[WeasleyMum]

Have kind a wierd query for ya'll... is the father of anyone else's preg. adopted? My DP was adopted back in the 1960's when they didn't so much do the 'open adoption' thing. He's the kind of guy that just doesn't care, his adopted parents are his real parents to him. But all he knows about his birth parents are their ethnicity and that they were in 'good health'.

I've always been fascinated by genetics, and right now I feel as though I'm carrying a bit of a mystery because two out of the four genetic grandparents are a complete unknown, except for being "Irish-German". I feel at a bit of a disadvantage not knowing any of the medical history on his side.

Is anyone else experiencing this right now?

 

[kerikadi]

Not the father but the mother. A good friend of mine was adopted and knows nothing of her biological parents.

I was not adopted and neither was my DH but I also know nothing of my biology past my Mother and I think a lot of other people are in this same boat. Either their Grandparents are long gone or sometimes people just don't like talking about 'family issues'. My Mom knows she had uncles, aunts, cousins and even neices and nephews that she has no idea how they past and some of them at young ages.

It's a mystery for many of us. I just look at it like the baby I am carrying is the baby we are meant to have no matter who he or she is

Keri

 

[candipooh]

Not really what your asking but close. My dh never knew his father. I really wish that I had some info on him and his family. I feel bad that my daughters will never know that side of the family. Actually...we just cut ties with dh's mother too so they will not know her as well. But at least we know a little of her health and history.

 

[ChristyM26]

Not my DH but his dad was adopted (which was in the 40's, I believe). All we know about his birth parents is that they were Irish, which doesn't help much. His dad however, died at 47 (from a massive heart attack) so we have an idea that perhaps heart disease runs in their family. Otherwise, we have no ideas. It is a little odd not knowing much.

 

[stacey2061]

my DH wasn't adopted but he was basically shut out by his dad's family and knows nothing of them other than what province they come from. he only met his dad when he was 19, and since then we've seen him maybe 4 times. he has some mental health issues, and we have no hopes of getting much information, though occassionally my MIL blurts out something about her ex's family. we have a few pictures of them but that's it. it really breaks my heart for both DH and DS (and our future kids of course). i've inherited my mom's love of genealogy, and it's hard having all these blanks.

 

[aylaanne]

I was adopted. I know my maternal history, but I don't know anything about my paternal history. I just let it go.

 

[flowers]

I was adopted by my dad and have no contact with my biological father. My mom told me she would tell me who he is if I want to meet him, but I get a little freaked out about it.

 

[risen_joy]

My dd (now 6 1/2 yo) was placed for adoption at birth - wanted the best for her and couldn't give her that - and the bio dad never knew I was even pregnant. (Long story - didn't keep it from him, just had no idea how to find him) So even though it's an open adoption and we send letters/pics/gifts, I have nothing to tell her re her bio dad aside from looks and personality.

 

[lunabelly]

My dh was adopted. He has a relationship with his bio mom now, but she won't tell him anything about his bio dad. I have some scary health things in my family, so it would have been good to know about dh's history, but I don't think his bio mom knows that stuff anyway. She gave us the bio dad's name, but it's super common, so not very likely we'd ever find him. Also, I think she may have made it up.

 

[EmmaJean]

*

 

[angelcat]

My situation isn't exactly the same, but I know VERY little about my child's father's family. I know his mother is still alive, or was 2 years ago. I'm guessing sh'es in her late 70's or early 80's, and healthy afaik. I"m assuming his father has passed away, but I don't know what from. I did ask him about his family health history, and he' said there wasn't anything to tell. He had 2 sisters that I know of, one died from a brain tumour about a year ago. I also know her dad is very healthy considering his lifestyle. Heart's fine, bp fine-all that stuff. And i know he's Irish & Scottish.

What's different in my case is if I had a specific question, I could ask him. Not sure how much he know though.

I'd love to know more about his family, but i"m not sure they know he has a daughter.

 

[AimeeandBrian]

My dad was adopted in 1944 and didn't find out until a well-meaning lady let out the secret after both his parents died. He had been getting yearly colon checks because his sister had polyps. Turned out she wasn't his biological sister. This has bothered my mom because she has no idea what my father, or my sister and I are at risk for. I have never let it bother me, but I do try to live very healthily just in case. It does bother me that I don't know my heritage on my father's side.

 

[WeasleyMum]

Glad to know I'm not alone in not knowing about the genetic history! I felt kind of confused and a little worried. But DP is a healthy guy, and our cultural backgrounds are so far apart that the chances of genetic peculiarities overlapping are slim, I think.

 

[gratefulmum]

Another "almost but not quite."
My dd's bio father is out of the picture. Before I severed ties with his Mom,who I kept up with for about a year I got a basic health background from her. I know basic health of grandparents/parents but whenever we are in the doc's office filling out forms I always feel grossly underinformed.
I do think, however that I could call her in the future in the event of any conditions that needed a more complete history.

 

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I'm not pregnant now but have 3 lo's, my dp is adopted

 

[rebelbets]

My husband is adopted, and I am definitely curious about his bio-family's health history. We had a hard time conceiving our son - four miscarriages in two years before I got a sticky pregnancy. After much testing, we discovered my husband carries a balanced translocation of two of his chromosomes, and it was most likely inherited from one of his bio-parents. Although my husband is normal and healthy, his chromosome rearrangement will cause at least 60 percent of our conceptions to miscarry. We are also at risk for fetal anomalies.

He has no interest at all in finding his bio-family, and I respect that. At the same time, it would be interesting to know their reproductive history - if one of them suffered from recurrent miscarriage, or had a child with disabilities. Our son was born with an unbalanced version of my husband's chromosome rearrangement, and because of that, he is developmentally delayed. I'd like to know if either of his bio-parents ever went on to conceive a child similar to our son.

Anyway, that was kind of a complicated answer to your question - but YES, my husband is adopted, and YES, it bothers me sometimes that I don't know his bio-family's health history.

 

[loriu]

i am adopted and in the past years got in touch with my bio mom (i'm almost 33). it was interesting to get more medical info, esp now that i'm pregnant, but it hasn't provided me with any super illuminating insight. no contact with bio father.

most of your concerns (if you have any specific ones) can be handled by genetic testing of you or your spouse, at least in terms of what the baby might potentially have. my dh had some mild retardation on his side, and with a small tube of blood they could determine if he carried a gene for it. pretty amazing.

it is a mystery, but sometimes mysteries are better than reality!

 

[WeasleyMum]

There's nothing *specific* that worried about, so I'm not really considering genetic testing. If I were at a high risk of anything, or if this baby that I'm carrying turns out to have a genetic thingie, then maybe in the future. I'm basically just curious about the basics, like height, general health, etc.