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My DD is 3 and I want to prepare her for the birth. I know its still a ways off but what kind of things should I do? Should I get some birth videos? (is that TMI?) What does everyone else do? Any good books? I'm clueless!<br><br>
Oh and I don't think she quite understands that I'm pregnant and a baby is coming. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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My DS was almost 3 when DD was born. We bought the book "Welcome with Love" and read it almost every night. It is still one of my kids' favorite books and we have been reading it again this time! It is perfect for us because it is a homebirth book and it prepares kids for what they will see/hear if they are present for the labor and birth. I think it would be good for any child though... the way the mom's labor is described, the fact that she might make noises, etc. And also the pictures that show her laboring/the baby coming out are realistic but beautiful, not too bloody.<br><br>
A side note... I felt like a lot of the birth/big sibling books set up these expectations of sibling rivalry or jealousy that I really disliked! So watch out. Also some of them talked about mom going away and coming home with baby which weren't applicable to us but might be to other families.<br><br>
Oh, we also looked at pics of fetuses developing in the womb, so we could talk about the baby growing and see how it was getting closer and closer to being ready to be born and live with us.<br><br>
Later in the pregnancy we did borrow some gentle birth videos from our midwife and watch them with DS. We answered whatever questions he had during them and afterwards.<br><br>
I would say he was well prepared for my labor and he never freaked out, even when I was really noisy. He just came in and out as he wanted too... he was not that interested actually! But at least he had a chance to be there and he does still remember it, which I love. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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The Sears family makes really nice books called "Baby on the way" and "What baby needs". I bought them to read to my DS for the next 6mo. so he can be part of what's happening. I liked that they portrayed breastfeeding and bed sharing and that it calls the sibling older instead of big since that can make the sibling feel pressure. The pictures are really nice and my son loves to sit while I read tem and when it gets to the part about how babies cry to express needs he always points to the baby and says "baby cry". He doesn't get it yet but I am hoping it will help.
 

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My dd will be 2 four days after my due date. What can I do for her, at a young age? We already talk about the baby and how she used to be in my tummy. She got to go to the u/s and saw the heartbeat, and seems very interested.
 

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I'm with Jill... but he'll be 2 six days after my EDD (how cool is that?!) Right now, I'm just happy if he understands that he can't ride my belly like a horse.<br>
We looked through some pregnancy magazines, but I'm sure nothing sunk in. He likes babies though so that's good.
 

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Cool! Thanks guys! Ill check out those books! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I'm with Jill... <b>but he'll be 2 six days after my EDD</b> (how cool is that?!) Right now, I'm just happy if he understands that he can't ride my belly like a horse.</td>
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<span>Mine too</span> -- Theo truends two 6 days after our EDD. but -- I am having NO LUCK with the momma's tum is not a jumping toy.<br><br>
I am getting a new carrier NOW that put him on my back (actuall in May) cuz soon the bump is not gonna let him ride up front. i am trying to make all his transistions before i HAVE to -- so i have more time, i am less paniced about it and so he -- maaaaybe -- doesn't make the conncetion. Also while i do not plan to wear them both A LOT i need him on the back if ia m to do it at all. also -- i want him to have something else his so the sling is not a terroty issues when the new one is in it. the back carrier will be "his" -- then in 2 years when the new baby is ready for it Theo should have moved on a little.<br><br>
We call his big car seat his big seat and theo's own seat. it becaomes a booster, so the new child will never be in it -- it will be Theo's the whole time. A little ownership that he can know the baby won't get.<br><br>
DH is also taking a much more active role in bedtime and night time pareitings -- that is a slooooooow transition, i have to keep reminding DH 17 months of habit is hard to switch like a light. BUT DH has ben able to put himt o bed twice, and slept alone with him 6 hours one night before bringin him to me to nurse.<br><br>
We got two books (so far, i am book addict so more are one the way) that seem to be working well.<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Waiting for Baby</span><br><br>
and<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Our New Baby</span><br><br>
they are picture books ONLY and they show a gender nutral toddler. so it is, of course, Theo, doing all these things.<br><br>
in <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Waiting for Baby</span> they sit as a family asn reaed books, daddy makes dinner while momma rests, theo shops wiht momma, and decorates the nusery with momma, put together the crib with dad, goes to a doc appt to see mom get her bp checked and sees and us. them grandma and pa come and mom and dad leave in teh car, then the dad takes theo to see moma nd the baby in the hsoptial.<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Our New Baby</span> shows the baby in a car seat, nurseing, getting a bath, sleeping in a bassennt while mom and dad read to Theo and getting a diaper and crying. Grandma and Granpa come see the babay with wrapped gifts too.<br><br>
we read the first one A LOT he brings it to me daily -- he is really into the page where the grandparents arrive and showed my mom that page. they bring a ball, my mom is gonna bring a ball <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
when we read it, he will pat me when we talk about the momma and lift my shirt over my tum when we talk about the baby.<br><br>
other than that about once every other day i will comment "theo is going to get to share nurse-nurse with his little brother or sister, that is very special not many brothers get to do that". at first he'd grab the other boob -- now he smiles. he even put his puppy dog on the other boob once when i said it.<br><br>
I have been pointing out real life babies and brothers we see in the stores and play area, the smaller the baby the better. Kinda a "naming" process for him -- i think he knows what a baby is, in picutres, but this is flesh, and also to name what a big brother is. YK?<br><br>
other than that we have<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">We Hasve a baby</span> -- nice drawings, and simple words i skip, but PAPAER pages, the first paper page book i have left out in his books. he is doing pretty good with it -- the damage is minor and not intentional<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">How you were born</span> -- waaaaaaay toooooo old. it is jsut on a shelf. DN might look at it.<br><br>
We call Theo's room his rooma dn the guest room with te crib/ changeing table the nusery now.<br><br>
I am pointing out what is LOUD and what is QUIET -- so he can start to learn that.<br><br>
we are working even more on soft touches.<br><br>
We are starting to teach him to wait -- even if it is 10 seconds, then we'll build up, so the first time the new baby prevents immidate responce it won't be a freak out OR all the fault of the baby.<br><br>
I say things like "oh you are gonna be a great brother, you give good hugs" -- NOT big brother.<br><br>
We are NOT useing BIG -- DS is not going to be forced to gorw up for theis child -- both will nurse, both will co sleeep and so on ....<br><br>
i point out that at least one of his freinds from playgroup (James) is also going to get a baby brother or sister in Nov just when Theo does, and won't that be fun??<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=647182" target="_blank">Here is a thread</a> I started about 3 weeks ago in Toddlers about what they can understand. I caught some grief that i was talking about it too soon and would induce anxiesty -- but honesly i haven't seen that (and we do not talk about it all the time, thus implying the new baby is more fun / important / exciting than Theodore)....................i want it to be more of a non-issue -- as much as it can be -- when it happnes.... if you KWIM?<br><br><span style="color:#0000FF;"><b>alwasy looking for more ideas.</b></span><br><br>
AImee
 

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i also created a list on amazon.com of books that i have had suggest to me -- mostly here on MDC -- if anyone wants to see it. (or i can list the books here for you).
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Aimee21972</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937172"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i also created a list on amazon.com of books that i have had suggest to me -- mostly here on MDC -- if anyone wants to see it. (or i can list the books here for you).</div>
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I'd like to see it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:<br><br>
Good idea about the loud and quiet, I'll have to start that!<br><br>
We're reading Welcome with love to ds (who will turn 2 three weeks b/f my DD) I also have some pics from his birth that we look at at least once a week.<br><br>
We might get a video or two.<br><br>
When DS turned one I got him a 12" Waldorf doll that looks like him. Since we've been telling him that "mama has a baby in her belly" he seems very interested in his own "dede", snuggling and carrying him around. But I'm not sure how that will translate when the actual "dede" arrives! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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theo has been hugging puppy a lot<br><br>
I also have been asking him to do simple things "please go get momma the waterbottle on the floor" -- which he can do with ease -- then telling him "oh you are so helopful, momma likes it when you help her".<br><br>
with loud and quiet -- we are going thougha LOUD time of screeching -- but i realized I can't ask him to be quiet if he dosn't know what quiet is. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
we bought Welcome with Love -- but it was too old and not at all what T will expereince (what a great HB though) so we gave it to a mom planning a hb who currently has a 3 yo.<br><br>
books:<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FHello-Baby-Lizzy-Rockwell%2Fdp%2F0517800748%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_1%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1177428006%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">Hello Baby! (Paperback) by Lizzy Rockwell</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FHello-New-Baby-Teresa-Imperato%2Fdp%2F1581173458%2Fref%3Dsr_1_6%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1177428006%26sr%3D1-6" target="_blank">Hello, New Baby! (Hardcover)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0916291979%2Fref%3Dreg_hu-wl_mrai-recs%2F104-6962772-7982304" target="_blank">What's Inside? (Hardcover)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1929132247%2Fref%3Dreg_hu-wl_mrai-recs%2F104-6962772-7982304" target="_blank">After that.</a> (same author)<br><br>
too old for mine-- but nice for a 3 or 4 year old -- <a href="http://http//www.amazon.com/Hello-Baby-Jenni-Overend/dp/1845070232/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-6962772-7982304?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177428006&sr=1-2" target="_blank">Hello Baby (Hardcover)<br>
by Jenni Overend (Author)</a><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FMothers-Lap-Ann-Herbert-Scott%2Fdp%2F0395629764%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_1%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1177427962%26sr%3D8-1" target="_blank">On Mother's Lap</a> also avaiable in Spanish<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0805059296%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI2UAZU5KT0W0A9%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Waiting for Baby (Hardcover) by Harriet Ziefert</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0974188212%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DII1TMGY5IILXQ%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Look Who's Going to Be a Big Brother (Hardcover) by Renee Raab Whitcombe</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0976719878%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DIEGRPJNUNC0R6%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">I'm Going to be a Big Brother (Hardcover) by Brenda Bercun</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0060295864%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI301N6339RJGCC%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">I Used To Be the Baby (Hardcover) by Robin Ballard (Illustrator)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2FB000FVHJ7Q%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI17ATRCBUAK2KH%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Little Brown Bear and the Bundle of Joy</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0763622540%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI28YM5VH8EC4VN%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Do You Still Love Me? (Hardcover)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0684187124%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI3KTTMLOL6LLEV%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">My New Baby And Me: A First Year Record Book For Big Brothers And Big Sisters (Paperback)</a><br><br>
a little old for mine -- but a 3 yo might like it ---- <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0761112006%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI2XPN95OG4AJUB%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Before You Were Born (Hardcover)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0807591106%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI3A6GPZ2CCBE8%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Will There Be a Lap for Me? (Paperback)</a><br><br>
the only character on the list I LIKE the critters --- <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0307119424%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI2RC8B2DDUHY7O%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">The New Baby (Paperback)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1400309670%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DITVQKIKEHRCDP%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">There's a Brand-New Baby at Our House and . . . I'm the Big Brother! (Paperback)</a><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0688145078%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DIDWWSUJTGH8NH%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">I'm a Big Brother (Hardcover)</a><br><br>
also maybe a little ond for mine -- but maybe better for a 3 yo -- <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F080757550X%2Fref%3Dwl_it_dp%2F104-6962772-7982304%3Fie%3DUTF8%26coliid%3DI3TVVYRWONIZLN%26colid%3D3BEDR71T7E6QH" target="_blank">Sophie and the New Baby</a>
 

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oh and some of the BROTHER books have a "sister" book too -- but I didn't save them. By if you "check by the same author" ther eis often one.<br><br>
Just a FYI<br><br>
Aimee<br><br>
yess i am a book addict and i am trying my best ot get my kids hookd too --
 

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yes, thanks for the list. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> There are quite a few of us that have november 05 babes isn't there?<br><br>
Luckily she understands the process of birth. We live on a farm and she gets to see the cows being born, and the baby chickens, etc. She thinks it's funny. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:
 

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I was showing DS birth photos in my books -- but DH asked me to stop.<br><br>
DH is not real comfy with them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> but his point, and it seems vaid to me, was that Theo doesn't yet have the abltiy to process the photos.. and no frame of refernce to connect them to. and we do not want to creat anxiety or fear by giving him more information than he can handle.<br><br>
we do look at teh pictures of the babys JUST born and scruched up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
one thing I am trying to do -- me .......stop calling him the baby. We have "talks" and I tell him he can be the baby as long as he needs and that momma is not done being his momma. BUT I am trying not to call him the baby, so when there is a baby, it is less of an issue. YK? today I caught myself saying "let's go put a diaper on the baby butt" and changed it to "let's go put a diaper on Theo"...........and i NOT NOT saying he has to grow up or can't be my baby too -- but let's be real, if i am goong to refere to the baby as the baby.... then i need not to refere to him that way -- JMO><br><br>
AImee
 

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my dd will be 27 months when the baby comes. we are taking things real slow. i told her once that i had a baby in my belly and she didn't really seem to pay attention, but a few days later showed my belly to dh and told him "baby". since then, she seems to like to talk about her being in my belly and the baby now in my belly. don't know though how much she can really "get".<br><br>
we have two hand-me-down books about new babies and she likes those. really though, her whole world is just the three of us. all of her imaginary games are with the three of us. i am trying to point out brothers and sisters and to bring them into her imaginary play a little and i tell her stories about our cats when they were kittens and have added in a lot about borthers/sisters- she really loves the stories, but i still don't think she understands the relationship yet.<br><br>
it is funny- i had not thought of not using the word "big" but i just havn't found myself using it. seems like a good idea though.<br><br>
i have been pretty succesful in the last week of night weaning (she was nursing all night at my empty breast and it was just too much for me) and i feel like that is a big step for us. i am still not sure what i want our nursing relationship to be, but nights were our biggest problem and it is so early in the pregnancy that i don't think she will have a connection to the baby.<br><br>
good thread- i guess i need to put more thought into how i am going about this.<br>
mcs
 

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for what it is worth (very littlei am sure) -- here is another thread i started a while ago <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> about phraseing for older sibs<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=642939" target="_blank">Thread</a><br><br>
Aimee
 

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Each boy is three years older than the next. Does that make sense? Anyway, I always bought the three year old a gift from the baby. My oldest remembers his treasured elephants that he got from his brother. And he never questioned how the baby could get him a gift.<br><br>
The boys are old enough, I won't be doing that now. I am wondering how to prepare OLDER kids for a homebirth! I'll have to start a thread on that soon.
 

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here is <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=652942" target="_blank">another thread</a> that i thought popel might want to look at -- if you are doing an away from home birth<br><br>
Aimee
 

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There might be some good ideas on the homebirth thread, too.<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=20" target="_blank">Here</a>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Aimee21972</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7937131"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I caught some grief that i was talking about it too soon and would induce anxiesty -- but honesly i haven't seen that (and we do not talk about it all the time, thus implying the new baby is more fun / important / exciting than Theodore)....................i want it to be more of a non-issue -- as much as it can be -- when it happnes.... if you KWIM?</div>
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I don't think you started too early at all! I was always talking with the boys before the birth and I think it's best to work it all out as much as possible, realizing you'll never work EVERYTHING out. I don't think it cause anxiety unles YOU'RE anxious and they see that.
 
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