[juneau]

Hello, I know there's at least a few of us out there -- three that I know of in the Feb. 08 DDC. Anyone else?

I'm 43, will be 44 when the baby is born. Didn't conceive at all (though not for lack of trying) until I was 40, and have been pregnant three times since. Dd is 2, and baby is due right around her 3rd birthday.

I am looking forward to a minimally assisted pregnancy, though I will have to have a repeat C-section for the birth. I worried far too much during my first two pregnancies and just want to enjoy this one as much as possible.

Join me!

 

[nolonger]

I'm due the day after my own birthday, so I may be 43 when this babe is born but I doubt it; I tend to have them a tad early and this little one shares a due date with my Phoenix, who was actually born on January 27 full term and weighed 7 lbs.

This is my "miracle baby", conceived via at-home Artificial Insemination with a known donor. Looking back, it only took me a little over a year and I had a lot of strikes against me, but in the midst of it, TTC seemed to be taking forever and I was about to give up. I didn't even actively make plans to try this cycle, I got a call from KD asking if I was up for it. Then I had some of the weirdest and most unpredictable cycles. I was supposed to insem on Mother's Day, but

wound up being exactly one week late.

Because of how irregular my periods were becoming, I think it's best to asume that this will be my last child so I intend to enjoy every second.

This hasn't exactly been hard, since this pregnancy has been a joy so far! I'm not quite six weeks along and have yet to experience the nausea and exhaustion that is typical for me in early pregnany. I don't even have the aversion to coffee and cigarette smoke which is usually the first sign that I am pregnant, even before a missed period or a positive pregnancy test.

I don't just feel unsick, I feel energized and optimistic and excited about being alive. I'm routinely bicycling to the next town up the freeway and I just started taking belly dancing classes with my 18yodd.

I had midwife-attended home births with my other children when I was in my 20s and uneventful pregnancies, other than some false readings on the glucose/proein test strips which had to be sorted out with lab work. I am cautiously hoping for a UC and a UP, although I get scared from time to time and would probably have caved and started looking for a midwife by now if my 18yodd wasn't so supportive.

This has been another pleasant surprise, since dd has never ben the type to get overly sentimental about children. She is, however, very health conscious and very much a feminist, so to her UC and UP fall under the catagory of empowering us to reclaim our own bodies from the medical establishment.

Juneau, I'm sorry to hear that a VBAC isn't going to be possible, but it sounds like you've got the right attitude about the pregnancy. I worried far too much during my teens' entire childhoods and was not able to parent them they way I would have liked due to threats and mind games from my ex. 18yodd turned out okay anyway, but I am so looking forward to having a little one I can enjoy instead of constantly having to protect.

Right now the only people IRL who know about this pregnancy are my daughter, her boyfriend, an old flame of mine (in the next town up, so I only worry so much about him blabbing) and my dance teacher. I'd kind of like to keep it that way for awhile, at least until 12 weeks, but it's hard not to shout it from the rooftops.

 

[mclisa]

Congratulations!

 

[juneau]

My pregnancy is a miracle baby, too, though perhaps not quite as much of one as the first one (dd)! I TTC for five years, including IVF, FET, and two surgeries, and only one chemical pregnancy resulted. I finally decided I had to stop invasive procedures on my body and used my 40th birthday as an excuse to officially stop TTC. I conceived six months later.

I had lots of fibroids, and worried the whole pregnancy, and in my 39th week the baby was diagnosed IUGR (small for gestational age) and transverse. I had been seeing a midwife all along, preparing for a water birth, but she sent me to a perinatologist who told me that if he were my patient he wouldn't even let me labor, but do a C-section within a few days. After much soul-searching and consulting various sorts of people, we decided to go that route. I think it was the right decision but I am still sad about it. In the end, the doc had to remove a large fibroid even to get her out by C-section, so the additional surgery means no future vaginal delivery. At the time, I really didn't think I would ever get pregnant again, so I didn't give it much thought. I also lost a lot of blood during the surgery and had a long and difficult recovery. But my dd is a wonderful blessing! As my MW said about the birth, "I'm not going to say it doesn't matter, but it'll be so worth it."

I conceived a second time, a total surprise, when dd was 14 months old. I lost that baby a year ago tomorrow, at 14 weeks, but I will save that long, sad, and difficult story for another post. Suffice it to say, I very much wanted to continue that pregnancy, or if not, be pregnant again as soon as possible thereafter. It took 9 months of TTC, which, like spider said, felt like absolutely forever at the time, but now doesn't seem like that long at all. If only we knew the outcome, that a pregnancy would happen, how much easier it all would have been.

I don't know if I'll be allowed to labor at all this time or not. I'd like for this little tyke to choose his or her own time to be born, but I don't know if that'll be possible.

Luckily, I now have a new midwife who is also a very close friend. So I know she'll tell me straight and send me to the right people. I haven't told her yet. In fact, I haven't told Dh yet, either! I'm waiting till Father's Day. I'll wrap up the test and tell him he's got a birthday present on the way (babe is due more or less on his birthday).

 

[BAU3]

Hi..43 here and very unexpectedly expecting my 4th in about 6 weeks. I have a 9 yo, 6yo, 3yo.. all boys, and am having a girl this time.. we jokingly say NOW we can stop!

Am definitely feeling more tired as i reach the end this time around, but as i looked around the office of my midwife today.. I think i was the most fit of the 6 or 7 women there...so I'm feeking good about myself..also recently found out that my fathers mother gave birth to him at the age of 43 back in 1912.. and HER mother gave birth to her at the age of 45 back in 1869... so just carrying on a family tradition...

Hope everything goes well for you all. Enjoy!

 

[juneau]

Hi there BAU3, it's nice to hear from someone close to the end. How has this pregnancy been different from your previous ones?

And what a great family tradition you're carrying on! The oldest woman I know personally who gave birth was 49 -- and she was in rural Guatemala, so just like in 1869, there weren't any fertility drugs involved!

Spider I just wanted to say that like you, I want to shout it from the rooftops. Especially since everyone I know is feeling sorry for me this weekend, remembering Daniel's death last year. My mom asked me how I was doing and I said, "pretty well!" and started talking about my garden to change the subject. I could hardly tell her before dh, KWIM?

I have to keep telling myself that it's enough that I know tomorrow; everyone else can find out in due time, and be happy for me then. The anniversary isn't nearly as important to them as to me, anyway.

But I'm not going to wait till 12 weeks this time. We didn't even tell our parents until >13 weeks last time, and less than a week later I was in the hospital, and lost the baby and nearly died myself. Most of my friends didn't even know I was pregnant. So it was really hard to tell them how devastated I was about losing my son, and for weeks afterwards I couldn't even talk to anyone. But what's the magic number of weeks when it becomes OK to tell the world, I don't know...

 

[juneau]

At the risk of talking to myself, I will post again here.

Noordinaryspider how are you doing? Still energetic? Nausea hit yet?

I'm feeling great so far. I had a few days on the edge of nausea -- more hunger pangs, I think -- but now that I have adjusted my eating habits to coincide better with my metabolism, I'm doing OK.

Sweet stuff is not that appealing, though normally I have a bad sweet tooth, but spicy and unusual flavors are calling loudly. Also greens, especially spinach salad -- yum!

And I am SO tired in the afternoons, and breathless climbing stairs. Other than that, I almost forget sometimes that I am pregnant. And the 35 weeks or so remaining seem absolutely endless!

 

[gerlassie]

Hi!

Another 40 year old pregnant mommie of 2. We too are pretty early and are due in February. I'm very excited but cautiously optimistic since we lost a baby at 8 weeks in utero in 2/06. Becuase of my age I figure this will probably by our last child (I would love to have more) and I really want to experience a home birth.

Congratulations to everyone!
Kim ( Daniel 6 and David 2 Mommie )

 

[mamaana]

Hello!

Just wanted to introduce myself...I'll be 40 next month, I have a 4.5 y.o. ds (took us 7 years of ttc) and this one only took 4 years of ttc

. I'm due end of January.

I find I am much more relaxed with this pregnancy and not trying to read something into every twitch and pang I feel.

Juneau, I am in the same boat with you re fibroids and c-sec. I am taking this one day at a time and like I said, I'm just going to enjoy this pg.

Ana

 

[nolonger]

Juneau, the nasties finally caught up with me. Last week I started feeling kind of queasy and then, after a week of from being exposed to television at work, a fast food commercial came on that almost sent me running out of the room to puke.

It's not bad by any means and ginger tea helps enormously, but I have next to no appetite and am afraid to eat even though not eating just makes things worse. The bone-numbing exhaustion hasn't set in yet, but I have overslept a few mornings and still felt tired and last Monday I had a really rough time pedalling up a hill and almost started wishing I was driving a car. I'm having the same problem with shortness of breath which is very annoying.

I had the same energy rush and complete feeling of well being in the early stages with Phoebe and I think the sense of immediacy I felt as far as getting a diaper stash and sewing the carriers was because somewhere subconsciously I knew it wasn't going to last forever and I need to prepare myself in case the rest of the first trimester is a sleepy pukey time. I'm also very aware that these "symptoms" and aches and pains are what has kept the human race alive for all of these millions of years: it makes sense to be very cautious about food during the part of my baby's life where her neural tube and brain are going through such rapid growth and it's nice that potential toxins don't smell or taste yummy so I don't feel deprived at all.

I also started feeling what many mainstream people in industrialized countries would consider "overemotional", "too sensitive", "crying over nothing", or "bitchy" and realized that I did not want to reunite with the old flame in my post on the TTC board after all. The feeling was so strong and so right that I don't even care who tries to diminish me by blaming it on the pregnancy.

Perhaps this kid came when s/he did to save me from making another costly mistake.

Anyway, even though everything isn't all sunshine and light, I am learning how to trust my body and trying to appreciate every moment with these children, both of whom constantly amaze me with their uniqueness and their strength. My big girl is definitely rising to the challenge of the UC/UP and keeps me on track when I start letting my fears get the best of me. My littlest is still very much her own person and asserting herself by refusing to be a "typical" one of my pregnancies.

I'm going to have a big challenge not telling my mother, who is visiting this week from across the continent, but I think it's best to wait even though my gut is telling me that this is a sticky baby and we're not going to have any problems.

 

[chlobo]

I just turned 41 and am expecting my second in August. Although the doctor toldl me today I reached a milestone - if I go into PTL they won't try to stop it just let it go. Not that I'm expecting to go into PTL or anything.

Anyhow, I find that I am much more tired this time round but chasing an energetic 3.5 year old could have something to do with it.

 

[juneau]

Nice to hear from other over-40 mamas! Welcome Kim, Ana and Chlobo.

Kim, I didn't have my first child until I was 41, so at 40, you may not be done unless you want to be. Although thinking of this as our last pregnancy makes it all the more special to enjoy.

Ana I hear you on the years of TTC. Congratulations! Feel free to come hang out with us in the Feb. DDC.

Chlobo, I am already tired from chasing my 2-year-old. Today she napped at 11 instead of 1 and I got so thrown off by that. I was looking forward to going out to lunch with my SIL and BIL, then curling up with dd and sleeping for at least half her nap. Instead, we ate takeout and I had half an hour to wind down before she woke up. Now I have a babysitter here for a couple of hours and instead of making dinner I think I'll sleep.

Spider sorry you're feeling green. I expect it's coming for me in the very near future, just before I leave for Europe for three weeks. Yikes! I am strangely tired and energetic at the same time. I'm waking up feeling refreshed at dawn (it's been since before I got pregnant with dd that I last did that) but then absolutely crashing in the afternoons.

It sounds like you made the right decision -- to follow your gut -- about your old flame. Must have felt nice for a while, though, to have someone to be interested in.

I see my MW next week and we'll have a long talk about how much "testing" will happen during this pregnancy. As little as possible, from my perspective.

How about you other over 40's? How concerned are you about your health and baby's during the pregnancy? What tests will you and won't you have? (Or have you already had/refused?) Why?

 

[chlobo]

With my first pregnancy I had a level II u/s & then an amnio after the u/s found something "off".

This time round I opted for the quad screen & level II u/s. Those results all looked good so I didn't do anything else. I also declined the prenatal rhogam and forwent the glucose test. I'm not sure what I'll do about GBS. That's coming up in 2 weeks.

 

[nolonger]

Is there anybody still out there? Juneau, you belong back here again.

I've made it past the second trimester, definitely starting to show, and am telling anybody and everybody now. People's reactions are really amusing me! Part of it is that I am a single mama by choice, I know, but it kind of hurts how I don't get the enthusiastic, unconditional "Congratulations!"es very much. I also find it amusing that I'm walking around with this HUGE belly and have yet to have anyone ask me if I'm pregnant.

I guess they're afraid that I have a tumor or something and don't want to listen to me whine about my impending death.

The thing is that I don't FEEL old at all. I'm loving this pregnancy and feel very connected to my child, who seems to be a real spitfire with a mind of his/her own. I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow and can't even imagine how empty my life would be without him/her.

This time last year I desparately wanted to beat the odds and conceive a baby. Now I don't think I could be happy with just any baby, need this particular person in my life. Four months ago, s/he didn't even exist and now s/he is the primary relationship in my life.

I'm getting a lot of support online, but I know how different this experience is for me now than it was when I was pregnant with my teen and my young adult. I guess I'm feling a bit lonely today and needed to revive the thread.

 

[momuveight2B]

I'm here but hopefully not for much longer. I am past 38 weeks now and eager to get this baby home. I will be 43 on the 21st and odds are he will have his birthday within days of mine.

I have not encountered many moms on or off line that are pregnant past 40.

 

[KariM]

Will I count if I'm 40?

I turn 40 on the 16th of the month and our babe is due in April.

 

[wowbaby42]

This is great to come across! I am 42 and my new husband and I are expecting sometime in early 2008. If my calculations are correct, sometime around the end of February! Our first appt. at the midwife is Tuesday, so we will have a better guess by then.
We are very excited about this baby, my 4th and my husband's 1st! I have never gotten pregnant so easy and quick and my prince charming didn't even think he could father a child, so this was a big surprise!

 

[AccidentaLactivist]

I'll be either 40 or 41 when DS #2 is born, depending on how early or late he decides to arrive. My official EDD is late Deptember, but I just have that feeling that, like his older brother, this little guy won't wait until then. I'm also basing this, in part, on the number of times in the last week that people have asked, "So when are you due?" which seems to happen to me when I've achieved near-max capacity.

DS #1 was born when I was 37, and I recall feeling better for longer, but I think it has more to do with weather than anything else--he was a January babe, so I wasn't at peak mass during the season of peak heat and humidity!

Whenever I feel a little, well, older than the rest of the crowd, I think of my grandmother, who had her fifth at 45, and I feel grateful that even though my DH and I waited years before TTC, I've had no fertility challenges and uneventfully healthy pregnancies.

Marie

 

[juneau]

Tentatively sticking my toe back in here again... I miscarried the pregnancy I started this thread with at 7 weeks on July 3. But it appears that I have gotten pregnant without AF in between, so now I am due in April. I'm not sure exactly how far along I am, somewhere between 5 and 6 weeks, because I'm not sure when I ovulated and wasn't charting this cycle.

I had bad spotting with some cramping earlier this week so I thought it was going to be all over any minute. But the cramping is gone and I haven't had any spotting since first thing this morning, so

: maybe I am actually pregnant to stay for a while.

With the last pregnancy I was adamant about no testing but I ended up with HCG monitoring this time by accident and now am desperate to see my little one on U/S. I think I can get a scan early next week. After that I hope I can calm down and just enjoy being pregnant.

 

[movinmomma]

Juneau ~ hope all goes well with this conception.

I think fibroids can be troublesome, but it all depends on where they're located and what kind they are. Some women sail through. Hopefully they will not present any problems for you. I had 3 m/cs due to my fibroids, but conceived my dd and ds while still having some. In fact, they barely grew during my pregnancies. I'll say a prayer for you that that will also be the case! By the way, I had my ds a year ago at age 45! I declined all genetic testing with my kids and only had u/s's. Unfortunately, they both were c-sec. but I still counted myself fortunate! What a blessing children are!