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<p>I have alot going on situational and really think i've been having bouts of prenatal depression, where i have days that all i do is cry all day and can only get out of the bed to do anything except eat. On top of that i am really regretting this pregnancy...this pregnancy was not planned. And i was very sick for hte first 3-4 months. I feel much better now...other than the depression.</p>
<p>I dont like not wanting this pregnancy, i feel terrible for having these feelings. My DP is not supportive at all and had shut me off emotionally. He is also starting disrespecting me more and more and trying to manipulate me emotionally.</p>
<p>Which all adds up more and more everyday to me regretting the pregnancy. I feel that if I wasnt pregnant it would be easier for me to leave this relationship. I almost feel stuck in it at this point. Sorry for venting but i really need to get it all out before it eats me alive.</p>
<p>I have had thoughts of wanting to talk a  walk and never return....which I know is not good to feel that way...but i cant help it.</p>
 

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<p>Oh gosh, hugs to you!  It does sound like you are depressed.  I highly suggest talking to your prenatal care provider about how you're feeling.  I don't think it's normal pregnancy emotions and unfortunately, these things tend to get worse the longer they go unresolved.  There are so many ways to get better and so much support out there, you need to take care of this right away!</p>
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<p>You are not the first woman to have not-so-pretty feelings about a pregnancy so please don't let this eat at you too much!  I really think that when you're in a better place mentally, your feelings will begin to change.  It may also help if you can try to bond with your baby.  Maybe something as simple as saying "my baby" instead of "my pregnancy" will help.  "Being pregnant" is a little more abstract than "having a baby", if you know what I mean.</p>
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<p>And I'm not sure what to make of your DP.  The way he is treating you is wrong but I have no advice on how you should handle that situation.  However, I really feel that if you can get your depression under control, you'll start to see the whole situation a lot more clearly and will probably know exactly what to do next.  All the best to you.</p>
 

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<p>Mama, I suffered from horrible pregnancy depression with my second child. I even fantasized about jumping off a bridge. The depression went untreated and continued into postpartum. I lost weight until I weighed only 85lbs, my hair fell out, it was truly awful. It was a combination of hormones and situational stress. I did eventually seek help and ended up leaving my abusive partner. When I experienced the depression again with my fourth child I got therapy right away. It was much more under control with the therapy. I strongly recommend talk therapy but if it gets bad enough there are meds you can take. Pregnancy depression is less common than postpartum depression so don't give up seeking professional help. At the very least keep venting here.</p>
 

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<p>Oh mama, you sound like you are really struggling! Please, please seek help. For you, for your other children, for your wee baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Talk to your care provider... find a therapist, maybe even consider medication. if you are unable to make the call for an appointment, do you have a good friend who can do it for you?</p>
<p>I'm currently on meds for anxiety, but I know it's also helping to keep antepartum depression at bay. I had it toward the end of my second pregnancy and it turned into pretty bad PPD after he was born. I wasn't keen on medication but it makes such an amazing difference. Feeling human again changes your outlook so much!</p>
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<p>About not wanting the pregnancy, be gentle with yourself. You're not an awful person for feeling that way. As PPs have said, you're not the first mama to have those feelings. I like the idea of thinking of it as a baby and not a pregnancy. Also, try talking to the baby... tell him/her it's not his/her fault that you feel this way about being pregnant. If you can find ways to express to the baby that even though you feel this way, you will still be mama to him/her and take care of him... seems like it would be important to the little person to hear that.</p>
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<p>Edited b/c my code for the hug emoticon didn't work. I can't find the right one in the list... consider yourself hugged!</p>
 

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<p>I just didn't want to read this without taking the time to offer my caring and support! Like others said, find some help IRL so that you can start dealing with yourself and keep venting/talking here. We can handle it. :)</p>
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<p>And, depressed or not, each pregnancy is different and bonding happens differently too. My dh had a stroke (he recovered, but then the depression almost killed him and all of us) and my pregnancy and my new baby was very..... abstract to me. In fact, I do not recall ds's infancy. It seems I almost blocked it out b/c I was so busy with just.surviving.each.day. We're okay now, but looking back, it was a worry. So, I've been there, sorta kinda. It's always nice to get to the other side and look back and say 'wow, what a tough time.'</p>
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<p>I hope that things can improve so you can get to that side too. Be strong, ask for help, and don't hang up the phone without having an appointment with someone for help. Dr, mw, some dude out of the phone book, crisis center... anyone who can help you out.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #6
<p>The saddest part of all this is we are in Paris of all places so my DP can take care of business and you would think i should be so very happy. Yet when your DP leaves and doesnt call or answer his phone for days at a time in another country..... and then is disrespectful to you in front of others. Then on top of all that....gives you silent treatment...like i'm the one who's done something wrong. It's just not cool at all. I'm so angry i want to go crazy...like throw things off the balcony and attack him. I dont like feeling like this. I've even been more agressive with the children and that is not me at all. I have rescue remedy and bought some stress relief roll-on essential oil from the pharmacy here. But i need more than that. I'm on the verge of going crazy....litterally.</p>
 

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Can you go back home to your family for the rest of your pregnancy? If your husband travels so much for work, he might be stressed out about trying to take care of you at home too. If you were safe with your parents or a sister or something he could probably relax while he travels for work.
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Mamato3wild ponnie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1283089/prenatal-depression-and-not-feeling-attatchment-to-pregnancy#post_16089695"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>The saddest part of all this is we are in Paris of all places so my DP can take care of business and you would think i should be so very happy. Yet when your DP leaves and doesnt call or answer his phone for days at a time in another country..... and then is disrespectful to you in front of others. Then on top of all that....gives you silent treatment...like i'm the one who's done something wrong. It's just not cool at all. I'm so angry i want to go crazy...like throw things off the balcony and attack him. I dont like feeling like this. I've even been more agressive with the children and that is not me at all. I have rescue remedy and bought some stress relief roll-on essential oil from the pharmacy here. But i need more than that. I'm on the verge of going crazy....litterally.</p>
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<br><br><p>Sounds like he is trying to check out... (eyes roll) men suck, especially during pregnancy. Well, mine does sometimes, lol. Even the nice ones often freak out, for some reason. Don't worry about him- cut him loose mentally and take care of yourself. Go to a clinic and ask for help. Don't think of it for yourself, it's for you kids. They need their mommy. Hugs and love to you.</p>
 

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<p>Mamato3wildponnie, how are you doing today?  Have you been able to talk to anyone about the depression?</p>
 

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<p>I just wanted to say that you are not alone, I feel almost the same way.  And my DH is very supportive.  I am just feeling very overwhelmed with my 2 DC now and this was also a surprise pregnancy.  I feel very unattached to the baby at this point and very uncaring.  I cried about a dozen times today.  I do not want to go through birth again, my VBAC was long and traumatic...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So hugs mama.  Does anyone know of any natural remedies to help with these 'blues'?</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #11
<p>We are still in France...so i havent really been able to talk about it with anyone. I'm not crying as much as i have been. My life is still all over the place. I have been making sure that i take my Omega 3 faithfully. I truely believe, that they help me mentally. And i've also took over my mind.....instead of responding right away to a situation negatively, I stop for a moment before I respond and gain my composure and think before i respond. this has helped me shut my mind up....lol.</p>
<p>I have so much on my plate.....this Christmas i get my big kids and now my ex doesnt want them to come to Mexico...because of the violence. So now i'm dealing with what do I do about Christmas....i really want to spend the time with all my family together....but now i'm facing staying in a hotel just to see all my kids. So I know it will work it's self out. But that is very stressing.</p>
 

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<p>I have a good friend who lives in Paris and she just had a baby earlier this year. I could ask her for a recommendation of a therapist, if you like. I am glad you are being able to re-train your thoughts some. Keep us posted.</p>
 
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