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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How do you help someone who doesn't want help? My dh has been going through some tough times. He had a job where he was unhappy, he started a new job which he though would be he answer to all of his problems and it is not the quick fix he expected. He worries almost constantly (money, health issues etc) and claims that I just don't understand because he is under a great deal of stress.<br><br>
He mood affects everyone in the house. Family interactions are no fun. When we do things as a family he tends to yell and be impatient.<br><br>
How can I help him?
 

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honestly? you can't. But a sneaky wife might spike his drinks with the appropriate Bach floral remedy <a href="http://www.bachflower.com/" target="_blank">http://www.bachflower.com/</a> maybe that would help him get to the point of recognizing he needs help...
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
The job thing sounds like my DH. He's bipolar2 and whenever he's down, he wants to change jobs because he thinks it'll solve everything . . .<br><br>
If he's open to taking vitamins and supplements (you don't have to tell him it's for his mood), make sure he takes a good multivitamin; plenty of B complex and Folate; and TONS of Fish Oil with a high EPA content. Also, getting early morning sun (Vit D) as well as early morning exercise (seratonin levels) can help. Maybe you could take a walk as a family -- you know, for your *health*??<br><br>
Of course, this is DH's nutritional RX and may not fit your DH perfectly, but it's worth a try. . .<br><br>
DH's Psych also wants him eating plenty of fresh fruits and Veggies, but I don't see that happening anytime soon . . .<br><br>
Good Luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the advice. I am going to try to get him to take some supplements hopefully it helps a bit he will see that he doesn't have to be so miserable and do something about it. Several people who have known him for a long time have asked what is going on and why is he like this. He just doesn't see it.<br><br>
One of the kids actually made a comment about how no one would recognize him if he smiled <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I don't remember the last time he actually had fun doing anything.
 

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Its really hard to live with someone who is depressed. Its like a huge dark blanket over the whole family. Usually even if you aren't aware of it, everyone's moods are affected by the depressed person's.<br><br>
It will probably take a while, but you could start by sympathizing with how he seems to feel ("You deserve to enjoy life, sweety. Is there anything I can do to help?") trying to find the words that finally resonate with him without feeling intrusive or pushy. And also emphasizing that HE HAS A RIGHT TO FEEL BETTER as opposed to focusing on there's something wrong and he needs to have it fixed. So that maybe he'll start thinking, "Hey; life ISN'T supposed to be this way. I do deserve to feel better" instead of stubbornly clinging to, 'there's nothing wrong with me" or "its not me; its the world (or the job or the weather" or whatever).<br><br>
Once he gets to the point where he might actually be willing to consider that life could be better, he might be willing to go to an appointment with a prescriber if YOU make the appointment and take him to it. Once he gets there, hopefully the prescriber will have good ways in helping him to open up without him feeling that there's something wrong with him.<br><br>
If you can hang in there to do this... its really hard to put your own needs aside for so long.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the suggestion. I will see what I can do to sympathize and not give him any reasons to be stressed or worried. Maybe getting him to relax and have fun will make him see what he is missing out on.<br><br>
I am willing to try anything because his moods really are a problem for the whole family. You can even see it in the kids.
 

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The book The Mood Cure by Julia Ross is great. One of the things I got from it was her dietary suggestions. I changed the way we eat in our house, my husband didn't have to do anything, and the results were fairly remarkable. I basically just started getting up and making eggs and high protein things for breakfast, and cooking them with butter, per the diet in the book.
 
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