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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I love how preschools have jobs like "line leader," "snack helper" etc. I would love to do something like that in my house with my 2 kids (very loosley-because one is 20 months, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)<br><br>
I am so scatterbrained I cant just "remember" to alternate. Is there any kind of "system" for this?<br><br>
I need some kind of "chore" system. I told my ds that he would have to start earning "things" from now on since he is a big 4 year old-I wont buy him things at the store, or give him quarters for the claw machine etc.<br><br>
I am struggling to set this up because I want him to do certain things because he is part of our family unit, and then "extras" he can earn points or money for...<br><br>
I confuse myself....This post went haywire<br><br>
What do you do?<br><br>
Jenny
 

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We only have one pre-schooler, but I set up my HFA 9 yo with easy jobs, and the 3 yo is his "helper". So G. (9 yo) has to clear, wipe and set the table for meals. J (3 yo) lays out the flatware while G. lays out plates and cups. (We do have Corellewear, but I'd rather not risk DD dropping it anyway! lol)<br><br>
G. is to feed and water the cat, and water the dog. J. helps him feed the cat, and she LOVES to help Daddy feed the fish.
 

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Please ignore if I am taking this in the wrong direction.<br><br>
I feel like your expectations may be too high. A 4yo has a very limited sense of earning, and a very in the moment set of expectations. What you are proposing may backfire at this age since the maturity and responsibility have not been obtained yet.<br><br>
At 4, my children were responsible for themselves to a certain level (setting, clearing the small table, sweeping under, cleaning their bedrooms, making their beds, sorting their laundry - my youngest started washing his at this age) because they were part of the family and that's what we do - we take care of ourselves, help each other, etc.<br><br>
BUT, there is also a beginning awareness of money and what it does. A small allowance was given seperate from the chores, and the opportunity to earn money when they wanted to was available. A young child needs it very specific, though. My youngest fell in love with a duplo Thomas set. We figured out how much it would cost, made a goal chart, and after a few weeks he got it.<br><br>
For Christmas last year I got the boys <a href="http://www.msgen.com/assembled/money_savvy_pig.html" target="_blank">Money Savvy pigs</a>. They are piggy banks seperated into four compartment - spend, save, donate and invest. There are little stickers that come with it to show what they are saving for and it definitely helps with our money talks and understanding budgeting.
 

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I've been thinking about this too lately.<br><br>
My DS is an 3 and definitely capable of helping out with clearing the table, setting the table, etc. I think, though, that I'm going to keep this "reward"-free at the moment. I want him to appreciate doing these things "just because". I want him to understand/appreciate that he's a member of the family, and he's big enough/mature enough to contribute in certain ways. I know he'll be psyched to do it....he loves to be included in "grown-up" stuff! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I have a fear (not sure if it's justified or not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) that if I reward him for doing things around the house that he'll come to expect it. Based on his personality, I think that a reward system might backfire on us. I think that it would probably work for a different kind of child though.<br><br>
still mulling it over....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">R
 

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After all the holidays, I would like to start giving an allowance. I like the idea of that piggy bank.<br><br>
But I hold chores and allowance seperately. We are broke, so giving my kids allowance will allow them to save up and responsibly buy things I otherwise couldn't get them.<br><br>
My dd (almost 3) feeds the cats & dog, helps fold washclothes, puts her dishes up, helps put laundry away, cleans their room with the big kids, and dusts. She would do more but she's so darn small I can't let her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I feel like I am starting a little bit late with my 4 year old because my 20 month old knows how to help out more than her big brother! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
When people suggested I teach ds to pick up at that age though, I thought they were crazy! I didnt know they could!<br><br>
So I have to gently teach him to help out around the house (which is hard when dad doesnt really help much. ds cant go to work and earn the money like daddy models) I want him to be self sufficiant when he leaves the house-know how to take care of himself so he isnt totally buried like I sometimes get.<br><br>
(I had no consistant education and I struggle with consistancy so much myself I dont know how to teach it to ds!!!)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>transformed</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9003154"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am so scatterbrained I cant just "remember" to alternate. Is there any kind of "system" for this?</div>
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I think this is a set-up for rivalry between your kids. I wouldn't designate certain jobs "yours today, his tomorrow," because inevitably the person who doesn't get to do it today will want to and the one who has to do it today won't want to.<br><br>
My two youngest are 355 days apart. I don't alternate chores. I either assign ongoing chores to each of them or just say, "This needs to be done; you do this part and you do that part."<br><br>
dm
 

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I agree. In our house, everyone has a job, each according to ability. DD doesn't like carrying things down the stairs, so I don't send laundry to the laundry room with her. But she CAN pick up her art bin (just crayons and paper for now) and her books.<br>
DS #2 is a klutz. So we don't ask him to do this dishes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: But he can take out the trash and clear the table.<br>
DS#3 is eleven, so we expect a lot more from him in terms of helping out around the house. He does the dishes, and wherever else I need him. As soon as I get some organization in place, I'll be teaching him to do the laundry. Including how to iron and fold (something his daddy professes ignorance in.) lol<br><br>
We don't give the kids an allowance. They'll get one when the budget allows MOM to have one. I find it a little silly to let <i>children</i> have "mad" money when I have none, and have more "need" for discretionary funds. Of course lately, everything that doesn't get spent on food (out of the family grocery budget) gets spent on HS books.....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I need to do some kind of allowance because if my kids grow up as clueless as I was about money-I will think I have failed them. I cant think of any other way to teach money skills except with real money. Mabye ds is a little young though!<br><br>
What do you do when your dc refuses to do their chore?
 

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Get the book "Capitate Your kids" (I don't remember the author at the moment, sorry). It talks about how to instill fiscal literacy in children. AMAZING book, though the stuff he talks about doing, you don't really start until the child is about nine.<br><br>
We, too keep allowance completely separate from chores. I don't pay them to be part of the family (that's our philosophy, not everyone's I understand).<br><br>
Before then, (I don't remember if I got this from his book or not, it's been so long since I read it LOL) I started both my boys getting an "allowance" at 5. It's $1 for each year of age, per week, which seems like a lot, but here's how we do it.<br><br>
When they start getting the allowance, I give them four large mason jars and some glass paint. The child gets to paint each of them differently, how ever they want. They designate one mason jar each as follows:<br><br>
1. Save (for "big" purchases)<br>
2. Spend now (for incidentals, i.e. if ds wants a mcd's toy, HE has to buy it from his spend now $$.)<br>
3. Donate<br>
4. Invest (when this reaches $20 we put it into his savings account. When the savings reaches $100 we transfer it over to his money market account) This is money for college, business startup or a car.<br><br>
The rules are that you have to put AT LEAST 10% of your allowance each week into donate and AT LEAST 20% into invest. The rest, the child decides what to do with it.<br><br>
Every week we count the money (every time we "pay" him, we try to give him odd currency, like change for part of it or we'll hand him a $10 bill and ask for change... just to help him with the math part) and quarterly, we'll ask him about the donate money (is there something you want to donate to NOW, or do you want to wait? If he gets to December without donating anything, then he can use it to do the mitten tree at church or something like that).<br><br>
Generally, I'm amazed at how much he puts into donate... more often than not, it's WAY more than the 50cents required. Second, he really THINKS before spending that spend money... I know if he's willing to part with the cash, he must REALLY want it. The "save" money, he can buy whatever "big ticket" item he wants with it (generally, depending on what it is, we will pitch in some of the money). He used this to buy his Nintendo DS a few months ago and he's used it to buy games.<br><br>
This is working well for us, though, your mileage may vary.
 

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We don't do allowances.<br><br>
What we do is this:<br><br>
Beginning at the age of five, on your birthday, you get one priviledge and one responsibility. We make a big deal of both things. This year, my 5 yo was given the responsibility of taking out the compost when I ask him to do it (no "laters" allowed) and the priviledge of being able to see G rated movies in the movie theater.<br><br>
Next year, he will add on (his choice in consulation) another responsibility and priviledge.<br><br>
He does not get money for this. The chore and the priviledge are connected. Each year is a new rite of passage of sorts. You are growing up...you are able to do more independently...you are also responsible for more things in the family. That is part of growing up.<br><br>
He can earn money by doing extras. Right now he isn't very interested in earning money, but when it comes time that he is, we will have a list of jobs every week that need to be accomplished and a $$ amount next to it. If it is completed, you earn the cash. Cash can also be obtained by garage sales or making up a business, with which I will devote my time and expertise to helping it succeed. Eli has decided that our town-wide garage sale is the perfect opportunity to sell some of his baby toys so that he can afford some other toys he would like to have. That seems reasonable, so we are picking and choosing toys for this venture over the next week or so.<br><br>
This is my and my husband's plan. We have given this alot of thought over the years, especially considering that this aspect of parenting was completely screwed up in both of our houses. (He got an allowance with no responsibilities whatsoever.....I had tons of responsibilities, but no priviledges and money was lorded over my head with no real way to earn it. I was powerless to do anything, go out with friends, etc., unless I was on tip-top terms with my parents. I could go on and on about this matter , and how it has permanently screwed up my relationship with my sister, but it is a long story.....)<br><br>
So...that's what we are doing.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:
 

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When I was in middle/high school, my mom was single and working and going to school- both full time. She had a HUGE chore list for us kids that rotated weekly. We earned an allowance, but it was small enough that I would often choose to skip my chores and not receive it. Then there would be a big fight about getting the chores done, and I felt it was a really unfair system. My mother now says she regrets giving us so much to do.<br><br>
I think presenting chores as something to be done for the good of the family, and not as a way to earn money is the way to go. We really try to stress the importance of being happy without material posessions, so giving an allowance seems to go against that for our family. Children can learn about money by being included in grocery shopping, and even bill paying as they get older. They learn everything by watching us as it is. I don't think that getting allowance is really teaching them financial responsibility, since they don't have anything that they NEED to spend money on. They just have the privilege of buying what they want. That's not very realistic!<br><br>
We have started singing while the kids pick up the playroom and living room, and that makes it much easier for them for some reason. I just keep singing until it's clean, and everyone's happy!
 

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I hear you about the toddler being more responsible than the big kid--we have the same problem here!<br><br>
I haven't read all the responses (and I need to, carefully), but in our house, we treat allowance and chores separately. DD1 (5 in two weeks) gets a small allowance every week no matter what, to save for things she wants to buy. There have been many times where she blew it every week on doodads. However, recently, she saved $30 to buy two Lazytown action figures she really wanted, and there were several occasions where she wanted little things and I said she could use her allowance if she wanted, but did she really want that little thing more than the thing she was saving for? And every time, she put the little thing back. Thus, she's already more responsible about money than I am <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I also offer opportunities to make extra money if she wants to work toward something--we're not quite there yet, but working on it! The next step is working toward savings and charity-oriented funds.<br><br>
We don't have set chores, because we don't have much of a routine these days, but there is always the expectation that when I say I need help, everyone pitches in (including the toddler). This might include cleaning up the toys (most frequently!), occupying her sister while I cook dinner, setting the table when we eat a normal meal, putting away her own laundry etc. Sometimes she resists, or asks me she can be paid a quarter for something of that nature. I explain that those everyday things are expected because she is part of the family, and doing daily cleaning and chores are the responsibility of all family members. So far, she gets it. It doesn't work every time, but it works more often than it used to, and more often than not, these days.<br><br>
In the past I've been tempted to tell her she's not getting her allowance because she's given me a hard time about cleaning up a mess she made, and I've had to stop myself, because in most cases, she'd tell me, "Fine, I don't want the money." And that's not the point of either system, in our house. Chores are expected because you're part of the family and have responsibilities, and allowance is given because you're part of the part of the family and have needs as well.<br><br>
Lots of people do it differently. I like MarieandChris's concept of a privilege and a responsibility a lot, except I'd be hard put to think of a privilege she'd earn each year! I'll have to think more about that. But this is how it is in our house.
 

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I have a detailed chore chart up on my wall for my kids (all except the baby) and also the 3 year old I take care of full time. They each have two jobs per day, one to be done after breakfast and one after dinner. When it comes to chores I believe firmly kids are often capable of more than some parenst believe. And with 6 kids ages 2 months,4 months, 2 yrs, 3 yrs, 4 yrs and 6 yrs....well, I could use teh help! I actually do not do ANY kind of reward system becaus emy way of looking at it is they need to be aprt of tehfamily unit and share responsibility plus whose to say when they get older tehy will just balk at chores and willingly forgo the money or whatever. My kids actually enjoy chores and usually do them pretty willingly.<br>
Plus, I really want self suffiecent kids. Youd be surprised what a toddler can do! My son Bailey is only 27 months and his chores include :emptying the clothes in the dryer into a basket and pushing it into mamas room, stripping the bed linens so they can be washed, sweeping the porch with his little broom, handing mom the dishes from the dishwasher so she can put them away, wiping down the table and the counters, vacumming up crumbs under the dirt devil.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Tonia-I like that. 2 jobs a day and no rewards. (I hate rewards but sadly I still use them) I dont think they should do something to get an external reward.<br><br>
I need to be more self disciplined in order to have a chore system that works but since we are normall home at breakfast and dinner time, thats a great time to stick chores in. :)
 

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I just ordered the chore chart geared towards preschoolers from Rainbow Resource... it was uber-cheap. I'll let you know how it goes. It's on page 53 of the monster catalog. $1.75. Looks cute and perfect for preschoolers...
 

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Very cool Dani! Kids go nutso for charts. We have them all over the place here. Our rotine chart, our chore chart, our rules chart, our weather and days of the week chart, etc...... My kids love to have me tell them what thier chore is for that time of day and get to accomplish it. So often we assume we need to bribe them. But being that I am a single mom and child care provider there is NO WAY I can do it all myself and keep sane, KWIM? I refuse to run myslef ragged like that. Someday thier future wives wil thank me. LOL
 

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All three of my kids get allowance. My oldest gets $10 a month. My five year old gets $1 a week. My four year old gets 50 cents a week. It is not tied to chores in any way. It is their fun money. I also don't use it to teach them about money because I think they learn those lessons best by watching my dh and I handle money. I will never enforce a "this much to savings, this much to charity" rule, either, because, as I said, their allowance is their fun money.<br><br>
We only buy our kids toys at birthdays and Christmas. Anything else they want is their responsibility to save for and buy. It relieves us of being nagged for things, keeps us from being overwhelmed with stuff, and protects us from always having to tell the kids, "We can't afford that." They know that if they want something, they have to save and buy it.<br><br>
Of course, we buy our kids art supplies and things like floaties for the pool, books, etc., but in terms of "I saw it at the store and I want it," the answer is always, "Save your money."<br><br>
My kids do have consequences for not doing their chores, but loss of allowance is not one of them, because the allowance and the chores are not tied together.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dharmamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9011728"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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My kids do have consequences for not doing their chores, but loss of allowance is not one of them, because the allowance and the chores are not tied together.</div>
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What are they? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:
 
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