into consideration too.<br><br>
Don't get me wrong, I am excited about having being with my baby, I've wanted this for so long, sometimes I get so emotional I cry out of sheer thankfulness for this pg. But other times just feel gloomy and too spaced out to get myself motivated to do something with my time that'll make me feel good.<br><br>
Yoga and mediation are the things that do seem to work for me. I'm thinking that lack of sleep is what;s causing alot of this though..THis thread is helping me see that. thanks. jen
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top