[Joywith5]

My three year old has been having some trouble the past several weeks. Complains of pain in the shaft of his p*nis, and is constantly tugging at his underwear. We took him to the doctor, who says that he needs a tiny snip in his foreskin so that it will retract; also he says that right now he is at risk of infection until this problem is taken care of. We are having him take long soaks in the tub 2x per day as a comfort measure--it really helps a lot. Has anyone dealt with this? I would appreciate hearing about any experiences. Does this type of procedure require general anesthesia? Has anyone found an option other than surgery??
Thanks in advance!

 

[CallMeMommy]

That sounds unnecessary. It's perfectly normal for the foreskin to stay fused and not be retractable until puberty. What might be happening is called separation trauma, where the foreskin starts to separate from the glans and can cause stinging and burning. If that's what it is, you could keep doing the baths since they sound like they help, or have him pee in the water if peeing makes it hurt worse. If anything, I'd ditch that doctor and find a foreskin-friendly doctor since the one you have sounds a little cut-happy. This site http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/ and this site http://www.nocirc.org/ have a whole slew of information about normal male anatomy, and I think the doctors opposing circumcision site can give you names of "good" doctors.

 

[tutucrazy]

Your son's foreskin is perfectly NORMAL!!!! Run away from that doctor as fast as you can. Some pain is a normal sign of separation, consider it a growing pain. It will go away. Please read these threads and I'd advice that you don't consult with doctors about this. Most US doctors don't know a thing about the development of the intact boy!!! Soak in a tub with a little baking soda will make it feel better. You don't need to do anything else.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...893&highlight=

Quote:

SPECIAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE INTACT BOY: During childhood/adolescence your son will go through a normal separation process as the foreskin separates from the glans. As I said before, the foreskin is fused during childhood to protect the developing penis from feces and other pathogens. Separation is different for each boy and happens at a different age for each boy. During this time he might experience some irritation, itching, stinging, minor redness, minor swelling, ballooning, spraying, smegma pearls, uneven retraction, etc. These are all totally NORMAL and resolve by themselves. I get get many concerned parents come here asking about their son's irritated, red, or slightly inflamed penis. 97% of the time it is just normal separation occurring. Some boys don't experience any of this but most boys have 1 of these symptoms at some point especially around ages 2-5 when boys really begin to explore their genitals with their hands. During self-discovery is a prime time for separation trauma to appear. UNLESS it gets increasingly worse, extremely inflamed, he has fever, or you suspect yeast infection there is nothing to worry about. (Bacterial infections are VERY RARE and usually only occur only after forcible retraction or a wound to the penis.) Usually the symptoms of normal separation resolve themselves within 48 hours. Due to the fact that US doctors know very little about the development of the intact boy, it is wise to wait it out and let this resolve on its own. Since boys tend to be more "hands on" with their genitals and their genitals are not as internal these symptoms appear more frequently than with girls. You may want to remind your son to be gentle with his privates as he begins to self-explore.

All about normal separation:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=764732?

Boys with foreskin don't have problems. The only problem is the doctors that don't understand the normal development of the intact boy.

 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Holy Cow he is only 3 he isnt supposed to be retractable though from your description it sounds like he is starting the process. Read the link above about normal seperation and I think you will see he is totally normal.

I would be very tempted to switch dr's with that kind of advice

 

[MaryLang]

Oh no!!! Please follow tutucrazy's links. My ds went through the same thing at that age. My ped wanted to retract him, do not let anyone do this! Most doctors are not familiar with an intact penis, so the solution to everything is cir or retract. It lasted about 2wks and that was it! Not another complaint since.

 

[chaoticzenmom]

My almost 4yo had that. He has a very loose foreskin, but it's not retractable. I think that it might have had to do with him playing with it more. I think he tugged on it or something. He likes his penis and I even once caught him trying to put a small toy into his foreskin

Dress him in something that will make it difficult for him to get to his penis for a few days and see if that doesn't help. I realized with my son that he'd been in jogging pants for a long time and had been messing with it more often. When I put him in jeans more often, the problem went away.

I also stopped putting soap in the bathtub. We had been doing bubblebaths and I stopped those.
Also, you might get him some cranberry juice and give him lots of water, just in case it's a slight UTI.

I wouldn't be "snipping" anything just yet.

 

[tutucrazy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom My almost 4yo had that. He has a very loose foreskin, but it's not retractable. I think that it might have had to do with him playing with it more. I think he tugged on it or something. He likes his penis and I even once caught him trying to put a small toy into his foreskin Dress him in something that will make it difficult for him to get to his penis for a few days and see if that doesn't help. I realized with my son that he'd been in jogging pants for a long time and had been messing with it more often. When I put him in jeans more often, the problem went away.

hehe. Good solution! Manipulation most certainly does stimulate separation and the separation symptoms that follow.

I'm so happy you came here OP! It really breaks my heart to see parents get such horrible advice from foreskin-ignorant doctors. I hope you stick around, there are some really great people here! Since it is our business to know about the intact boy we really do know more than 95% of the US doctors. You had very good intuition to question this doctor!!! It make me shudder to think how many intact boys are being circed b/c their parents did not know/think to question the doctor. Good job momma!

 

[Night_Nurse]

It's just sounds like you need to find a new doctor. The one you have knows nothing about normal male anatomy.
Everything you described about your son sounds completely normal.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

This thread may have some info for you as well:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1073777

 

[Joywith5]

I really appreciate all the great advice and support.
Chaoticzenmom, great idea about the jeans. My little guy is always in sweats, and I really think that could be contributing to the problem...now I have an excuse to shop!!

:
I wanted to share what prompted me to run to this forum. Our doctor gave us the name of a pediatric urologist, and suggested we get him in right away. I called this morning to set up the appointment, thinking I was arranging something fairly benign. You know, just a little snip. Well, the receptionist asked what the diagnosis was, and I replied, "Phimosis". "Ahh," she said, "so he'll be needing a circumcision..." And then she proceeded to ask for his full name, etc. "Wait!" I thought. "Circumcision??? Uh, I don't think so!" It was at this point I realized what could happen to my son if I followed through with the appointment. I was making an appointment for him to get a "tiny snip" by someone who routinely does complete circs! Yikes! I made up an excuse and hung up, and my fingers flew straight to Mothering.com....I wish I had come here first instead of taking him in. Oh well! Thanks again for the support. I've learned so much from the links.
Take care everyone, and yes, Tutucrazy, I'll definitely be sticking around!

 

[mommyminer]

Phimosis can't be diagnosed at the age of 3!

 

[chaoticzenmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joywith5 I really appreciate all the great advice and support. Chaoticzenmom, great idea about the jeans. My little guy is always in sweats, and I really think that could be contributing to the problem...now I have an excuse to shop!! : I wanted to share what prompted me to run to this forum. Our doctor gave us the name of a pediatric urologist, and suggested we get him in right away. I called this morning to set up the appointment, thinking I was arranging something fairly benign. You know, just a little snip. Well, the receptionist asked what the diagnosis was, and I replied, "Phimosis". "Ahh," she said, "so he'll be needing a circumcision..." And then she proceeded to ask for his full name, etc. "Wait!" I thought. "Circumcision??? Uh, I don't think so!" It was at this point I realized what could happen to my son if I followed through with the appointment. I was making an appointment for him to get a "tiny snip" by someone who routinely does complete circs! Yikes! I made up an excuse and hung up, and my fingers flew straight to Mothering.com....I wish I had come here first instead of taking him in. Oh well! Thanks again for the support. I've learned so much from the links. Take care everyone, and yes, Tutucrazy, I'll definitely be sticking around!

wow, that was a close call. Good for you for questioning that! crazy!

 

[tutucrazy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joywith5 I really appreciate all the great advice and support. Chaoticzenmom, great idea about the jeans. My little guy is always in sweats, and I really think that could be contributing to the problem...now I have an excuse to shop!! : I wanted to share what prompted me to run to this forum. Our doctor gave us the name of a pediatric urologist, and suggested we get him in right away. I called this morning to set up the appointment, thinking I was arranging something fairly benign. You know, just a little snip. Well, the receptionist asked what the diagnosis was, and I replied, "Phimosis". "Ahh," she said, "so he'll be needing a circumcision..." And then she proceeded to ask for his full name, etc. "Wait!" I thought. "Circumcision??? Uh, I don't think so!" It was at this point I realized what could happen to my son if I followed through with the appointment. I was making an appointment for him to get a "tiny snip" by someone who routinely does complete circs! Yikes! I made up an excuse and hung up, and my fingers flew straight to Mothering.com....I wish I had come here first instead of taking him in. Oh well! Thanks again for the support. I've learned so much from the links. Take care everyone, and yes, Tutucrazy, I'll definitely be sticking around!

Oh-geez!!!! That is so frightening! Think about all the parents that take their sons their and don't know any better. WOW! Makes me so sad to think about!

I'm glad you'll stick around.