Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im now 3 1/2 months pregnant and Im so happy, but at the same time stressing out so much. I've only been to the doctor once when I was 6 weeks, I havent had any blood tests done, no anything. I worry because I've had anemia in the past and basically everyone in my family has diabetes, my mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with my brother. So this things are always in my mind.
Me and my boyfriend are so broke, we moved into a house with two bedrooms, he already has a son and pays for the daycare. Bills, everything is so expensive and I dont complain about our financial situation because he already does so much. I have two part time jobs in retail (Express and Bath & Body Works) but they barely give me any hours. I eat so badly, because we never have money. I find myself always eating pasta or cereal and also with both my jobs I barely have time to sit down and eat a meal.
Im waiting to receive the forms for Medicaid, hopefully Im eligible for the program, because if not I dont know what Im gonna do.
All my family is far away from me, they live in Dominican Republic and my dad is the only one who has money, lots of it, but we dont have a good relationship and he kinda reacted like a stranger to the news. My mom barely can help. I just wish I had someone close to me that could help me with moral support, besides my boyfriend. His family doesnt like me, they act like they do, but I know they dont, just because Im not white. I mean, we've been living together for 9 months and Im still referred to as "John's friend". It's ridiculous.

I want my mommy!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
148 Posts
Wow, thats so harsh about his family... Sounds like a pretty crap sitution. I have no brilliant advice. I really hope things take a turn for the better for you. Just try to eat as well as you can, I have found that that makes a huge difference in my outlook on life these days... that and my activity level. Much as I feel the need to sit and mope and eat junk for days sometimes, it sure does make me feel a helluva lot worse!!
Anyhow, good luck with everything, I'm sure it'll all work out... eventually!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
51 Posts
Believe it or not, cereal and pasta aren't bad pregnancy foods, both usually are enriched with extra folate and iron for you and baby, just make sure your eating those staple fruits like oranges, apples, grapefruits, for energy and for absorption of the nutrients from your other foods. Try to choose whole wheat and whole grain while their on sale, and eat as much low mercury fish as possible, I know being conservative about how we spend on groceries around here we only eat meat 2 times a week, once chicken and once beef, the rest of the week we eat eggs, dairy, fish for our protein. I've managed to be frugal about the food and still feel healthy this pregnancy. As for medi care I feel for you but can't totally relate as I am Canadian and have covered health care...but you should totally google resources in your area for single moms and if need be completely claim as being single to get the best possible help you can for your baby and yourself, especially if no one from either side is attempting to pick up and help you guys out at all....be strong and be positive, if you think about it, there are women in Nigeria who live off rice, oats and basic foods who still manage to have healthy children who grow to be wonderful people, most importantly is to love your baby who grows inside you despite self doubts about being able to provide, they don't need toys, they just need you and some warm blankies to learn from these first 2 years.
You'll get on your feet, just take advantage of every resource you can and don't be ashamed of it k sweetie.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Megamum2008 View Post
Wow, thats so harsh about his family... Sounds like a pretty crap sitution. I have no brilliant advice. I really hope things take a turn for the better for you. Just try to eat as well as you can, I have found that that makes a huge difference in my outlook on life these days... that and my activity level. Much as I feel the need to sit and mope and eat junk for days sometimes, it sure does make me feel a helluva lot worse!!
Anyhow, good luck with everything, I'm sure it'll all work out... eventually!!

It's mostly just my boyfriend's mom and her husband. They are nice to me, invite me to family things, took me to a concert with them, but when they say to my boyfriend "Does your friend wants something to drink?". It drives me crazy, and we're both extremely non-conflicting people, so we dont say anything. But whatever that says more about them, than it does about me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
348 Posts
I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're dealing with a tough situation. I think your boyfriend needs to talk to his family and insist that they refer to you as whatever you'd like to be referred to. My husband's family didn't like me at first, but it just took time.

I really hope things will get better for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ebbybaby View Post
Believe it or not, cereal and pasta aren't bad pregnancy foods, both usually are enriched with extra folate and iron for you and baby, just make sure your eating those staple fruits like oranges, apples, grapefruits, for energy and for absorption of the nutrients from your other foods. Try to choose whole wheat and whole grain while their on sale, and eat as much low mercury fish as possible, I know being conservative about how we spend on groceries around here we only eat meat 2 times a week, once chicken and once beef, the rest of the week we eat eggs, dairy, fish for our protein. I've managed to be frugal about the food and still feel healthy this pregnancy. As for medi care I feel for you but can't totally relate as I am Canadian and have covered health care...but you should totally google resources in your area for single moms and if need be completely claim as being single to get the best possible help you can for your baby and yourself, especially if no one from either side is attempting to pick up and help you guys out at all....be strong and be positive, if you think about it, there are women in Nigeria who live off rice, oats and basic foods who still manage to have healthy children who grow to be wonderful people, most importantly is to love your baby who grows inside you despite self doubts about being able to provide, they don't need toys, they just need you and some warm blankies to learn from these first 2 years.
You'll get on your feet, just take advantage of every resource you can and don't be ashamed of it k sweetie.
You're right, the thing is that cereal, pasta and bread is basically ALL I've been eating. I cant wait until Friday (I get paid every two weeks) to cash my check and go buy fruits, veggies, eggs and yogurt. Im a vegetarian so we dont eat meat, we do get some Morning Star products from time to time.
That's what I keep telling myself, that there are people in way worse conditions that I am and have healthy babies. Im happy and Im positive, really I've never been broke in my life before, but I've also never been happier. Im very excited about being a mom and I guess it's just that I feel like I should be taking better care of myself. Im taking my vitamins and doing what I can. I just really miss my mom, sometimes I feel like if she was closer, she would show up and cook me a wholesome meal and I dont know, Im just being a big baby
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LibertyBelle View Post
I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're dealing with a tough situation. I think your boyfriend needs to talk to his family and insist that they refer to you as whatever you'd like to be referred to. My husband's family didn't like me at first, but it just took time.

I really hope things will get better for you.

Yeah, he should, I'll talk to him about it, because I find it disrespectful.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
51 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Auraji View Post
. I just really miss my mom, sometimes I feel like if she was closer, she would show up and cook me a wholesome meal and I dont know, Im just being a big baby

My mom lives a far far distance from me as well, in fact my whole family lives at least a 16 hour drive away, and I have my man's family here with us. I'm getting closer to my due date and even though my mom and I aren't totally close theres every bit of my being that wishes she was here with me while I deliver, its that family feminine bond thing I think that will always be there for us. Call her as much as you can.
Take care and good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ebbybaby View Post
My mom lives a far far distance from me as well, in fact my whole family lives at least a 16 hour drive away, and I have my man's family here with us. I'm getting closer to my due date and even though my mom and I aren't totally close theres every bit of my being that wishes she was here with me while I deliver, its that family feminine bond thing I think that will always be there for us. Call her as much as you can.
Take care and good luck.
Im super close to my mom, we've always been friends and I miss her. We do talk as much as we can and it does makes me feel better, but again I cant call Dominican Republic as often as I want because we are very broke.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
10,563 Posts
Big
!!
I haven't been in your exact situation, but pretty close. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time during your pregnancy. It's really hard to be away from your mom when you're expecting, I completely understand.
I have to go as my LO is acting up, but I wanted you to know that someone else has been in a similar situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
932 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by JacquelineR View Post
Big
!!
I haven't been in your exact situation, but pretty close. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time during your pregnancy. It's really hard to be away from your mom when you're expecting, I completely understand.
I have to go as my LO is acting up, but I wanted you to know that someone else has been in a similar situation.
Thank you!!

I guess it's just since Im only 22 and it's my first pregnancy, everything feels bigger than it is.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
6,809 Posts
s: I bet your eliglbe for medicaid - I was last time (I was 22 at the time too), and qualified no problem.. my whole family is actually still on medicaid 2 years later. Its such a load off your mind. Get those forms in!!
s:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,639 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by mamadelbosque View Post
s: I bet your eliglbe for medicaid - I was last time (I was 22 at the time too), and qualified no problem.. my whole family is actually still on medicaid 2 years later. Its such a load off your mind. Get those forms in!!
s:
Even if you are not eligible for medicaid, you are probably eligible for WIC. I know that a lot of mamas on here don't like the program (and I admit, it does have problems), but it sounds like something that you could actually use. It sounds like you are already buying some of the things that WIC covers anyway, and that would free your money up for some fruits and veggies.

This probably varies by area, but I know that the WIC counselors (not sure what their exact title is) were really helpful at finding other social programs that mamas were eligible for.

Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,214 Posts
Yes I second the previous poster, go to WIC, their eligibility requirements are less stringent and that would at least let you spend less of your funds on groceries.

Also see if there are any local food bank programs, I think these often have a reputation for being for homeless people only or something but that isn't true. They are open to needy families as well and pregnant and broke even with two jobs would qualify. That would let you get some staples. Cereal and pasta aren't a bad start, but try to get some proteins in, peanut butter, beans, and lentils are some cheap ones, and some fruits and veggies. Good luck mama, you sound resourceful, you'll find your way, but get the paperwork in!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
192 Posts
Hugs to you mama. You are right, you need to be able to eat way more and way better and worry way way less.
I agree with pp that you should seek out WIC and medicaid for pg women, though it might be called something different in your area. I was on both when my hubby and I were engaged and in college and broke and I was 21, and they were lifesavers. If you are struggling with it, you can often apply for heat assistance as well, through local agencies. The people at DFS should be able to point you to other community services. I am praying for you and sending much love to you, mama.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,318 Posts
Definitely seek out WIC and medicaid. Then call your Department of Health and Human Services (or whatever it is called in your area) to see if you qualify for any other assistance. Talk to your utilities companies to see if they have programs for low-income families. I would suggest Angel Food Ministries, but they don't have a vegetarian option (I'm veggie, too, and looked into it).

If you don't already have a crockpot, get one (maybe from the Thrift shop unless you find one on sale) to make cooking beans easier.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,765 Posts
I definitely agree with those who have suggested WIC, and also recommend getting a bag of lentils and some carrots. With some very simple spices (salt, pepper, garlic if you like), you can make a soup that will last for days, give you protein and iron and something different from cereal. I am not in the same situation as you, but due to my nausea, I could only eat cereal many days. Some cereal have lots of vitamins added, and WIC might cover some of those. Look for fortified cereals. WIC where I live also covers milk (even the lactose-free kind), orange juice, beans, peanut butter, and cheese. You might not be able to get all of these things at every shopping trip, but you can get the beans one week and the peanut butter the next or however you'd like to do it.

For healthcare, you might be able to get signed up for a Medicaid program if you go to a Planned Parenthood near you. You just need a paystub and they will give you a card you can use for free/cheaper healthcare. Some of them also do pre-natal care, or they can help you find a place that does.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,713 Posts
You might check to see if locally there is a residency program in family medicine. At my local hospitals the residents (they are doctors, but finalizing their training) will see you all through the pregnancy and the delivery. It costs $1000 for everything including your hospital stay which is quite the savings.

Just a thought if you don't qualify for medicaid.
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top