The best thing I did for myself was to buy a deep freezer and fill it with lots of meals. That way, all I had to do was pull something out, put it in the oven, and wait for it to smell up the house. I used lots of disposable foil pans (I know, bad for the earth!), so that clean-up was really easy. If I was having a really good day, I would make something from scratch, but if I was tired, or the children were having trouble, it was nice to pull something out of the freezer. If I was ambitious, I also put together a salad to go with the meal. I don't really like endless takeout meals (and it wasn't really possible, given where we lived at the time), so this was my gift to myself.
I also made sure my house was spotless, so that I didn't feel like I needed to get right up and clean right away. I figured that my mom would clean before she left, dh would keep up the laundry and vacuuming, and I could do minor stuff like keep up with clutter. That way, I figured I had about 3 weeks before I really needed to do any heavy cleaning. Even then, I just did little bits at a time (a sink here, toilet there, running the dishwasher, folding a load of laundry, etc.)
My mom stayed with me for a week after the baby was born, and she was invaluable in helping with meals, laundry, errands, big brother ideas, etc. Get someone to help you with the day-to-day running of your house: a good friend who can come over once or twice a week to do laundry and cleaning, grandparents/aunts/uncles/friends to help with the older child or children, etc.
I healed much faster after my second birth than my first; probably had something to do with my wonderful midwives vs. an ambivalent dr.. The midwives gave me an herbal tincture to help with the afterpains (I think it contained cramp bark), as well as an herbal sitz bath (wonderful!!!). Talk to your midwife about what she does/recommends for afterpains and healing of tears.
Good luck! margaret