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Pregnant friends and guilt

502 Views 3 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  momz3
Ok, before I even start to confess this here I need to say I feel like a not nice human being right now.

There, that is said.

Last week I found out a friend is pregnant after 9 months of trying. I was happy for her, although I admit I felt little pangs of a little green monster.

Yesterday I was talking to a close friend and she said Viki there is so much I need to talk to you about when I see you again. It has been 2 weeks since I last saw her, but we had a friend pass away as well as the son of another friend (if anyone has read any of my posts they may recall I am having a very bad year). But I knew she wasn't talking about this. I knew before she said it: Listen, I'm pregnant.

I told her how happy I was for her (I am - she is a great woman, fabulous mother, great all round human). I asked her when she is due. January. Oh wow I said, when? Jan 7th. She then went on to tell me that she just didn't know when to tell me. She had taken a test and got a negative, but then skipped another period so retested. I knew about the first test, but then I lost my second baby and so she didn't know when to tell me.

And then she told me that she had a weekend where she bled so she thought she was loosing it and had to go to the early loss place, but didn't want to tell me because I had been through so much, so she was going to keep it a secret if she lost it. I feel really bad about that. I must really have my head up my a$$ if close friends don't feel like they can talk to me about their problems.

I am happy she is pregnant, I am. And I am happy my other friend is too. Only, and this is where I am not nice, we all teach together. We were all pregnant together last time. Our children are weeks apart. And the thought of seeing their beautiful bellies grow, while mine remains empty makes me feel sick.

There I said it.

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Viki, I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to say. I'm in a similiar place. Some days I'm more ok with it, others less so.

Treat yourself gently, lady.
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Oh honey, dont feel bad - it is normal to feel sad/angry/jealous.
When i got pg with the baby i lost my then "best friend" got pg on purpose the night i found out i was pg. wE were to be 2 weeks apart. Wen tto the same mw - planned hb with the same mw etc. I was being the usual "perfect preggo" and being super careful and healthy while she ate nothing but candy bars and coke. I lost the baby - she carried to full term and had a short easy hb and perfectly healthy baby. After i lost the baby she started hittig herself in the stomach, and yelling at the baby when it moved and "irritated her." This ruined our friendship - i felt she was the most horrible human on earth.

Also, at the same time as my loss i was teaching a belly dance class. When i started it there was me, my "friend" who was due 2 weeks after me, and another preggo due 2 weeks before me. I had to teach this class and see these 2 women grow each week while i had nothing. It is a hard pill to swallow

I get it - i so do. Just od as much as you can and if you have to skip baby showers or anything else then do it.

hugs mama
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Its perfectly ok to feel that way
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